heres something else. i have the carrier set to attack the destroyer, instead its turning away and not fireing at all, as well as a few rogue fighters deciding to commit suicide by attacking it on its own while the rest have a confab arount the carrier. all my turrets are set to attack capitol ships, and the destroyer is well within range, but its not doing anything. i might as well fly the ship myself and get rid of all the other ships, the result will be the same no matter what https://prnt.sc/63I87VRviEGD

First advice, I would make sure to order the carrier to keep the ships launched and not docked.
in his information tab.
Then I would delete orders from the Destroyers and the M ships and make them their own fleet, then order them to do whatever you want, like protect the carrier etc...

You don't want destroyers on Intercept role, as this role is meant for fighters to only intercept other S/M ships that come near the "commander" so it wil make destroyers useless.

You want destroyers on "bombard" role, this means they will only engage L/XL ships but the turrets will still engage other targets if they are in range.

Usually I don't merge destroyers and carriers, you dont want a carrier to engage against L/XL ships, but you want them to stay at safe distance and use the fighters for whatever you need them for.

Destroyers operate better in destroyer fleets.

But like I said, several fleets is better than one big fleet.
This game doesn't work well when you blob all your ships together and expect everything to work alone.

I usually make 1 carrier fleet to keep fighters around, give them Interceptors, bombers and heavy fighters.
I don't use M ships as they are very useless in AI hands.

Then I make Destroyer fleets, Light faste destroyers for interception
Heavy slow destroyers for Bigger engagements or gate blockades.

Best is to keep orders for each fleet seperate, this gives best results.