Если есть такое желание — пожалуйста.

So, take this:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1artaSTuAjPB1zCs2akIVlzmhiX2KM2ZbkQNnXtGSo2E/edit?usp=sharing

And here's first route with full translation: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qNf1yvvsh6NG2b_KgLPO0aOAp8TEBkSQA1a3tZAq73g/edit?usp=sharing

So what do you want me to do just translate it then send it to you in English or what?

PAGE 1 on your text:
I have no heart ... All that remained of him countless millions of fragments, still pulsing this endless pain. How much has me enough? It is impossible to understand. You cannot forgive yourself ...



In temples furiously knocks. I have long been spit on themselves, to spit on everything that happens to me. My body and mind alive, still grabs for life ... The soul is already dead.


All floating away somewhere ... I wonder, what's next? Although what's the difference? This is just pure curiosity.

Ignore that. I messed it up. This is the actual PAGE 1:
I have no heart ... All that remained of him countless millions of fragments, still pulsing this endless pain. How much has me enough? It is impossible to understand. You cannot forgive yourself ...



In temples furiously knocks. I have long been spit on themselves, to spit on everything that happens to me. My body and mind alive, still grabs for life ... The soul is already dead.



All floating away somewhere ... I wonder, what's next? Although what's the difference? This is just pure curiosity.





again, this dream ... Already that night in a row is one and the same dream. I lie on the grass and look up into the sky. And somehow can't imagine something to forgive ... In an instant, as if something was broken in me. What happened there? Why so did not want to live in?



When all desired-memories did not want to succumb to ... Very often, a man not given to remember even the dream ended just a couple of minutes ago. As what ended my amazing journey in the camp ...



Maybe it was a dream? So long, real, colorful ... Lena ... She was there with me, it was real, I'm sure. There, then, with her ... Where I was, I don't remember ... Remember only how feelings blossom and become ... Really feelings. Real as never before. In my life before that, I don't remember such moments. And here ... No, I refuse to believe that this is just a dream or ... This stupid question torments me for half a year.



Than everything ended?



And I can't remember. No problem. If all you wish is in memory only clarifies the scraps of one more sleep.



My room. Some weak glow on the table, like a small, Dim, yellow light. Someone kneels at a table and is looking for something. It seems like it's me.



And that's all. I can't remember anything else. But that has not revealed a veil of secrecy at least a millimeter. It's just a dream ...

(PAGE 2)
day after day, week after week, I tried to keep in the heart of the beautiful ŝemâŝee, but warming the soul feeling sensations. Though he has left-I wanted to as long as you keep the memory about him.


And I still remember those great days. The warm days of summer, when Lena and I were really happy. Dream Lee, Providence-whatever, I'm still eternally grateful to the person who (or what) gave me this unforgettable journey in a short week.



But gradually closed, vanities daily fill my life again and again. Again Internet, gray again imidzhbordy reality becomes the basis of my existence.



And every day I've been waiting for. Waiting for any news, mark. Waiting for that wonderful story no-no, Yes and continue. But nothing ... And every day I became clearer-I lost it.





It's all been confused in my soul incomprehensible clot feelings. Strange euphoria mixed with expectation, a hope for continued-with knowledge of the end.



At some point I so clearly wanted to change something in your life. To do anything useful, enjoyable-perhaps creativity? And again stumbling on lack of skills and perseverance. Music, drawing is not given. Write quickly bored. But 24-hour study of the Internet finally prielos′-every day I have less and less time spent at the monitor. As if someone invisible whenever he tried to discourage me, make to get down to business.



And I very quickly began to realize that we need to try to take a step forward. Somehow, but step. But how? Socialize me almost nobody-for all this time I have lost all the friends, what they may be. And thoughts about love no Leslie in the head-I still felt that my heart belongs to Lene. In the head again and again sounds like the phrase, once told me: I'll love you all my life!

(PAGE 3)
I remember, as saying. Remember the even intonation and me whenever trembling as though at the moment I am struggling restrained tears. But now I cannot even imagine, which is why I was so sad. Parting? Most likely. But still ... How can I completely forget what was in the end than all this ended?


The last thing I remember from that until I was in a camp-like fall asleep hugging her. Perhaps it is these memories after so much time warm my soul.





and has infected me the idea of recall everything that I forgot. Obsession first-remember, I fell asleep and woke up. But with each passing minute is a more drawn-out me-now computer has once again become a source of finding a solution to this problem-I got sick spirituality.



In answer to your questions I do not examine several pobrezgoval writings of Freud, joined the creativity of Schopenhauer, Nietzsche. But still the realization came only a little bit, and then I made, in my view, a desperate step-man encroached on Castaneda.



Never would have thought and how literature can change a person. As comprehension of life and death, good and evil deeds and inactivity are turning in the human mind completely literally for some couple of months later.



Somehow, it seemed to me that I take control of those dreams that I have nightmares every night, but they clearly have something I can get to the truth, and finally to remember everything.



If everything was as easy as it sounds. At one point I even wanted to quit, but apparently all the same philosophy has influenced me enough-as soon as I turn around and see how much longer I made for this, and it became just too bad effort. As undying hope that you can still find the answer.





Cool Earth under his back. Black skies in broad crowns of trees overhead.

(PAGE 4)
I'm here again. That's why today I don't feel that. Wait a minute! It is a dream ... And I know that this is a dream! Then what I ...



Learn'd, where is here. The place seems familiar.



A couple of minutes walk along a narrow forest path-I ended up at the square "little OWL". What is the experience this again? I don't even know this is only a ghost forever embedded in my memory. The only thing I can do now is soon wake up. Here, one is unbearable.





everything is exactly the same. The same forever running computer, the same haze outside the window, the same which had become a recent such uncomfortable bed. My old apartment. And why I call it old? Maybe because for one week the camp really ... my home.



And that my attempts to get to the truth? For all this time I approached the unraveling a little more than nothing. The only thing that I have learned is that at least barely learned to manage it. Not more, but seems a little practice-and I come close to that door. And will only and only-insert key Yes turn.



But the most unpleasant is a horrible feeling. Five days to sleep four hours, wake up and fall asleep again on the hour-another-all symptoms of sleep deprivation on the face, from a headache to pain in the eyes. Even a little bit, and my experiments on an end in tears.

Unable to hold his body even while seated, I wearily on the bed collapsed trying to then do something again to understand, or simply disconnect as quickly as possible.



But sleep won't come all, compulsive feeling as if he forgot something very important has nothing to go out of your head.



What day is today at all?



Raking will fist, I got to the computer. Tomorrow is the anniversary. Tomorrow will be exactly a year since I went to a meeting of graduates, but came in a totally different place.

And now ...


Thoughts drowned in the white noise of emptiness had collapsed on the bed, not able to resist the terrible exhaustion, I literally in a moment fell into sleep.

(PAGE 5)
FIRST DAY Of Silence. Void. Am I able to? Is it really all that terzalo me when thawed? But ... where am I? And that I'm here at all? ...



Only a thin silhouette. Only a momentary vision, from which the skin run goosebumps ... The Area Of The "Little Owl". Where am I here? And who sits. This bench?



Intercepted breath. On the bench, a couple of meters from me-Lena. I have so many days have not seen her. Does she remember me?



Approach? Got something to say? But it is so scary ...



So worry. Once again approach the person with whom he talked so long. Which is so loved.



What she has to say? Learns whether it me? Loved everything else?


How weird I feel is feelings ... Like have been blunted. It is unpleasant. As something very unpleasant.



Okay, was was not!



Simon: "Hi Lena."



Is silent. I quietly sit down next.



Reads all the same book.



Simon: "gone with the wind? A good book. "



Lena: "Yup."



I looked to the text. Whether so dark, whether ... I can't read a Word. And this ... dream?!



Cap! On page blur blurry spot.

Now that i read it over again, none of that seems correct. I will show my friend and see is all that is English words.

I will fix it.

Ok. It is fine. Im going to keep going.

(PAGE 6)
Lena turned her head to me. In her beautiful eyes-tears. Book gently laid on the bench between us.



Lena: "wherefore art thou so to me? Is this I gained? "

She sobbed. I gently took her by the hand.



Simon: "Lena, you what?!"



In the next moment, having escaped, Lena bounced from me on a couple of steps.



Lena: "don't touch me! Heartless bastard! How could I do this? "



And, zahlëbyvaâs′ tears, rushed to escape from me.



Simon: ' Whoa! Stoy, Lena! "



But it was already too late. She ran away from me. Somewhere in the distance a subdued were hooting owls. Hands down themselves. Another futile attempt.





and this room again. Already one of her kind introduces me in utter frustration. I can already see Lena ... And still is as far from a simple solution. What happened to us then? And why she ran away from me?



Silûs′ remember naprâgaû, seemingly all the brains in your head, but nothing. Only recently having nightmares dreams scraps Yes any footage from the last six months of life. Yes there that footage is literally a slideshow about my existence after returning here. Multiple images-enough these scenes are absolutely fully repeated day after day. Bed-kitchen-bathroom-monitor-window-entrance-shop-again kitchen-room-bed. I no longer live, simply exist. But why?



Simon: "I just wanted to know what it was. And that's all. "



I whispered in the dark bathrooms. The answer, of course, was not followed. It's probably just as well-at least I haven't čudâtsâ to vote.


I sat down at a table, trying not to pay attention to the dazzling white light shone directly into my eyes. What I find there? Absolutely nothing. On the table any blockage, a conglomeration of various small things. And some souvenir.

(PAGE 7)
Sovënok. Irony of fate-so perhaps you can describe. The first time I see it here.



A small figurine of a turquoise color. Cold, heavy-not plastic. By color reminiscent of jade, gem. Especially his valued in China. Why I remembered? I do not know.


I povertel the little OWL in the hands. Nothing unusual, just he again evoked nostalgia, desire to go back to what was literally in my hands and so gracefully vyskol′znulo of them, that I didn't even notice the loss.



Simon: "tell me where she is?"



I asked, looking him in the eye. In the light of the monitor thought he slyly grins his little beak, looking right at me. The play of light, not more.



Simon: "and you know nothing."



Frustrated, I put it back in place. Sovënok hurt klacnul on solid ground.



I returned to my bed. Nothing like. Absolutely nothing, I wanted to just stop worrying about everything, forget, but it is impossible, I understand it.

And even sometimes words just can't describe what is happening to the soul. Or vice versa ...



I reached down, picked up the little OWL from the table. Somehow from one of his as I was getting a little easier on the soul. Though not everything is lost, though still ahead.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed fist with sovënkom to his chest and closed my eyes.





for a moment I bathed and dryoma consciousness went the distance. But anyway, everything returns to normal. And I wake up again.


How did the whole body hurts. Sleep deprivation, all these sleepless nights feel like never preskvernejšim way. And now this Moroke added and some strange feelings of anxiety.

This Importunate thought so easily transforming into paranoia, be itching, tapping into the brain, yielding the Pacific pulse on the wrist of the mind. Blow by blow-"something wrong", "something is absolutely wrong." That's just sheer apathy took the desire to try to