Hi

>be egg
>egg egg
> the eggnd

I'll go first

Be me
Be at a party with no adults
Be 15 year old beta disguised as alpha
Attempting to attract a m8
Qt 3.14 detected
Okay anon you can do this
Walk over to her
She looks at me and waits for me to say something
fuck.jpg
I spontaneously remembered a meme I was watching a few minitues before
I blurt it out to try and break the tension
"Hey girl mind if I Shifty Shaft my Tilted Towers into your Moisty Mire"
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Turns out she plays fortnite
She thought it was funny
So relived that I almost feel baked
So euphoric that without thinking I say "Oh really, I think fortnite is for THOTS. BEGONE THOT.
Spend the rest of the night locked in my friends bedroom playing VRChat
11/10 would play VRChat again

>be me
>at a birthday party
>bored out of my mind
>scanning around for shit to do
>notices slide owo whats this
>theres this huge fucking slide
>its fucking gigantic
>thatswhatshesaid.png
>i climb it, but before i go down, my dad catches me
>dad tells me that it rained earlier, so there was water at the bottom of the slide
>was wearing moderately nice clothes, so i couldnt just get them wet
>i agree to not go down
>soon as papa is out of sight, i formulate a plan
>I would ride the slide till about 3/4s, then I would grab onto the sides of the slide and navigate my way around the water
>my plan is set
>time to execute it
>I siide down, having the time of my life
>I try to grab on
>"wait, fuck, that's slippery too"
>I cant stop
>im careening down
>braceallsystemsforimpact.not
>my dumbass crashes straight into the water
>miraculously, my shirt got soaking wet, but my pants remained dry
>i look for dad
>he gets angery
>we excuse ourselves from the party temporarily to buy a shirt at a local store


So that's how I ended up wearing an informal Lego shirt to a birthday party.

>Be me
>Be around 10 or 9 years old
>Be really afraid of the dark
>Be in class
>Have to pee
>Go to the toilets for men
>The room where the toilets are had no windows
>The lightswitch doesn't work for some reason
>Fuck.jpg
>Start thinking what to do
>Decide that the best thing was to quickly use the teacher's toilet
>Look around
>There are no teachers in sight
>Open the door to the teacher's toilet
>Out of nowhere a teacher appears behind me and asks me what am I doing
>Killmenow.jpg
>Try to explain him that the lights on the men's toilet don't work
>We go over to the men's toilet
>He turns on the lightswitch
>The light turns on as usual
>Areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg

Originally posted by Sir. Paulord HFGL:

>Be me
>Suck dick
>Be around 10 or 9 years old
>Be really afraid of the dark
>Be in class
>Have to pee
>Go to the toilets for men
>The room where the toilets are had no windows
>The lightswitch doesn't work for some reason
>Fuck.jpg
>Start thinking what to do
>Decide that the best thing was to quickly use the teacher's toilet
>Look around
>There are no teachers in sight
>Open the door to the teacher's toilet
>Out of nowhere a teacher appears behind me and asks me what am I doing
>Killmenow.jpg
>Try to explain him that the lights on the men's toilet don't work
>We go over to the men's toilet
>He turns on the lightswitch
>The light turns on as usual
>Areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg

>be me
>lay down on bed for 2 hours
>lay turns into past tense
>basically gets laid

see ya later, virgins

Originally posted by Doomie™:

>we excuse ourselves from the party temporarily to buy a shit at a local store

Buying shits...

>be me
>live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Pennsylvania
>be really fucking paranoid
>hear creaking sounds from downstairs
>grab a rifle from your closet
>go downstairs to check on everything
>find absolutely nothing
>walk back upstairs
>mom comes through the front door
>mom asks what you're doing
>"making sure there no intruders"
>mom grabs a shotgun from same closet
>ohfuckingshit.PNG
>get shot in face by your own shotgun

anyone play leauge ill smurf on leauge if you help me on cs s1 atm lol, diamond 4 and plat 2 on leauge ;) oce btw

-be me
-in school playing science kahoot
-last place
-some girl, about fourteenish is beating everyone by 2,000 points
-at one point gets a really vague question right
-suspicion.png
-at end, accuse girl of cheating
-she's really confused
-denying it
-i start getting angry
-hulksmash.jpg
-punch girl
-punch goes right into her eye
-floors her instantly
-before i can do anything else, teachers hold me back
-sent to principle
-never allowed to sub at that school again

Originally posted by IDKBacon(ILY Dad):

Originally posted by Doomie™:

>we excuse ourselves from the party temporarily to buy a shit at a local store

Buying shits...

Damn autocorrect.

Be me
Be getting coffee
Girl takes my order
She starts to make my coffee
Finishes preparing my coffee
I take a sip
I just drank liquid that a female produced for me
l8tr virgins

>Be me, in science class
>suddenly an alarm goes off and a teacher comes enters my class completely panicked and say to my teacher: code 99
>my teacher: okay everyone please remain calm and silent, let's go to the storage room
>she seems freaked out
>people start crying
>one girl raises her hand: Teacher, what is happening?
>teacher: there's probably a shooter in the school
>fuk.jpg
>everyone panics
>after an hour and a half of silently waiting, some chad takes his phone out of his pocket
>mfw I realize all the chads start playing fortnite
>mfw I realize that my whole class being shot would probably be good thing for humanity