Death Stranding has the most long-winded, overly verbose dialogue I've ever experienced… and I still somehow have no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idea what's going on most of the time.

In all seriousness, I went into this one unsure if I’d enjoy it, but it hooked me almost immediately—just not in the way I expected. All the “Walking / Courier Simulator” memes had me bracing for boredom, but ironically, the long travelling sections turned out to be the best part of the game, and I’m all for it. I just wish the game trusted those moments more instead of constantly interrupting them.

The “slow burn” people always talk about isn’t the gameplay—it’s Kojima being Kojima. Expect cutscenes that feel like short films, and dialogue that really, really wants to make sure you understood the assignment.

“Sam, I don’t think I need to remind you, but that thing you’re carrying is a bomb. If you drop it, it goes kaboom.”
<10 seconds later>
“Sam. Just in case you missed the massive ‘THIS IS A BOMB’ text earlier, as well my previous reminder… Sam. Bomb goes kaboom. Sam.”

This game absolutely does not respect your time. You’ll finally get into a nice flow—40 minutes into a trek—only to be stopped dead so you can stare at a hologram while someone monologues at you for 20 minutes like you’re legally required to listen. Why not talk while I’m walking? I promise I can multitask. I’ve been carrying 100kg of parcels across a haunted wasteland—I think I can handle a bloody podcast.

All that said… I did enjoy it. It’s weird, it’s unique, and it somehow kept me hooked despite itself.

I’ll probably pick up the sequel on a decent sale—once I’ve emotionally recovered from being stopped mid-step for my 47th mandatory podcast and being called “Sam” 300 times in a single delivery.

One More Cutscene Will Fix It, Surely.

poop

Such a weird and crazy game but damn, it’s good. I’m honestly sad I waited so long to play it.
The game is beautiful and relaxing, and the deeper you get into it, the more you’ll keep questioning what’s real and what isn’t.

If you haven’t played it yet and think it’s just a “walking simulator” like many people say, it’s so much more than that. There’s a lot hidden beneath the surface beyond just making deliveries. I’d recommend everyone give it a try—I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did if you stick with it.

9/10