Galactic Junk League

Galactic Junk League

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A Junkie's Guide for Beginners
By MrEMincedKraft
[Outdated/Abandoned] A guide with some tips and tricks for beginners (and some intermediates) who wanna piece at some galactic junk blastin' action!
   
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Welcome Junkies! (No, not those junkies)
Hey you! Do you wanna know the basics of bein' a proper Junkie out in the cold dead void of space brimming to the stems with precious junk, but you can't fight for crap?! Then this is the guide for you! In this guide you'll get to know some basics about some ships you'll encounter, and how to (probably) deal with them.

Keep in mind that is is an unfinished ever changing and developing guide, so some details and hints might be altered in the future!
How do I pilot this tin can?!
If it weren't already obvious by the 30lb instructions manual that you recieved with this booklet, and the extremely clear directions given to you by the loading screens between each round, you control your ships with W A S D for basic movements, such as going forward, backwards, yada yada yada.., with the SPACEBAR and CONTROL keys letting you go up and down.

The primary mouse button obviously shoots (and if you got a problem with pointing 'n' shootin' you're in the wrong place pal), and the secondary or right mouse button letting you see either the terror in your enemy's or a close up with the barrage of missles and bullets that you get for chargin' at the enemy as the tough guy!

Something that's extra handy is your ship's ability to strafe, and this is good for rounding corners, or peeking out of cover for a shot or two. So keep this in mind when you need to both shoot and take cover!

Oh, and of course if you got even more problems with the basics, play those damn tutorial videos on the holotapes and for one, listen to the helper bot! (Who i like to call Larry the Possible Sex Offender because of his face. I mean, look at him.)

The World(s) and You
Now if you numbskulls here who can't manage to push a few buttons and pull a lever or two STILL can't pilot whatever ship you got (Hell, a friend's cousin of mine has one with the pilot seat as a toilet. Don't ask.) I suggest you ask Larry the Se- I mean, get used to practicing in... well. Practice Mode! Anyway, this section deals with how to use the enviornment to your advantage, or things you should know about it.


Duck and Cover!
So you're flyin' around and you notice a nice little Destroyer staring you down with that fancy Gauss they got and you're a large hunk of metal. What do you do? If your answer was to duck behind cover, that is correct! Despite some planets people fight on being the meanest, toughest chunks of space rock filled with the richest resources like... uh... blue... er... tonium..? What ever it is, it also provides you with handy dandy rocks that you can duck behind! That fancy Gauss Cannon might eat through armor like a fat kid in a candy store, but it can't destroy rocks!

The Getaway Plan
Imagine being caught in a nasty situation and you're flying away from can only be described as an angry swarm of metal and plastic with deadly weapons that have a certain interest in a certain little ship of yours. Anyone with half a scrap and a handful of brain (no wait, I mean- oh forget about it) knows that the most secretive and effective strategy must be used in times like this: running away! So what if people call you a coward? It's not like they're charging bliindly into battle right?

Anyway, it's not a bad thing to back away from a fight when you need to regroup with your allies, but you probably should watchout for any rocks and stuff you might ram into. If you happen to be dodging by moving left and right and going up and down and bump into some rocks while going up/down, you can maintain that tough guy act you rookies like to have and shrug it off! Rather than panicking and stopping because a rock stalled you, you can maintaining that momentum that you were putting in to running away. As odd as it may sound, when something like this happens you can work around it like treating your ship like a bouncy ball. That's right, a bouncy ball. I hear your snickering there, but surpsingly this is a good way to maintain your posture.

To make this concept easy to grasp, imagine goiing forward and decending rapidly when a rock you didn't pay attention to smashes into your ship. Just switch from pressing the down button, you switch to pressing up. From then you can chose to either go up all the way or up temorarily to duck down a hole that you undershot. Now, why would you do this? If you were to stay going down despite rubbing against that rock, you're being slowed down because, like I said, you're rubbing up on the rock! (Yeah yeah keep the dirty jokes for later)
Not just Meat Shields
Surpise, surprise, those things you call "allies" aren't just some handfuls of scrap with thrusters slapped on them that you can use to take a bullet for you! This section is about teamwork, and learning about strength in numbers.

Two's a company, Three's a crowd...
Sure you might wanna do things "your way" and go in guns blazing at the enemy because you think you're a one man army? Well lemme let you in on a secret for you little buddies who think that's the right thing to do. Stop. You and that pea shooter of yours can barely tickle any intergalactic worm, and your armor is as protective as wet cardboard against a barrage of bullets and rockets. But guess what? You don't have to be the only cardboard box in the galaxy! Even if you think your allies are as good as toaters with thrusters attached to them (hey, I think my uncle once did that and made it spew out rockets as some inside joke) with you and their combine strength you might actually stand a chance at getting one guy! Woildn't that be neat?

Retrea- I mean, make a Tactical Withdrawl!
Be sure you know when you're overextending and making yourself welcome to the enemy's spawn! 'Cause what's worse than an angry flying brick with poiny lasers directed towards you? A pissed off brick with pointy lasers aimed at you with his other angry friends piling up behind him! You might not have noticed, but you just walked right into the enemy's house and have overdone your stay! So you should know when to back out of a fight, even if that ONE guy is flippin' you off while they make thir getaway towards their allies.
Specific Guns 'n' Roses Classes
So I've been hearing amongst several recruits, cadets, raiders, blah blah blah, that they're sick and tired of having their asses handed to them by several long range weapons, quick speedsters, yada yada. This is almost universal, but ya know what? There are ways to deal with them aside from complaining about them from your trashed ship.


  • Destroyers - What better way to beat these heaps of scrap than to charge blindly at them, right? No. It's best to know about the effective ranges of these fellas right here, along with what kind of gun they're using. Once you're familiar with the ranges on their guns (with and without Artillery mode on is prefered), you'll know when to keep your distance for once!
  • Gauss Cannons (and maybe Cruise Missles too) - One of the major draw backs of using a sniper is moving a really fast moving target. I mean, have you ever tried hitting a space ferret with Cwrqnlean rabies jacked up on purple crack strapped to a jetpack before? No? Netiher have I, but I would never want to. Anyway, if you got some high mobility and maneuverability, use it! And sure, some ships are really slow, but you can try moving unpredictably towards some cover. (Unless you're a slow battleship than yeah... Destroyers are meant to be counters to ships of this type)
  • Frigates - The most infuriating this that could happen to you as a big buff ship floating proudly in space is having your position as the big man around ruined as you're humilated by a single frigate pulling your pants down and disabling you. As you struggle to hit them with your Gattling Gausses or rockets, you begin to contenplate giving up the scraping life as they continue to zip around slapping you in the face. Not to fear, for there's a way to deal with these tots who think they can mess with big guys like you! Lasers! They're quick, fast, and come in various sizes! Like... small and large... (not much to chose from eh?). Anyway, they act as hitscan weapons, meaning that you won't have to compensate for any bullet speeds or such, as they only thing between you and a dead frigate is playing an intense game of point 'n' click! Another thing you can do is have a friendly frigate disable the frigate that's been bothering you too.
Conclusion
Congratulations! You're probbably either smarter or dumber after this guide, but either way you now know some handy dandy tips and tricks that'll help you cadets and recruit junkies out in the cold scrap filled depths of space. While it may be merciless and terrifying, you'll now at least know what hit you as you frail around in either desperation or anger, and maybe know what to swear off with your last breaths of air!

Feel free to like, comment, and if you really liked this guide, favorite it! I might be updating this as the game recieves more updates, things I didn't cover turn up, or people find new ways to screw each other over, so stay tuned folks.

6 Comments
vacci 28 May, 2022 @ 4:35pm 
rip
Willm1324 16 Aug, 2018 @ 8:10pm 
good guide made me laugh and mabe a bit dumber like going to school some times does
JustinTroubleAgain 1 Aug, 2017 @ 11:10pm 
fantastic guide, wana update it for the new game mode?
XI0I 21 Jun, 2017 @ 3:07am 
best. guide. ever.
Kat 23 May, 2017 @ 8:06am 
JOSUKE.... someone disabled you
:steamhappy:
lupenthewolf 29 Mar, 2017 @ 11:55am 
This guide made me smile. :steamhappy: