horse

This is for the IRLs who found out I wrote reviews on Steam for craps and funnies.
I should have probably been more cautious of letting them use those for more bullying ammo but it's OK because now I can end off on my game reviews in the best and worst way possible:

Anime horse girls. I have no excuse.

This game is a worse addiction to me than anything else I've ever played in my life and it's not even about the anime girls anymore. The gameplay is literally just Duck Life if it completely drowned itself into gambling. The whole loop is literally just you train your horsegirl on different stats and then watch her run around a circle until she wins or gets blocked by the pack and gets subsequently glued. Now, add gambling to every single aspect of an intricate racing system so you're now both trying to build the optimal woman ever while also praying to whatever god you want to not hit you with 3 mood down events in a row.
There is a pure catharsis in hitting the RNG lottery, where everything clicks and I get to watch my girl's stats rise to oblivion, only to find that when I put her in the PvP lobby she gets quad wiped by some guy who dropped his family inheritance and the child support money into building the horsemen from the Bible. And then I make the trek back to square one, grinding away towards the impossible horsegirl once again. That or I procrastinate and throw up some crappy horses I made in a day and they somehow get me to Grade A Finals.
Also, this isn't even mentioning the fact that most of the funny anime girls are literally based on real-life race horses, down to their personalities and racing careers, which is very fun news for my Tylenol-infused brain. I somehow know more about horses than the current pop music trends, which granted makes sense because pop kinda sucks right now.

All this to say, you cannot bully me out of this one. I have played this daily for 5 months on my phone and I have already steeled my resolve. Also it's got an anime series and the latest one is pretty peak you should watch it sometime(i dont remember what your opinions on anime were i never bothered to ask lol)

You will never figure out my favorite horsegirl.

Umamusume is the best game that god has ever bestowed upon humanity. This is the closest we will ever get to achieving world peace. This game offers good gameplay, good story, good music and replayability. Even with such a large playerbase, Cygames still gives us generous rewards. Umamusume is not just a game, but a work of art, it conveys peoples hopes and feelings, it brings people together, like a thread of fate that links us all. This game transcends horse racing, it teaches us how to live, it teaches us the culture of horse racing, the history of horse racing. The stories, the characters, they all teach us something new, each individual character with their own unique story. A story that you can change, to help them achieve their dream, and also find yours along the way. (i have 200 more hours on mobile)