Originally posted by L.C.L.:

Originally posted by Le'Dawn:

..if empathy equals kindness...

Big difference, bro~
Just saying ^ ^

Taking it out of context is also a relatively big difference. I did word it poorly though, but i think we both understand what i'm trying to say regardless, and i also understand that what you were trying to say in the first place was out of benevolence, but i also want to show you a different, more objective perspective that you probably never considered.

Besides, are you not going to pick on anything else i said? You basically picked my poorest and most weak point that almost doesn't even matter compared to the rest i said, specifically the most important is the last paragraph.

Originally posted by L.C.L.:

Personally I think kindness starts with empathy, so a good start would be trying to think of how your words and actions make other people feel and choose words and actions that cause happiness rather than harm.

It doesn't. Empathy is your sensing capability of knowing the desires and intents of others. A hooded man slowly stalks you- You use empathy to know it's probably not the best idea to approach him.

Some people might have malevolent intents, in which case if empathy equals kindness, then you will use it to help him 'in kindness' which is ultimately destructive for someone else.

You then contradict empathy with how to go about being kind, by focusing on what you yourself should say so it doesn't come along harmful, when empathy would be to know what the other person wants to hear, not making yourself look innocent. Kind of backwards because that's just being self-centered.

I didn't expect to be so normal when I have a certificate that says I'm dysfunctional lmfao, and more ironically, socially inept is what it is more or less.

I seriously have no idea how some people appear to be constantly seeking and outright spamming for friends yet at the same time manage to be so disinterested or full of themselves. It's come to the point where i've started to ignore lots of people in general and lost interest myself for socialising, since nobody appears to be capable of doing so. I can't do all the work myself after, and i lose my patience quickly these days.

Then again most people seem to treat this group as a dating site to be honest, just say you look for friends to avoid actually looking too desperate

Originally posted by ﴾֎Dracula֍﴿:

Originally posted by LiquidCrystal // #Pantsus:

wtf is this group of fgts

this coming from the guy whos profile picture is a mess of idk what. is that a face? is it just a weird paper mache? (know i dont know how that last bits spelt)

You're shitting me LOL... It's a guy in a hoodie...

Originally posted by xxVERSUSxy:

And you forgot about the time invested in all that "soul searching" and how much "fruit will bear" said endeavor in the case of incognito people (private profiles). Statistical data points to an already really small number of like-minded (similar preferences) acquaintances becoming friends; then you have the road from friends to close/best friends to cross. I for one prefer to maximize my chances minimizing the time and effort invested. But by all means, add private profiles if that's your cup of tea, try to socialize with the person behind it (even if the private status implies that person doesn't want to), try forging a lasting friendship etc - as you point it, you never know. I'm just expressing a personal feeling/choice - be it narrow-minded as you write.

Regarding "opposites attract each other" - for people and their preferences there isn't so much a matter of "opposites" as it is one of "differences", not necessarily in opposition. But yes, opposites, at least in the case of romantic couples, do really attract each other; still probably not for the reason you're thinking of, aka complement each other - it's the tension of disagreements:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201401/the-real-reason-opposites-attract

Plus one can learn something from literally everything in life, still one must prioritize - because life isn't endless and we constantly change.

Oh, and too many IFs in a sea of bad interactions between people.


PS: as per my "friendship requirements", here's the posting in question (spoiler - I just want one or two relaxed players to casually co-op Don't Starve Together with):
https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/groups/r_u_kind/discussions/0/352792037314892427/
(yes, there is a "no-VAC bans" requisite, other stuff being debatable)

Well that's all there is then. I was talking more broadly, while you're talking about your own stance on the matter.

Also, because you can learn from literally everything in life, that's why you should. You can prioritize, but by prioritising you will eventually come across things you find unworthy of your time, and you will end up feeling in the end as if a lot of your time on the small things was a waste of time, when if being more open, you could instead use it to your advantage than seeing it as a waste of time.

Edit: ^ Ofcourse, trying to make your time not wasted is inevitable in some cases, but you can always make the best out of the situation.

A private profile does not suggest ''don't add me'' or ''i don't want to talk to you/people'', if the person like OP clearly states otherwise.

As for the thing about opposites, i see what you're talking about. However, again, there is always a way for you take advantage of people. Whether that is you learning something from them, having a conversation, and so forth. They might learn something themselves from you. You're the one who decides what is a waste of time and what isn't.

Originally posted by xxVERSUSxy:

Originally posted by Wushanko:

[...] True friends, and potentially true friends, will not care whether your profile is private or not. [...]

What appeal does have for me a private profile? I see a picture and that's it - what incentive is there in the first place that makes me want to add such "Kinder Surprises" person? And, most of all, it hovers the question: why would that specific individual configure their profile on private status (when bulk of "cupcakes" use said profile to "brag" about stuff) - what does he/she hide?

I for one want to see, in the case of Steam, what games has the person I visit, see if we have common preferences, if we're like-minded. And even if, for the sake of argument, I add that private profile and then find I have a whopping nothing in common with it (him/her) - isn't then weird, pointless and sad to unfriend right after add?!

-What appeal does it have? The element of surprise.

-Why would someone private their profile? Jesus, there's literally endless possibilities. Ask.

-Like-minded, nothing in common? Why is this bad? Opposites attract each other. Maybe if you werent so narrow-minded you would be more tolerant towards other views in which case there is a lot to learn from people that are the opposite of yourself.

-Didn't enjoy said person, awkward to remove straight after adding. You're kidding me. A first impression isn't gonna tell you about the person. There's so many reasons for why a first impression could be anything but what the person is NOT like.

In a nutshell, you're a narrow-minded judgmental person with standards for a friendship. I guess your friends better be above steam lvl 10 and have no VAC bans too, that somehow matters right?

What if this one person who has his profile private, could be a lifelong friend you end up meeting, but you deny that because of the risk of the person being i dont know, not up to your standards.

Dude.

Really depends what kind of friends you look for indeed. I mean, i ignore about 95% of people here because, no offence, just my personal opinion, they look cancer.

What is appealing for me is generally a neutral impression or a humourus one. I don't want to read a bible about you and you who you are, your social medias, your 500-long anime list, and all that crap.

Edit: ^ Let me learn this by talking to you instead

But internet friends, i assume you mean deeper than just some dudes to chit chat with every now and then. You know, the kinda' internet friend you just chat with every single day no matter what, or skype at least an hour a day or something, and it's just the friendship you develop with that person and it stays that way because that's the way it is and has been for years, that kinda' friendship.

To reach that friendship, then put your profile on private. That's what you want, isn't it? Then put it up. Whoever doubts to add you because ''private profile'', then they weren't really meant to be your friend in the first place, were they? Better attract those who can become true friends, than just constant one-night chats with people.

True friends, and potentially true friends, will not care whether your profile is private or not. What kind of dumb standard is that anyways? Just wow.

In conclusion: Really, just be yourself. You will find people, or people will find you. Just use groups like this or something, but the best way is probably just online games or clans.