Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

Tsar Platinum
Spade 22 May, 2017 @ 7:16pm
Perfect for the Big Lug
It is said that there was a special corpse piece found in the Gravel Pits of Mann where a special finger was found. Origionally thought to be anerexic kangaroo stool, Redmund and Blutarch Mann ignored the piece Possible proto-poop but someone else saw the potential and knew of its origion. Their hired Administrator did a DNA test on the possible poop and found that it was actualy the body part of a saint from the middle east, that saint in question travled the world, helping those in need, on any problem. He after being crucified witin the Holy Roman Empire and reviving, he travled over the continents, making it to an unknown continent in the far west, despite the fact that he travled east. Eventually he passed away of natural causes, marking the turn of the 1st milenium on any major historc record. His body was eventually scattered due to grave robbers, natural disasters, and geopgraphic phenomena. Evntuall this saint's body was split into a number of parts. A skull, heart, torso, beng the ribcage and pelvis, spine, legs, arms, and his two eyes. During a horce race in the 19th century, the Steel Ball Run, these parts were all asembled. Records become fuzzy within the time period of the race, with the only reports at the time, we're superstitions and something about the Atlantic Ocean opening up like in the story of Moses. Eventually the full body of the saint is moved from America to Japan and back and forth, for what reason, no record shows it. However on a cruise ship coming from America, the corpse was dropped and a piece broke off. The carriers didn't notice it and the piece that broke off was eaten by an eagle which had a baby in its claws. That baby wasn't dead, but Gray Mann. 10 years before Gray Mann's uprising the Gray Mann had fallen ill for a short period of time, defecating a whole bird skeleton. Due to reaction with his stomach acid and his Austrilium injections, his body had rebuilt the skeleton of the bird that had raised him. Most of that skeleton at least. Remembering that a saint's body in general, is preserved at a supernatural level, the piece of the corpse remained stuck preserved, replacing one of the hawk's ribs. Not only was that fraction of the ribcage not having any scratches from the centuries of wear and tear, but turning that hawk into a saint itself. Known as Saint Sesame Street. Saint Sesame Street was moved across the world, restoring christianity for all aviated life. It was a faith filled year. However Saint Sesame was dropped in the south side of Brisbane. There was no visible damage so his body was recovered without issue, but the origional corpse piece fragmented off and through a series of natural whether patterns and geographical phenomenon the finger piece ended up on Mann Co. Property. It was deduced by The Adminstrator that this finger was the body part of the spanish saint known as Pütes Christa (refrenced as Pootis Christ from now on). The Administrator Preserved the finger of Pootis for any possible event that could put Mann Co. in danger. 8-9 years later, she sent the finger of Pootis was sent to a number of specialized cosmetic scientists to put the finger to good use in protecting the mercenaries that she unfortunately had to keep alive. After a minor science civil war, the finger was ground to dust and sewn in with durable thread from Russia, rumored to be made with the mustache of Stalin. It was then developed into the coat we see today.