Doctor Gordon Freeman is a ♥♥♥♥♥ ass ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. He pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ co-workers. That’s right, he took his human ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ iron crowbar out and he pissed on my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ co-workers, and he said his crowbar was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Dr. Gordon Freeman , you got a small crowbar, it’s the size of this bullet except WAY smaller. And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: (blowing up noises) That’s right baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two buildings and a Citadel! He ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my co-workers so guess what, I’m gonna ♥♥♥♥ THE MOON. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER COMBINE ARMY! Except I’m not gonna call the army on the Moon, I’m gonna go higher. I’m calling the army oN THE EARTH! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA?! I'm ATTACKING THE EARTH, YOU IDIOT!

You have 24 hours before I destroy the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Earth. Now get the ♥♥♥♥ out of here!

Sincerely, G-Man.