the first step of being the most annoying valuable member of your pub UGC team is, of course, finding the right pocket.

there are two types of pockets:
the "we just met on a pub in 2fort and we're getting married in 2 months" pocket solider
and the "we met in 6th grade and i'm helping him refrain from shooting up the school" pocket solider

the "we just met on a pub in 2fort and we're getting married in 2 months" solider is more commonplace in comp, as nobody who plays comp has real life friends. these soliders are easy to find: either go on to a skial trade server and find the solider with the highest hours and most expensive unusual, friend him, and ask if you can be his pocket. 99% of the time this will work, as anybody with an unusual that they didn't unbox probably has more hours in trade servers than b4nny's total playtime overall, OR go to 2fort and ask if anybody needs a pocket.

the "we met in 6th grade and i'm helping him refrain from shooting up the school" are less common, but easier to pull off for those who are in school: ask friend if you can be his pocket, if he says yes, then go to a random trading website and get two all-class hats to show that you two are the medic and the solider of your highlander team. i would reccomend the brotherhood of arms and bandana combo, and make sure that you two both have lime green paint on them.

follow the solider and don't let go of m1, and occasionally hit m2

bind [key] "say XD"
(usually used for whenever you get a mostly unimportant assist)

bind [key] "say (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)"
(usually used in response to hate from teammates who complain that they need healing)

bind [key] "say ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"
(self explanitory)

bind [key] "say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
(used whenever a question is asked)

-if you have a multi-button mouse, use those buttons to move, heal, and pop uber

-never use other loadout than crossbow, stock medigun, and ubersaw

-it's never your fault, it's your team's

-if all else fails, claim that you have autism and pretend to cry until your solider boyfriend starts to comfort you

-never play anything other than skial 2fort and casual, unless it's highlander or 6v6

thanks for nickname for being good at the game

xd