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The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth

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The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth >  Workshop > CircusQueen's Workshop > Trans Brimstone > Discussions
Trans Brimstone
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moseni 30 Mar, 2023 @ 1:37pm
Sneed's Establishment for Agricultural Supplies, formerly known as the Chuck's Agricultural Market Place for such Seeds.
CHUCK: Well, well, well, behold the arrival of the urbanite in his ostentatious German automobile!
HOMER: Kindly allow me to correct you, sir. This conveyance was manufactured in Guatemala.
SNEED: Please excuse our presumptuousness, Mr. High Fashion with your Gucci shoes.
HOMER: I must confess that I procured these boots from a wandering vagrant.
CHUCK: Indubitably, Mr. Finicky Manhattanite.
HOMER: I beg your pardon, sir, but personal grooming is of utmost importance.

[Homer enters Sneed's Emporium of Agricultural Provisions.]

OLD MAN SNEED: I daresay that you will not be able to cultivate anything on the Simpson property. This is the reason why your father forsook it.
HOMER: I must inquire, what is your knowledge on this subject?
OLD MAN SNEED: I am well-informed that your soil's pH level is currently at a sky-high 9.6, while the optimal level is 7 to 8 at best.
HOMER: I'm afraid I cannot agree with you on this matter, as it seems to me mere superstition.

[Homer begins to scoop what is presumed to be seeds]

HOMER: Just observe, I shall successfully nurture something out there!
OLD MAN SNEED: I must respectfully disagree, sir, especially if you are planting gummy bears.

[The revelation that Homer is scooping gummy bears]

HOMER: Oh, no!

[Homer proceeds to pour the gummy bears into his mouth and starts to chew]
[End scene]
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Uma Jan 31 Mar, 2023 @ 3:55pm 
I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!
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moseni 31 Mar, 2023 @ 5:25pm 
Verily, I say unto thee, this matter is of utmost gravity! The numbers were not simply interchanged, but outright swapped by the miscreant! How dare he suggest that I, a person of sound mind and intellect, could make such an egregious error! I would never! Nay, I could never make such a blunder! Alas, I was unable to substantiate my claims, as the culprit went to great lengths to conceal his misdeeds, even enlisting the help of a witless pawn from the copy shop to perpetuate his falsehoods! But this chicanery pales in comparison to his other nefarious deeds! Remember the billboard fiasco? It was not mere happenstance that caused that man to fall in such a manner, it was a meticulously orchestrated plot! Jimmy, oh Jimmy, that very same individual once defecated through a sunroof, and I, in my folly, came to his aid! I even extended the hand of friendship and invited him into my own firm! What utter madness was I thinking? He will never change! Since the age of nine, he has been the same - always with his grubby little fingers in the cash drawer, stealing with impunity! And yet, fate has conspired to make him a lawyer! What a mockery of justice! I should have put a stop to him when I had the chance, but alas, I did not! And now, I implore you, my dear friend, to stop this scoundrel before he causes any more harm!
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