2nd rule: Mr. Gurt or his real alias "jordan," will projectile vomit if horse raddish is brought within 150 meters on sundays between 4.pm and 5pm. 100 meters is the tempature is below 14 degrees ferenheight

3rd rule:"my name jeff" or any variation of said statement shall result in the subject "Mr.Gurt" sprouting horse raddish from his ears and saying the entire magna carta backwards.

4th rule: To build off the 3rd Rule, Any dead meme other than "my name jeff" will result in simmiliar results, abliet details will be different depending on how old the meme is. ranging from, just lightly siezing, to foaming from the mouth, Screaming what is presumed the torah in pig-latin

5th rule: if one consumes horse raddish in the presence of Mr.Gurt, may god help us if it ever happens, for it will be the last action anyone on earth will commit as the full self destruction of the planet will commence to the tune of MCHAMMER's Cant touch this.

rule 6: If rule 5 should ever happen, there is the slightest chance you may be able to stop it by playing "flight of the valkaries," while in a JonTron costume reciting the japanese bible backwards while eating large amounts of curry. researchers at the deparment of homeland security are not sure why this works, but it has been proven. (see incident 9/11)

rule 8: ifyou find yourself in a store selling horse raddish and know infact Mr.Gurt is within a 200,000 mile radius, please dispose of their entire stock ASAP.to prevent him from finding the store in question switch the store music with zydeco (the more cajun the better).
what was that? why no rule seven? seven is the geographical corespondent to the word horse raddish in the albanian dictonary of science so its best to avoid the number altogether while around Gurt.

If you mention the highly rated game "garrys mod," immdiatley take precautionary actions to ensure you don't get sucked into his ever-fascinating Fandom known colquialy refered to as "creationism." Subject gurt will attempt to drug you, if that fails he will hit you oveer the head with the nearest blunt object, it should be noted that if he does not have internet access to show you his mod pack, he will drag you back to his lair, wether it be a house, or a cave, will show you his extensive lego collection before killing you and turning your spleen, liver, one of your kidneys, and spinal fluid, into cheap ♥♥♥♥♥ ripoffs of "lego" wich sustains his existence from his severe reaction to horse raddish.

Thank you for reading, we hope you abide by the rules, not only for your own saftey, but for the saftey of mankind as a whole.

All of these rules are in the official document of the province of grass island and maxico as a whole.