UPDATE: The release of the Community Challenge has sparked my interest once more... Mod Levels are now being added to the Diary! There will be no Meme Levels, WIP Levels and most Time Rift Levels (Unless they have a story behind them).

NOTE: I didn't include the 1st 2 missions because Mustache Girl wasn't friends with Hat Kid until after "Barrel Battle".



MAFIA TOWN.

(She Came from Outer Space): "I always love it when it rains here, something about the weather with the sound of the waves feels very relaxing to me... which just makes me angrier that the Mafia ruined this island so I can't really enjoy it. Speaking of which... I gave that one with the wierd glasses a nasty scare that made him give up one of those wierd hourglasses, but its going to take me hours to get the mud stains out of my clothes. *sigh* the things I do for a friend..."

(Down with the Mafia): "Mission Accomplished! The Mafia is going to be history without their boss around, heck, I'm willing to bet they'll all be out of here by the end of the month! Though a little extra push wouldn't hurt... who am I kidding, it's going to hurt them a lot! Small Spoiler to anybody who snuck in here to read my stuff, my past self also swore to use the Time Pieces to run the Mafia off the island after a "little argument", which is where I come in, but on the bright side, even if I don't end up stopping myself at least Hat Kid and I are friends again."

(The Golden Vault): "I always wondered what was in all those vaults the Mafia have lying around, but that one made of solid gold was driving me CRAZY. What could have been in there? Where were the vault codes? Did the Mafia actually have something worthwhile that wasn't a dead fish? Turns out it just had a Time Piece in it, granted I actually WANT to find these things, but it felt a little underwhelming."

(Heating up Mafia Town): "Those faucets were connected to a volcano!? The Island was built on a VOLCANO!!?? When I did that in the past I thought they would just flood the place with water not magma. I don't know what's dumber, the fact I didn't realize I was living on a giant molten rock this whole time or that people were actually stupid enough to build a town on top of one."

(Cheating the Race): "Ugh!! The nerve of those Mafia sods, using a Rocket and calling yourself the "fastest man alive" tch, yeah right! If that goon didn't blast into pieces once that rocket went airborne he will be when he eventually hits the ground. But they should have left the Island days ago! I KNOW their boss is done for, I mashed him into paste and shoved what was left of him into a jar, WHY ARE THEY STILL HERE!!!"


BATTLE OF THE BIRDS.

(Dead Bird Studio): "Firstly, the name of the place was SO misleading, there wasn't a dead bird ANYWHERE. I thought I was going to see some zombie pigeons or skeleton hawks and stuff like that, that would have been awesome! Anyway, some Conductor, who I am CERTAIN isn't even a bird (He has no eyes!) and a flamboiyant penguin who goes by DJ Grooves hired me on as their star actress, but I don't even know what an actress is... whatever, if it gets me Time Pieces I might as well play along."

(Murder on the Owl Express): "That p-! No, not going to say it, not even on paper. But, COME ON! I was so excited to solve a murder and catch a bad guy, its the kind of stuff I live for, then I find out it was just the movie the Conductor planned and didn't bother to tell me about! If his plan was to get the actors more invested by keeping them them the dark about his movie, it probably never occured to him that SOME of them might want to strangle him for lying about it!"

(Train Rush): "Ok, this Conductor guy has got WAY too many screws loose to think putting a Live Bomb on his train was a good idea for a movie shot! Does he even realize how many people he could have killed if I wasn't there!? WAIT, what if he was doing multiple-takes and I just "happened" to show up when he had a new train ready? Ok, I don't care how charismatic he can be, me and him are going to have a little "discussion" when the awards are over."

(Picture Perfect): "That penguin was actually serious about making me a movie star? I thought he was just somebody's hype man, and it's kind of wierd that he calls everybody "darling", also, what's a Diva? I have to admit though, he's WAY friendlier than... whatever the Conductor is supposed to be (seriously, where are his eyes?), I'm actually regretting that I was going to kill him in that Time mishap even more now."

(The Big Parade): "I have 2 things to say about today, 1: Apparently "Band Marshal" Is the most dangerous job in the world. 2: That penguin is a sodding madman! I know a marching band isn't exactly supposed to stop moving, but whoever Grooves hired wouldn't back off under penalty of death or something. Also... WHY WAS HE FIRING ROCKETS AT ME!!! Don't tell me BOTH these movie producers are bloody psychos! I swear I better get a 5 star rating after all this is over..."

(Award Ceremony (Conductor)): "I know winning is a nice thing and cheating is bad, but anybody with a morality would tell you it isn't worth KILLING someone over it! And for what!? 1 Award that he didn't win when he already has 384 (How old are these people!?). There's being a sore loser, than there's being a total Sod, the Conductor was planning to use the Time Piece to get an award he didn't win when, again, he already has 384, just take the loss and move on you nutjob! Also, he never actually payed me for the being the star in his movies, stingy jerk..."

(Award Ceremony (DJ Grooves)): "I know winning is a nice thing and cheating is bad, but anybody with a morality would tell you it isn't worth KILLING someone over it! What happened Grooves? You were by far the better man when compared to the Conductor (Even though you need to have a talk with the guy that made those fireworks...). Yeah, I get it, I'd be suspicous too if I only won 1 award out of 385 (How old can birds get!?) but going as far as to commit murder to hide cheating is stepping out of line. Also, speaking from experience, Time Travel would have only screwed everything up the way he was going to use it, he'll thank me for taking that Time Piece off his hands later... when he eventually wakes up."


SUBCON FOREST.

(Contractual Obligations): "*sigh*... I just got my soul taken by an overly expressive ghost who nailed all the cliche "cartoon villain" tropes square on the nose, and now he's making me do all his chores! If there's ANY positives to all this, at least he's paying in Time Pieces and now I don't feel AT ALL guilty that I was going to kill him in the... future that hasn't happened."

(Subcon Well): "Out of all the potential jobs that creep could have given me, he decided that "Cleaning Lady" was the perfect choice for me. To be honest though... the "cleaning" work he had me do just involved unplugging a Well so the water could go through again, which has me questioning. Why is there a giant well in the middle of a dreary swamp in a haunted forest with a scenery that screams "Don't Come Here!"? Why did it have an awesome Hookshot inside it and why did it have a drain plug when it NEEDS the water to flow? As long as the other jobs are this easy I hopefully won't have to stick around this place for too long." (Very small writing) Why do I feel like I just jinxed myself?)

(Toilet of Doom): AGH!!! GROSS, GROSS, GROSS!!! I just had to fight a giant living OUTHOUSE! Its going to take me days, hecking DAYS to get rid of this stench... I swear Hat Kid's having a nice laugh at my misfortune, the jerk! Its not like she had to go through this humiliating situation! Wait..."

(Queen Vanessa's Manor): ""It's just a simple errand" he said "It's the easiest job I've got" he said... WHAT ABOUT THAT WAS SIMPLE OR EASY!? That lady was by far the freakiest thing I've ever seen! turning people into Ice statues, distorting reality whenever she walked into the same room as me... I did manage to somehow get that Time Piece out of her attic and slip back out unnoticed and now I'm probably going to... hide under Hat Kid's bed for a few days if that's ok with her..."

(Mail Delivery Service): "Seriously!? That stick-thin phantom that seemed pretty intent on getting me killed in one way or another, just needed me to give his servents some mail??? Between the Mafia, incredibly dangerous movie stunts and a bloody HELLSPAWN in a mansion this has got to be the easiest Time Piece i've ever earned. Either Mr. "Snatcher" is running out of ideas or he's running out of Time Pieces, I'm hoping its both because I'm sick of doing this guy's grunt work!"

(Your Contract has Expired): "And, surprising absolutely NOBODY, the creepy ghost ruling over an eerie forest tried to kill me because I did all his grunt work and "outlived my usefulness". But that just made me realize that he did this exact same thing to Hat Kid, he made her do all the stuff I had to do than tried to kill her when she did everything. That means either Hat Kid has a horrible memory if she actually DEFENDED these people, or she actually didn't care about them at all and beat me up just so she could get her Time Pieces back. For her sake it better be the latter..."


ALPINE SKYLINE. (In the order I completed it)

(The Birdhouse): "So that was where all those Crows came from, who even made that place anyway? Every crow I saw doesn't have hands and most of them try to headbutt people on sight, a few of them even had wierd hairdos and sunglasses, who did they think they were, kings? Also, I don't think I'll ever be able to eat an omlette again, those living bomb eggs made me paranoid to touch even a hard-boiled one. I swear I felt a breeze blow through after I grabbed the Time Piece, but it was probably just a regular occurrence somewhere up that high."

(The Windmill): "A mostly relaxing climb up a huge windmill, never thought I'd ever say a sentence like that. If only all the other Time Pieces were in places that calm, yeah there was a little bit of a spider problem but it was nothing a good punch to the face couldn't solve. Although... as soon as I grabbed the Time Piece those weird purple flowers started blooming, one of the villagers said they were dangerous but its probably just superstition, courtesy of that "Snatcher" sod."

(Twilight Bell): "I... I have no idea where I just was. I rang a huge bell and suddenly I'm in another dimension, it was weird, really weird... Spirits were floating everywhere and I swear I was hearing voices in my head the entire time I was there, is that where people go when they die? Anyways I got the Time Piece and got out of there as fast as I could, last time I was that unnerved about a place it was when I went into a manor with a demon Queen walking around. More of those Purple Flowers started to bloom once I left, did the Time Pieces do something to them?"

(Lava Cake): "When I heard the words, "Lava Cake" I assumed the villagers were talking about a cake that had a Hot chocolate center or something, not a Gigantic Cake made of actual Lava. Wasn't expecting that, but not as much as I wasn't expecting the GIANT KNIFE stuck inside it! How did that even get there!? There's so much about this planet I don't know that I'm actually kind of sad, I LIVE here and I know about as much as Hat Kid, and she's from a different world. Also, was it just me, or was a huge storm rolling in after I got the Time Piece?"

(The Infection Spreads): "So THAT'S why the villagers said those Purple Flowers were dangerous... Infecting the entire population up on the Alpines was bad enough but SOMEHOW a couple of thorny plants managed to create a giant lightning storm!? HOW!?! I honestly can't tell if I just got really unlucky or the Time Pieces somehow had something to do with that. Either way, once I took care of the plants, the weather went back to normal, the locals gave me the last Time Piece they had and I left feeling all warm and fuzzy. Being an actual hero feels really good, which makes me REALLY want to stop myself now. Once I saw the world for myself it made me realize just how much of a jerk I became, though the Mafia still need to go and I'm keeping an exorcist on hold for that Snatcher sod."

TIME'S END.

(The Finale): "*sigh* I went back in time to PREVENT this from happening, but even though I tried as hard as I could, I couldn't stop myself... Now I'm back at square one only now I've had enough time to really regret my little "episode" at Time's End. Hat Kid still threw that 1 Time Piece down to the me that would go back in time to repeat everything I just did, than she handed one to me... I obviously couldn't go with her, but since I just helped her through this whole adventure, she actually trusts me with her Time Pieces now. I'll admit, I kind of broke down after that little gesture, give or take 15 minutes, but she promised she'd stop by again someday when I've become a REAL hero. Well, better not disappoint her! I'll have the Mafia off the Island by the end of the week, and this time, no giant castles in the middle of scenic "Apocalypse"."

ARCTIC CRUISE.

(Bon Voyage!): "That has got to be the biggest ship I've ever seen! No wonder the ticket for this cruise cost so many pons, a shame the crew can't really do their job, but I honestly can't be mad at the little guys, they're just too darn CUTE! Also... all the "bad guys" were on the cruise as well. Thankfully they seemed to have forgotten that whole "Time's End" incident but then again, one of the Conductor's Grandkids looked like he wanted to stab me..."

(Ship Shape): "I could have just gone the easy way and stole the Time Piece from the Lost and Found, but I promised Hat Kid I'd become a REAL hero. So I got to experience the life of the Ship Crew first hand, and it was TORTURE!!! How do those little guys put up with so much work day in and night out? It felt like trying to deliver a Pizza to somebody on the other side of a huge city and then return the bag in just 2 minutes... I am so glad I booked a ViP room because I REALLY needed that massage after today."

(Rock the Boat): "So... I can't drive a boat apparently. Thankfully Seals have pretty bad short term memories so I didn't end up having the whole ship (or what was left of it...) turn against me while I was saving them from drowning in icey water. Although, I couldn't save EVERYONE, those Mafia were just too far gone by the time I got to them. >:3"


DEATH WISH (Kill me now...)

(Beat the Heat): "Whew... I know lava generally makes everything REALLY hot but I wasn't expecting it to start feeling like I was on fire just by standing around. That sod of a Ghost wasn't joking when he said these Contracts were going to be "Advanced", but if doing them means getting him off Hat Kid's ship and out of our lives, I'll humor him, but I'm STILL getting an exorcist, I heard of this guy called "Luigi" who has experience with ghosts."

(So you're back from outer space): "I'm pretty sure the construction I chased that Mafia Goon through when I got covered in mud wasn't this long or dangerous. I know for a fact that Mafia can't operate a wrecking ball, they can't even prepare an edible meal! And why were aliens driving their UFOs around the place? I thought they lived on the Moon like penguins? Whatever, knowing Snatcher he just threw everything he could think of at me and hoped I would die, didn't work though."

(Collect-a-thon): "Leave it to Snatcher to make grabbing pons a pain, thankfully I'm already a pro at getting the things, if it isn't breaking open crates and barrels its pickpocketing the mafia or taking it off their bodies. At least this was a "mostly" easy contract, knowing that sod of a ghost he's eventually going to start throwing the most unfair garbage he can think of at me at the rate I'm going."

(Vault Codes in the Wind): "Yep, here we go, he's starting to make the contracts unreasonable. I think anybody would know that small strips of paper will fly away if they're left out on a windy day (Speaking of which its kind of odd the island hasn't had any windy days for a while). Except Snatcher hates me and decided to strap a bomb to my chest that would blow up in 30 seconds if I didn't grab a code, it even started up doing my arrival pose! I thought those bombs were props for the Birds that were feeling suicidal, how did a ghost that never leaves his forest get one?"

(Encore! Encore!): "I am NEVER going to get tired of pulverizing this guy, I normally HATE Snatcher, but this time I'm going to have to make an exception since I got to kill the Mafia Boss again. Sure he was playing it a bit safer, mixed up his attacks better and kept dropping sandbags, but if I beat him once I could beat him again, this time I put what was left of him into a smaller jar >:3."

(Security Breach): "What do you know, the birds actually beefed up security since the last time I was here. More patrols, more security cameras, and whoever supplied Grooves with those fireworks installed them backstage to blow up intruders (I'm going to kill that guy when I find him...). Also, I never noticed this before, but aren't owls supposed to have good eyesight? The ones on guard patrol barely noticed me if they caught a quick glimpse, maybe the Conductor is just working them too hard."

(The Great Big Hootenanny): "50 Owls... 50 OWLS!!! How did Grooves even afford to hire that many!? I'll give him this much, the music they were playing was top notch, but, wow... I am never volunteering to be a Band Marshal ever again. Ok, MAYBE, if I actually get paid next time."

(10 second until self-destruct): "Ok, no, NOW Snatcher is ramping up the contracts to unfair trash! I know I wear red and all but do I look like the Flash to that psycho!? My lungs felt like someone after eating the Mafia's horrible cooking, burning and begging for everything to end. At the very least I can check "Cardio" off my exercise list for the next 3 weeks..."

(Killing Two Birds): "Oh sure... the birds get to tag team me along with all that other amped up junk Snatcher gave them but I can't call in Hat Kid to even the odds? I'm not sure if this is saying that Snatcher REALLY wants me dead by now or Hat Kid is confident in my abilities. Maybe it's both? Too bad the Conductor and Grooves can work together about as well as oil and water, they were too busy trying to one-up each other rather than trying to beat me."

(Quallity Time with Snatcher): "Oh perfect... a Contract where I can't fight back against the guy trying to kill me. Thankfully Hat Kid is a pretty strong negotiator and convinced Snatcher to make it so if I lasted at least 2 minutes he couldn't take my soul. Hard to believe I actually thought she was a bad guy way back then, guess it's true what they say about power corrupting people."

(Breaching the Contract): "That's more like it! I actually got to give that sod a piece of my mind for making me go through this tedious grind of ridiculous contracts because he STILL won't leave us alone! What is this guy's problem anyway!? He wanted us to leave Subcon Forest and never come back after Hat Kid and I beat him up the first time, why the sudden obsession with our souls?"

(Bird Sanctuary): "There's a Sanctuary for crows? Why? They're EVERYWHERE on this planet, why did I suddenly have to leave them alone or I'd die!? Ugh... whatever, those birds were slow anyway, a brisk walking pace was more then enough to get by. For something called a "Death Wish" it didn't feel very life-threatening."

(Wound-up Windmill): "Well this seemed like a cheap way to give me a challenge, take the old windmill and throw it into maximum overdrive. Yeah, some of the platforms flew off because of the speed, but otherwise it was the same place but faster. I thought Snatcher was trying to kill me with these contracts? Is it like what happened with that whole "Mail Delivery" contract where he ran out of ideas and just gave me the first job that popped into his head? Man I hope so..."

(The Mustache Gauntlet): "Oh, he had to bring THIS up... seriously, you let a little bit of power go to your head and NOBODY will let you live it down. If there's any upside to having to relive that little screw-up, its that I was actually taking out (Mostly) Bad guys instead of sitting on a pile treasure "assuming" everyone is bad. Don't get too comfortable Snatcher, I'm almost at the end of this game of yours."

(No More Bad Guys): "REALLY!!?? He had to bring THIS up too!? Can't a girl just make 1 mistake in her life without it constantly coming back to bite her!? Although... I'm certain Snatcher can't actually reverse time, that was probably just a clone or something since he HAD to include this incident, but couldn't actually make it happen without Time Pieces or Magic, and lord knows we'll never give him a Time Piece. If I went crazy with power because of those things, who knows what he would do with them."

(Cruising for a Bruising): "That's it! I'm never saying yes to another Double Shift on this Cruise! With the amount of stuff the Captain expected me to do, he may as well have asked me to run a marathon around the entire planet! 20 tasks is already a bit much given how big the ship is but 40!? I've already said this before, but is the fact I'm wearing Red making people think I can run faster than Time!? Either the Captain found out about Time's End, or the Seals are just THAT incompetent at doing their job."

(Boss Rush): "Oh that's nice... let's have every "Bad Guy" I've ever met try to kill me one after the other, including myself, are you trying to tell me something here Snatcher? Because I'm pretty certain that ONLY bad guys died during Time's End, my hands are technically still clean, I can't say the same for the literal mountain of bodies behind you. You better not go back on your word you ghostly sod, I only have one more Contract to go before I beat you again."

(Seal the Deal): "It's over! It's Finally over! I never have to deal with this sod again!!! I had a feeling that ghostly jerk was leaving his hardest contract for last, facing every amped-up version of my past enemies, and my clone... and then facing the contractor himself, who was so desperate to kill me this time that he threw in moves the others were using to try and throw me off. But it didn't matter, I WON! We made a deal Snatcher and I followed through, so grab your candles, grab your book, and GET. LOST!!!"


NYAKUZA METRO.

(Main Station): "Now THIS place is a weird one, a ton of Cats hanging out underground? Do they have homes somewhere down there that I just don't know about or do they just constantly wander the place and sleep wherever? Also, I need someone to explain the GIANT CATS pulling the trains! How!? I need answers universe! Oh... and I got "enlisted" into the Nyakuza because I took a Time Piece from one of their gang members, *sigh*, it never ends does it..."

(Yellow Overpass Station): "Right off the bat I could tell the Nyakuza are WAY more efficient at what they do then the Mafia ever wished they could be, for one, their Leader, the Empress, sends chills down my spine everytime she so much as looks in my direction... as much as I'd love to just make off with the Time Pieces as soon as I get them, I rather like being able to Walk, until I can think of something I might as well play nice. I also realized pretty fast that I skipped Lunch today, and the smell from the Food Trucks was driving me nuts, so I thought I'd order something and OH MY GOSH THE FOOD HERE IS AMAZING!!! I ordered some Soup Dumplings and a Cup of Tea, I think its called "Yum Cha" for whatever reason and Whoo... I think I just found a use for all the Pons I've been saving."

(Green Clean Manhole): "How can an underground Metro have a Sewer? Was that even a sewer though? It was really clean and there were even Shops and stuff down there... I'm getting dizzy... anyways! That Time Piece made 3, still have no idea how I'm going to get them back though... maybe if I knew where the Empress keeps them. I also ordered some food again, thought I'd keep it simple, just a Hamburger and a Soda, the Burger was nice, I mean, its REALLY hard to make a Burger bad. But for the Soda... YUCK! I remembered a little too late that I hate soda, too much Carbonation and they NEVER taste good, maybe next time I'll sneak something else over for a drink and just take the cup..."

(Green Clean Station): "This Piece was kind of an easy one to get, and out of everything I've done up to this point that's saying a lot. Though I'm kind of curious... how do the Cats get up to some of these Places? I know cats are supposed to be good jumpers but I haven't seen 1 so much as Hop let alone jump 40 feet in air to reach some of those spots. I tried out some Pizza today and got a "Large Soda", but this time I dumped the stuff when no one was looking and filled the cup with Juice instead, I learned my lesson last time. As for the Nyakuza, I think I finally understand why the Empress is in charge... I walked in on her uh, "Dealing With" a member that touched one of her jewels, he's dead... Ok, I DID have a plan before, but now I'm going back to the drawing board, Step 1: Do NOT get caught stealing the Time Pieces back. Step 2: Hide under Hat Kid's Bed again until the anxiety goes away..."

(Bluefin Tunnels): "*sigh* Go figure, somehow, someway, one of the Time Pieces both made it even further underground in a place that's already underground AND shattered into shards, because apparently even the universe hates me now. At least the pieces were all in one place this time rather then somehow getting scattered all over a giant ship. By this point I've just decided I'm going to get food from the Metro until I get all the Time Pieces back, this time I got a Dessert, Cake and Juice, and it ended up tasting really good, I mean, duh, its Cake, but who knew it worked so well with a Juice Box?"

(Pink Paw Station): "Alright, who's the brainlet who thought it was a bright idea to make the ONLY way to get into this station without the Pink pass an air duct that's blocked by both a Yellow Pass door and a Blue Pass door!? Ugh, whatever! Dumb Cats will be dumb, their problem, not mine. At least their food is constantly delicious, I thought I'd try something I've never had before, some Katsu (heh) Curry and Rice. Its weird, I didn't think I had a very high tolerance to spicy foods, but that Curry didn't taste spicy at all to me, hmm... I wonder if the Mafia can handle spicy food. >:3"

(Yellow Overpass Manhole): "Don't ask... I somehow overlooked the glowing manhole that was tucked away in a dead end at this Station, I guess I was too busy taking in the sights and eating the delicious meals at the food trucks to notice. Kind of weird too, that manhole in particular was pretty small compared to the rest of the Metro, even the cramped Bluefin Tunnels were larger overall. Back to food though, I actually remembered to eat Lunch this time so I just got a little snack, Cookies (A Classic) and Coffee (Decaf, I don't need caffeine to stay awake). I'm running out of Metro to explore so I'm willing to bet there's only 1 Time Piece left to find, and then I'm going to have to find a way to steal them all back with my kneecaps intact..."

(Pink Paw Manhole): "I think I stumbled into the Metro's main power grid, there were a ton of weird Blue Pons that acted like some kind of Mobile Battery and the Cats were even using a Time Piece to power the whole place. "At least they were using it correctly" said Hat Kid when I told her about it, honestly I still don't get that, why make an all powerful object that can alter Time if you're just going to use it as a Sand filled Battery? Ok, that was the last Time Piece in the Metro, all that's left now is to find a way to take them all back from the Empress... I'm going to die aren't I?"

(Rush Hour): "OH MY GOSH!!! My life was flashing in front my eyes, could I have cut it any closer with that crazy Cat Lady!? The entire sodding Metro was after me! Thankfully karma decided to throw me a bone for once and the Cops showed up, the Empress had to bail out of there in a hurry if she didn't want her operations to be found out, one of her undercover agents didn't even know I defected and I made out with a 9th Time Piece too! And the Best part about this incident, I managed to smuggle a TON of Food back to the ship, our veins are probably going to slam shut but whatever, its tasty!"



MOD LEVELS.

(Snatcher's Candy Scavenger Hunt): "My Grandpa always said never to eat too much candy after Trick or Treating or "The stuff of Nightmares" would happen, I honestly thought that was just a warning that I'd get sick. Not that my dreams would become a swirling torrent of Terror! I'm never going to be able to sleep again... Never again... Never again... (it repeats for the next 4 pages)"

(Operation: CBI): "What do you know, the Crows DO have a home on this Planet, and of course its in the middle of dreary Rain Forest. They thought they could use the Time Piece to keep the place powered and the sods even used it to lure me into a trap. I hope Hat Kid doesn't mind that I had to use some time power to get out of there... note to self, wear either Blue or Black the next I decide to sneak into a place..."
(Writer's Note: "CBI" means "Caw Base Infiltration.)

(Dungeon of the Eagle): "Aw man! I just had the greatest dream where I was running around a dungeon that was straight out of a video game! I got to slay evil skeletons, a giant dragon and even an almighty Pig Sorcerer before getting the, what was it called... the Triumph Forks??? It was awesome! But I think the Evil Pig might have needed a pair of glasses, he somehow mistook me for Hat Kid. (Also, who the heck is Saria?)"

("Hat Kid" Steals the DOI): "The Conductor wanted me to help him out with another Film today, something about stealing a... Decla-whatever of Independence, kind of surprised he asked me to do this instead of Hat Kid, but once I found out there was a LOT of dialogue, I understood, Hat Kid isn't exactly "chatty". I'm honestly kind of surprised by how it turned out, it was so self-aware it was crazy, am I right random person reading my stuff? Anyway... This time I made sure I got paid for this gig, no way I'm risking my neck for someone's films for free after last time."

(Operation Re-Rail): "The Conductor called me in for "Hero Work" today, apparently somebody stole his Train in order to get the insane amount of Treasure he had (Also, is it just me or does the layout of that train change every time I go on board?), his reward for the job was another Time Piece so how could I say no? Once I got to the metro, I found out it was the Nyakuza that were behind the theft, and the Empress sure as heck remembered me from that time I stole back the Time Pieces she forced me to collect and MAN was it cathartic to see her get taken away by bird authorities. I'm willing to call that closure, and if the Conductor's attitude towards me was any hint, all is forgiven from Time's End, Asking me to do another movie with him was a hint he was warming up to me again, this was the confirmation that we're pals now. Hat Kid's still my bestie though."

(Nyakuza Drift): "Out of everything I've ever done for the Empress and her gang... this is probably the ONLY "good" thing I've helped them out with. First and Foremost, the Empress didn't skin me alive like I thought she would when we ran into each other again, instead we agreed to the uneasiest truce I've ever made in order to run the Mafia out of the Metro. Oh, and by "Run out", I meant, "Blow them to kingdom come with a Rocket Launcher". I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grinning like a maniac by the end of it, because I got to mess with the Mafia again, and because I got out of there with both a Time Piece and my knee caps intact."



THE BREATHING SEA. (Yep, It took 2 years but I'm finally doing this.)

(Awakening): "Figures... you do one VERY morally questionable thing in your life and the universe will never let you live it down it seems. Hat Kid invites me onto her Dad's boat for a little vacation cruise and the next thing I know, something hits me in the back of the head, I'm floating away in the water and I wake up on the shore of some mysterious island where I somehow can't swim anymore. For some reason the Mafia were there as well, and even the Conductor, who offered me a ride to the main town of this place, where there was even an Time Piece of all things. How many of those did Hat Kid lose anyway? They're everywhere on this planet, even the middle of scenic nowhere has them lying around."

(The Water Dash): "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I might have to make an exception for once regarding the Mafia, because one of their actually nice members just did me the biggest solid possible. After getting him a couple of water orbs, he gave me the power to breath and run around underwater, and even do this AWESOME Water Dash! Oh yeah, and he said he could possibly rewind time to the point where I got knocked into the water in the first place If i can find enough Time Pieces for him. Speaking from experience, I'm a bit skeptical if he can actually do that without breaking reality, but Its not like I've got any other options right now, besides, this place actually seems really pretty now that I'm not being warped back onto land every time I stick a foot in the water."

(Shape-Shifting Hide and Seek): "Huh... this one was actually pretty easy to get. I just played a game of Hide and Seek with a weird blob guy who could turn into anything, compared to all the other jumping, fighting and otherwise dangerous and life-threatening stunts I've had to go through for a lot of these Time Pieces, this was a welcome break. Just wait for everything else to be brutal..."

(Purple Ember Forest): "No! NO!!! I Beat Him! TWICE!!! Was actually completing all of his Death Wishes not enough for that sodding ghost!? I've gotta be cursed or something, Whatever... more contracts, more busy work, it was the same deal as the last 43 times. At least he finally realized how that was going to go down and I walked out of there with the Time Piece without a fight. Now If I ever have to put up with Snatcher again, I'm going to shave my mustache."

(The Old Tower): "Its moments like this place along with the Alpine that I'm REALLY thankful that I don't have a fear of heights, whoever made that sprawling tower of Wood either had a chat with that mafia wizard or just straight up had wings because it pushed my ability to use the Water Dash quite a bit, but once I reached the top I was met with a Time Piece and one Heck of a view of the sea below. This entire community out in the Ocean is honestly pretty beautiful, but Hat Kid's probably worried sick about me, and I've got a Home that I want to go back to. Huh, so this was how she felt..."

(A Stroll in the Sky): "What do you know, I talk about a place that was really high up and the next thing I know I'm walking around in the clouds, and can I just say that it is FREEZING up there! Sometimes I regret my choice to wear a coat and hood everywhere, but this time, I'm really thankful, I don't think Hat Kid would ever let me live it down if I managed to catch a cold despite all the awesome things I've done." (There's a little sentence in the corner) "Time's End doesn't count!"

(King Joffery's Sand Castle): "*sigh* Why is it that whenever I run into royalty they're either nightmarish monsters, self-obsessed creeps, or both? Out of everything I've ever done for the people of this planet, playing with a childish "King" Crab that kept calling me his Queen just for a Time Piece has definitely topped my "WHY???" List. For Peck's sake... If Hat Kid's Dad ends up being the King of the Cosmos or something he better not be as nutty as every other ruler I've met so far."

(Dweller's Comfy Home): "Ok... deep breaths... just try to forget about the endless... empty void... with voices talking in my head again... I didn't think I'd actually find a place as bizarre and unnerving as the Twilight Bell dimension, but somehow I stumbled into it. I get it universe, you still hate me, but I've gone through enough of this nonsense that I'm not going to tempt fate again, my luck is already lousy enough as it is."

(Cursed Ice Globe: Frost Fire Cake): "Once again, thank you Hood, for as much as it sucks to be wearing it in the heat, I will never have to worry about freezing in these unnaturally cold places. This "Eden" place was right in the middle of a frozen globe of rock and I was enlisted by this science owl to help get the power back up by doing what I do best, same old same old. Stop one was a- blue Fire cake? Hmmm... why did it look so familiar? Eh, doesn't matter it was a piece of cake anyways."

(Cursed Ice Globe: Crystal Lake.): "Wow! Those Purple Flowers might still be pretty dangerous, but those floating plants along with the shining water just looked breathtaking! The signs also said the water was "Crystal Cold", which I just took as, "If I fell in, my Hood, and my skin would turn Blue, and freeze." So just another day in the life of a Hero eh?"

(Cursed Ice Globe: Mushroom Forest.): "Ugh... my head... what the heck was in that candy I ate...? Yeah, it might have been a bad idea, but I hadn't eaten in a while, it was a dead end and it was just, right there. Next thing I know, everything's upside down, my ears wouldn't stop ringing and I swear I was seeing T-posing Hat Kids. At the end of that, trip, We got all the power restored to the city and I walked out of the icy city with a Time Piece for my troubles. But note to self, don't ever eat something that looks like a mushroom again."

(Ominous Darkness.): "Common sense be buggered... I had to jump into what felt like a bottomless trench to find the next Time Pieces. I can already say with confidence, that I am NOT the biggest fan of the dark, and it really doesn't help when it feels like there's actually nothing else around you. It was mercifully short though, I was back out of there almost as soon I fell in, though I have noticed that a few of the places I've visited so far have been taking away my Water powers, and the Mafia have been talking about some mysterious force around these parts... Whatever it is, I have a feeling I'm going to meet it eventually. I've been through enough by now to know that likely isn't a myth."

(The Racing Turtle): "Sheesh! Talk about a sore loser! Well, kind of, this so called "Fastest Turtle Alive" really wanted to prove he could beat me in a race no matter what, and promptly got his flippers handed to him by yours truly, three times. In fact, he was so beaten up about it that he actually wanted me to "finish him" after he lost. Needless to say... I didn't take him up on that, firstly, it was stupid, and secondly, it wouldn't have been heroic at all. But that little show of mercy also made him lighten up on the whole racing shtick and he even became a friend. Hmmm... I wonder how far away this sea is from my Island? He'd probably like to visit sometime once I kick the Mafia out."

(Wonders of the Ocean.): "Oh hecking peck, why did that creepy "king" Joffery have to be there... thank what little mercy the universe has for me that he didn't book a seat where the Conductor and I ended up, oh yeah... the Conductor invited me to see a seahorse concert, except the seahorses ended up being short a member and I decided to volunteer to be the band leader. I mean, I did legally serve as a band marshal for one of DJ Grooves' so it seemed like a good idea, especially since they DIDN'T shoot missiles at me, still not letting that go Grooves..."

(Kermit's House): "A Giant House, somehow fitting inside a rather small looking shell? Eh, I've seen even smaller swirly orbs that have bigger worlds inside them. There were two Time Pieces hidden in here for some reason, the first was inside a "Rival" Crabs house with blind guards so, easy. And the 2nd was inside Kermit's Club, which I just had to prove I was cool enough to enter, so even easier! Counting all those Time Rifts I've done, there's only one more Piece left, or maybe Pieces left, and I've got a pretty good idea where they are..."


(The Watcher's Curse): "I feel I can now now safely add, "Demon Slayer" to my list of heroics now, whatever that "Watcher" thing was supposed to be, it had more then its fair share of Time Pieces all stockpiled in its dimension, given what "I" did with that many way back when, I REALLY wasn't about to let some ancient evil have free reign with the power of time and boy did it pull out all the stops to try and keep me from taking them. I probably just saved not only my planet, but possibly entire galaxies from some primordial demon, and apart from Hat Kid, nobody else is probably going to believe me. And I did it without expecting any sort of reward for the most part, and I can't help but feel really happy about it all. Hey Hat Kid, If you're reading this, would you say I became a Real Hero?"


(The End): "Well... its actually been pretty fun, getting to see a new part of the world, meeting new people, I'm going to miss that place honestly. But... I had some well needed vacation time to catch up on, a best bud that took time out of her adventures to hang out with me, and a little island that I call home waiting to be cleaned up waiting for me across the sea. However, I know that place wasn't some weird dream, its still out there somewhere and maybe after I've cleaned up Mafia Town, and made it a better place again, I might find it again some day."