Shiv on to others has you would have them shiv you...Fockin' snich.

Welcome to the most sacred place of our lord and stabber, Slark. Let Slark into your heart for he loves you, even though you are a filthy feeder and all you play is Riki. Let the teachings of Slark bring you salvation and ever lasting mega kills.

The teachings of the Night Crawler.

1. Pray before every match that Slark might keep the filthy Russians away from your team so that they may not feed endlessly and then blame you for the fact they are going 0-35-0.

2. Make sure to at least try to not hurt those that are not in your way. But I doubt it.

3. Drill holes in Kunkka's ship's haul when ever possible. He really doesnt like it, and its hilarious when he pisses himself in anger.

4. Make sure your shiv is nice and shaaarrrrpp. Never know when you are going to need to stab a ♥♥♥♥♥. Or Kunkka when he finds you after you focked up his boat.

5. Don't play Axe. He is the anti-Slark! And if you fall into temptation and cut the lane you shall be forever damned to low priority with all the Russians and Peruvians.

6. FOCK WINDRANGER FOCKIN ♥♥♥♥ PLAY HER AND SLARK WILL PERSONALLY RIP OUT YOUR SPHINCTER AND WRAP IT AROUND YOUR DUMB FOCKIN HEAD!

7. Be polite and never mock your opponents. But if they so much as lol at you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ up something, mock them endlessly everytime you fock up their dumbass hole of a face! MOCK THEM TELL THEM YOU LEARNED THAT TRICK ON DOTACINEMA! Repeat the same comback until they offender loses all control of their bowls from your insistent verbal onslaught.

8. Dont fockin eat fish sticks. You sick fockin bastard.

9. Dont play Axe he is the- whoops already did this one.

10. Make sure to spread the teachings of Slark to all those that you come across. Even when they have a restraining order. What is a piece of paper to a devoted desciple of Slark? You must teach her that you shived her because you loved her. And if that ♥♥♥♥♥ doesn't get it through her thick skull, shiv her in it, let some of that hot air out of there.

11.When you meet a person for the first time, be nice and a real boon to be around. Then cut him twice right in the throat. ♥♥♥♥♥ was being to clingy. companionship is gross. DESTROY IT!

12. Professor Genki and Zork are prophets of Slark they spread his word where ever they go. And death; lots and lots of death. ETHICAL DEATH!

13. Email Icefrog to make a seaside castle map for dota. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love seaside castles.

I shall add more teachings and other holy writings when I have more visions from Slark. I mostly get them when I am dehydrated from masturbating for 2 days straight. Doesn't our lord work in wonderful ways!?

That is all for now my little fishies.

With love- The High Priest of Slarkdom