To Firr a gum, you must first cut down the gum tree - as you will need it's lumber for a later stage in the process. Gum trees are notorious for being very stingy about being cut down - thus you will need to first harvest an orange grapefruit, and some moongrove extract. Cover the grapefruit with the moongrove extract (you will need to use gloves to move it) and place it before the gum tree. When the gum tree notices the grapefruit, it will begin to stirr in place and consider what to do. On the third time the tree shudders, you can be sure it is distracted. At this point you will need to perform the delicate task of collecting a signle branch of gum-wood - to do this you will need a hacksaw made of pure diamond. Take the hacksaw and use it to create the soothing sound of steel and diamonds cutting into corroded iron by scrapping it back and forth. (Note, you can also use a piece of flatware and a plate, either way you get the same ear-bleeding effect). The gum tree will now be in a calm state and prepare to move on it's chance for the grapefruit. Your opertunity will be slim, and you need to work quickly - call a 155mm howitzer strike (High explosive) firing for area of effect. (Face it you've got 30 seconds to run or your done lol) When this is complete request a gun-run and missile strike from a local Close Air Support Asset, finally nuke the site from orbit. You are now free to return to the site of the gum tree. When you find the gum tree, you will need to use a pure diamond chainsaw for the next part. Rest the branch you want to cut atop the chainsaw and get busy cutting with a half dull butterknife. Congratulations, you now have a single piece of uncut gum-wood.

But hold on there - we aren't nearly done yet. Now you must take this rare piece of wood -(It's rare because you blew up the gumwood forrest)- to the Well of Eternal Life, and gently dip it into it's sacred waters. -(Note, you may or may not be able to find this, in the later case take it to a sewage plant and throw it into the current for acouple hours) Your gumwood is now treated and blessed by the tides of time, and shall withstand any force against it. Now, blend the branch (slowly) into mulch using a blend-tech brand blender while listening to the dialup conncection soundtrack for ten hours. When this is achieved, take the blessed-crushing-super-holy-mulch to your local paper factory and pour the chips into the factory line. (I don't really know where, just toss it into machinery slowly and see what happens) Once you have done this, go to the end of the factory line and wait. After you have finished listening to a rickroll-smashmouth remix on your Nokia cellphone, the machine before you will spit out a single 1" by 2" board of gumwood. Congratulations!

You may now proceed to apply this gumwood firring onto a structure of your choosing. (Note: the gumwood firring will need to be changed every three days so build whatever your building quickly if your using this to keep moisture out.) However some of you will now feel cheated that you cannot use this material in permanent construction. There is an easy fix for this, throw the board into the sacred ashes of the lost dinosaur spaceship, and then go down to your local department store and buy a 1" by 2" piece of plywood for acouple steam credits. (If they don't accept steam credits you may have to resort to the local currency) Thanks for listening on this in-depth tutorial on how to firr a gum. Have a nice (rest of your) day.