The only time I've been chased by naked women. I was so scared of them that I close the game. I recommend it 10/10.

* if you enjoy naked cannibals chasing you with a stick this game is for you
* if you enjoy building a house from a tree and creating your own village with a 3 handed lady and a guy with brain damage this game is for you

~ in other words this game is for you, buy it! :) ~

I crashed.
The helicopter’s gone. My team’s dead or screaming.
There are stick people in the trees. One of them has three legs and she's cooler than me.
Welcome to Sons of the Forest, the vacation package from hell.

🪓 Early Game: I Have A Stick And A Dream
Day one: I hit a squirrel with a rock.
Day two: I built a cabin out of logs and shame.
Day three: I watched a pale man in a loincloth drag my friend into a cave and scream like a blender full of wasps.

You will spend your first 10 hours doing three things:

Building a base you swear is temporary.

Chopping wood until your arms scream.

Staring into the darkness wondering if that was a deer or Satan.

🤖 Kelvin: Beautiful Idiot, My Sweet Prince
Kelvin is your AI companion. He’s deaf.
He’s lovable. He has no idea what’s happening.

You can tell him to build a fire. He will build it. On your house.
You can tell him to get logs. He’ll bring you logs. Forever. Until the heat death of the universe.

You will try to protect him.
He will walk directly into cannibal raids like he’s in a yogurt commercial.

If anything happens to Kelvin, I will burn the forest down.

🔪 Combat: The Forest Bites Back
The cannibals are smarter now. They flank. They feint.
They scream at you while you’re pooping behind a bush.

At first you feel bad killing them.
By day 12, you’re wearing their bones as armor and yelling back in fluent growl.

Caves? Oh, you sweet fool.
They're full of eldritch nightmares, grotesque meat puppets, and exactly one flashlight battery that lasts 12 seconds.

Some enemies are... wet.
Others are too fast.
And one of them... crawls like it's tax season and you're the IRS.

🧱 Building: Minecraft With Existential Dread
The building system is next-level.
You don’t place structures—you build them, plank by plank, like a mentally unstable lumberjack with ADHD.

Want a cabin? Great!
Chop a hundred logs.
Lay the foundation.
Realize it’s crooked.
Tear it down.
Get attacked by cannibals halfway through rebuilding it.
Die in your own doorway.

💄 Virginia: The Best 3-Legged Friend You’ll Ever Have
She has three arms. Three legs. She wears a swimsuit in the snow.
She brings you gifts, helps you shoot mutants, and dances like she owns the place.

Protect her. Cherish her.
If she dies, reload the save. I don’t care if it was six hours ago.

🧠 The Plot: Don't Worry, You’ll Get There Eventually
You’re sent to rescue a billionaire.
You find a forest full of flesh creatures and corporate crime scenes.
There are golden cubes, parallel dimensions, and a shotgun buried next to a dead guy in a tuxedo.

At some point, you stop asking “why?” and start asking “how many limbs do I have left?”

📜 Final Survival Notes
Sons of the Forest is what happens when a survival game, a horror movie, and a fever dream share a tent and don’t use protection.
It’s beautiful.
It’s terrifying.
It’s bugged sometimes in a way that makes Kelvin walk into the ocean like he’s returning to the sea.

And I absolutely, unironically, love it.

Final Judgment: 9/10
Would eat another raw arm just to build another crooked log cabin with my beautiful dumb AI friends.
Would cry in a cave again while holding a stun baton and whispering, “It’s just a game. It’s just a game.”