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Right now same sex marriage isn't possible with this mod to my knowledge. I looked into adjusting the marriage system at one point, and it's unfortunately a bit beyond my ability. The female NPC Lords just throw error messages right now when they attempt to court ladies (this is very apparent in the Diplomacy version as it causes an obvious error message and can mean further problems with the two characters involved later on).
Overall the whole marriage/courtship has a variety of different checks, some of which are related to the tf_female flag, others are related to the unit's position in the troops file, etc. The basic problem is that the game was written for only male Lords, (other than your character) and only female Ladies, to marry. Changing that is one of those things that appears simple on the surface, but unfortunately proves to be more of a convoluted mess once you get down into the code, and the assumptions it makes. :(