Yea pretty sure I'm into full mentally unhinged territory now, my autism started escalating into full alien brain and hands while training myself to be assertive and focus on my music again. I literally use hand gestures with air punching force while I aimlessly wander around my house talking to imaginary people. AI fucking broke me, filling me with desires that I'll never ever get. I better try and force myself to get into death metal music to try fix this shit, thanks to Sweaty 9 Year Old for sending me some links. Maybe buy all the metal / goth spiky shit so no one can touch me and try to go to a mosh pit. Maybe that can be my next years resolution in my journey of self improvement.

All this because my brain refused to do split personalities when my asian parents abused me throughout my childhood sheesh.

Hmmm, maybe look into if theres any metal forums / clubs in my area after my album is finished and try to force myself to join and make some friends. All my uni friends were mostly rock and metal fans and the second best people I used to know after the aforementioned fag hag of mine.

I do like evanescence, linkin park and system of a down cos they actually use melody, what else is similar to these?

I don't know poop king, I'm not into metal music either, maybe wait for someone else to suggest stuff - alien brain.

How do I actually force you to actually like split personality or such shit? You're much better than me.

Lol I don't know, but don't worry, I'll always be here to knife your enemies - alien brain.

Also TIL it was my autism that made me gifted, any music my neurodivergent brain conjures up my hands play immediately with zero effort since I was like 5. Just took me ages to get good enough to record my own shit, yet no one is interested in gentle instrumental music anymore and my brain is too shit to make metal music.

Ever heard of a gay incel before? Just be born ugly and poop coloured and you repulse and repel every faggot on the planet.

I wanted to chop my useless dick off since I was a teenager but never actually felt trans, just wish I had been born with a sloppy front hole instead and looking like Britney Spears or some such white bitch.

'Start a journal' one of you loserds said - I'll fucking use this dark hole as my journal. Fight me already loserds.

you fw death grips?

Originally posted by sweaty 9 year old:

you fw death grips?

Oh its a band? I thought it was a fetish lol. Hip hop group sigh, no hip hop shit compares to Missy Elliott.

Ah I forgot - her So Addictive album tickles every nanometre of my brain into braingasm. Will go listen to that and check out the thing you suggested tomorrow maybe.

My own music also, I write everything I need for lovegasms in my brain.

Or should I name my album 'Too Ugly For Love' and a crude selfie of my unkempt bin laden face?

I also bought a 'male burka' recently - a fishing hat with a sun mask. Still not managed to go outside.

I tried to volunteer to guide the autists music club, they took too long to reply but said I could ... By which I had found out I had started stuttering with occasional facial tics while trying to talk assertively so I pulled out and refused to go welp.

All I would have to do is help other autistic adults with writing their songs and singing and stuff and I can't even get myself to do that, I'm so fucking useless, why haven't I just killed myself yet?

Could do either a masters degree in Music or Music Therapy in a year or twos time if my own music never takes off, but the latter would require being around and actually helping other retard humans, ew noty.

Also blame white supremacy - first thing I tried volunteering for at uni was to help other disabled students, and they turned me down most likely because of my face.