Wow, what can I say? This is a blessed day for me. Finally. FINALLY! I can be the Mercenary King that I have so always yearned for. My famous ancestor, Enrique de Amante-Cavalo was perhaps the worlds most legendary Mercenary King. He was the leader of the infamous Company de Membro Pequeno from 1066-1134. He was known for his strength of hands, skill at arms and tongue with ladies; many skills my family members still enjoy to this very day.

But first a little about me. I was born Criança-Feia de Moreno on the 15th March 1956. Exactly 2000 years to the day, that Gaius Julius Caesar was brutally murdered by the republican dogs in the days of Ancient Rome. My mother, the local village wisewoman, knew this to be an auspicious sign. For she was descended from the greatest of Mercenary Kings that I have thus mentioned, Enrique de Amante-Cavalo, leader of the infamous Company de Membero Pequeno.

On the day of my birth, in the small hamlet of Chiqueiro, the entire village feasted on venison. For you see God had saw fit to hail my birth, not with a glowing star as with his first son, but the slaughter of many cervo (or deer, for those unfamiliar with my tongue). The hunters of my village, Chiqueiro, came upon a great herd of these cervo. And they brutally massacred every single one. Not with the use of modern firearms, but with their bare hands (for firearms did not come to Chiquerio until 1984). The chief perpetrator of this glorious and bloody massacre my mine own father, Grandebarba de Moreno.

Now my father was not a man of humble birth by any means, and in life he was greater than all (except perhaps yours truly). For you see he too was descended from that great Mercenary King, Enrique de Amante-Cavalo, leader of the infamous Company de Membero Pequeno, Lord of o Anel and slayer of many Frenchmen. As you may have just now noticed, I draw from the blood of that great Mercenary King from both mine own father AND mother's bloodlines. And in truth, I must admit (for I am not a man to hide his wounds before a friend or foe) my father and mother were siblings.

But that intricacy is ultimately benign to the significance of the purity of my bloodline. It is known that from that great genetic pool I draw from the bloodstock of Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Rasputin, Cicero, Timur the Great, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Chaka Zulu, Florence Nightingale, Napoleon Bonaparte, Cleopatra,The Great Elector, Qin Shi Huangdi, Benedict Arnold, Abraham Lincoln and Gandhi. But most importantly I do hold the blood of that one, Enrique de Amante-Cavalo, leader of the infamous Company de Membero Pequeno, Lord of o Anel, slayer of many Frenchmen, lover of mermaids, King of Atlantis, and inventor of the modern microwave.

So I would not so much say that this destiny was bequeathed to me gently, but rather thrust upon me, as a duck would make love to another, less willing duck. But I did not bend before that great abyss that is my destiny. For years I waited, training, learning, preparing.

I have read every strategy book ever written. I am literate in twenty-six styles of rapier use. And I have dedicated years of my life, honing my tactics in your grand strategy games. I have even acquired for myself a gsgf (Grand Strategy Girl Friend), but despite her ambitious advances we are yet to copulate. For to do so would be to flout my own destiny. For the spirit of Caesar is in me, and the blood of the Mercenary King.

I came across Crusader Kings 2 in 1996, the day that my first son was born. I was crushed to find that the dastardly Swede, Johan Andersson had purposely refused to implement the playability of mercenaries in his titular game. Of course Johan the Black has always been a great enemy of mine (but that is a tale for another day). So I did thus curse him for attempting to delay me upon my path, but he was a fool to believe it would halt me.

I abandoned my wife and newborn son to dedicate my life to being a Crusader King. For I once spoke thus:

"Sometimes I go about in
pity for myself, and all
the while, a great wind
carries me across the sky."

Long ago I understand that the meaning of one's path is not always clear, even to the chosen such as myself. Perchance a great wind was awaiting me.

Little did I know it would be a torrential storm.

For that great gust was the mod, and the wind that blew it was its creator, Ghekz.

Bless.
Bless.
Bless Ghekz.

For so long I have toiled. Sweat, blood, tears, abonded wives and children, etc. It breaks my heart to know that my parents, brother and sister, died not seeing the greatness I would achieve.

But finally my battle with Johan the Black has come to its climax. Now finally I can experience the life of my great ancestor, Enrique de Amante-Cavalo, leader of the infamous Company de Membero Pequeno, Lord of o Anel, slayer of many Frenchmen, lover of mermaids, King of Atlantis, inventor of the modern microwave, discoverer of China and the first man to set foot on Mars. With this mod I may gauge what life was like as a Mercernary King. I can live the life that I have thus far been denied. I give this mod a 5/5.


Bless you always,
Criança-Feia de Moreno