Picture this,

You're playing ranked on Kanal.
It's been a game full of close rounds and spawnpeeking.
Yet, the chat is silent.
The score is 4-4
and you see the chatbox light up
It's from the other teams best player
TheBellend27 : im going to drape my maple syrup covered nutsack across your disappointed faces

This means nothing to you..

But subconsciously

He's inside your head.

The idea of him and his maple syrup slathered nutsack..

It's there, and it's a 1v1, you and him,

and you choke.

It's no ones fault,

But you feel guilty,

Morale stoops to a new low.

And your rank does too,


This guide will do it's best to make sure you get inside your enemies heads before they get inside yours,

Lets go other a few things;

• ♥♥♥♥ talking does not need to be funny.
  
• You NEED to be as Obnoxious as possible.

Why do you need to be obnoxious? well, it's simple.
Over the years insults have been reused and recycled numerous times, we've all had our mothers insulted, we've all had our penises mocked and our skill questioned;

We're used to it.

You'll be hard-pressed to find a genuine insult that someone won't just dust off,

You need to take the insult and make it as obnoxious as possible to get the maximum effect out of seemingly nothing

"I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your mother, it was good"
+ more obnoxious toxicity
= "I just got back from being in ________'s mother, I was like a sweaty lumberjack, ramming it into that wet meaty log, hooo ________'s mother has the tight pinker"

Remember.

It doesnt have to be funny, just be as obnoxious as possible,

You're trying to be the really poorly acted bully from a cashgrab kids film.

• there are no rules in siege ♥♥♥♥-talking

Notice how he's smaller than you? Use that.

Don't just use it; abuse the hell out of it.

It's an advantage. Everything is an advantage if you're optimistic enough.

You're the Chad, the Alpha male.

He is the turbo beta, the exact opposite.



Keep it sweet and short.

You are no longer you.

You are an infectious entity, exploit your anonymity and make yourself out to be someone else.

You need to RP as a big brolic black guy. I doubt they'll buy it, but it's obnoxious.

Example:
You're autistic,
"ya, same"
You're so bad
"ya, same"

Goal:
Fueling their rage, making them sperg over the fact you're not fueling their toxicity, the old switcharoo;


Example:
you'r ♥♥♥♥ :DD
♥♥♥♥♥♥ noob lul destroid
easie win!

Goal:
Just be an obnoxious prat

Example:
I bet your name is Terrence or something lmao

Goal:
They'll hopefully take the time to correct you, if they tell you what their real name is, you make fun of that instead, even if it's the same as yours



Example:
you seem to give me a run for my money in how many huge ♥♥♥♥♥ you've sucked
jesus christ man you make me look good and i'm a absolute spaz

Goal:
Lower yourself to their level so you can kick them even lower

Example:
Got back from rawdogging your mother like a sweaty lumberjack, I was ramming deep into that wet meaty log, phew.

Me and your Mother played out an interesting reenactment of the first world war and what it'd be like if instead of war she took 5 hot, steamy loads to the face

You take the beatings like a champ, then again, like mother like son,

Goal:
Help them get the idea of you in the bonezone with their mother.


Example: Mention your Nutsack and how it'll be covered in various condiments to help hide the shame of your magnificent sack glazing over their face

Goal: It's rather obviously obnoxious for the sake of it?

dude just go ahead and do whatever you absolute monster if you've reached this point there's literally no point sititng here trying to teach you to talk like at this point you're a homophobic racist black nazi jew who hates anyone who is even slightly different yet finds the time to vaginally insert themselves into every player in the games mother


♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ godspeed you,