Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Hello I am Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥ here with ♥♥♥♥ Nut News at the head of the Presidential Poop Debate between Michael Reddit and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Michael Reddit: How are we doing today, Jon?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Oh god I am so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard right now

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Your first question is "To give a ♥♥♥♥ or to give a crap?"

Michael Reddit: Holy cr*ud! Those are no-no words! You can't say that!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Your honor, my client is a minor

Michael Reddit: Nuh-uh

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Yuh-uh

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Jr.: Dad, what's a minor?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: It's a person, unlike yourself.

Michael Reddit: I stand neutral between the two sides because both sides are cruel and evil and go to h#&k!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ um I don't give any ♥♥♥♥♥ so no crap for me.

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: "Do you consider yourself to be a dog person or a cat person?"

Michael Reddit: Dog.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Respectfully, I am a human, I don't do furries

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Your pronouns are rub/adub

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Dub

Michael Reddit: I go by he/he because that made me chuckle. NOT!

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Next question, "What does the Big Mac qualify as?"

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Not expensive enough

Michael Reddit: A cake

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: "Should you be allowed to have gay sex?"

Michael Reddit: No amount of sex should be fun, even if homosexuals are involved

Dr. Eggman: Mwahahahahaha, Sondic is circumcised now!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: All twinks and ♥♥♥♥ belong to me, everyone else can deal with gross straight sex

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, that's like Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name!

Dr. Eggman: There's not enough gay porn of me, you know what to do chat

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: "Scat, yay or nay?"

Michael Reddit: Michael Reddit

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Give me thirty seconds of ♥♥♥♥ on me and mmmmmmmmmm let's just say horses won't have four legs anymore

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: "What is the most ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fruit?"

Michael Reddit: Apples

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Apples

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Okay, explain why?

Michael Reddit: Sandy ♥♥♥♥ vore

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Because he's mysterious

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Sir, they went woke, they're a pronoun now

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: This is why the left aren't on the right side of history

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: "Why should you be president of ♥♥♥♥?"

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: I am the worst candidate, find me on Soundcloud @ shi77yd1ck

Michael Reddit: The economy is inflated like my favorite hecking chonker Garfeld

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: Inflation, you say?

Michael Reddit: No, I said, "Your mom so stupid, she"

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥: I am dedicated to being the number one pisser in a world full of ♥♥♥♥

Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥: Once again, I am Jonathan ♥♥♥♥♥♥ with ♥♥♥♥ Nut News, and thank you for watching



Author's Note: I am off my antidepressants