Recent reviews by SYSTEM GLITCH

Weakness is not tolorated. The murders I commit are an artform of the highest caliber. I am death, the caretaker of a little girl, who does not approve of my life ending skills. Yet it must be... for our safety to be assured, all blood must spill.

There will be no mercy as all shall fall before my blade.

One of the best games in Video Game History.

Enter noob wearing some leather as a robe and leggings, with a helmet which may or may not be metal and equipped with the METAL SHORTSWORD OF UNMANLYNESS and WORN SHEILD OF LIFE.

I was so overloaded with dead animals that my run speed was comparable to a fast ant. I needed to get to a vendor, who's entrance was over a hill, far along the wall to the city I had to circumvent. I was going to be rich.

Yet at the same time, I knew it would look suspicious to be seen moving at such a slow speed while running. Enter my adorable deer like pet I called NotaBear who I would stop and turn to whenever another person was in sight.

As I neared the arena I had to pass before closing in on the city gates, I knew encounters would become more frequent. By this time my daughter was cheering me on!

I made it past the arena, only stopping to socialize with NotaBear 3 times, the end was in sight! And then it happened.

Enter a man in silver robes covering his body. Blinding me and filling me with fear, he asked what I was doing. How much gold I had. What I was carrying. He told me the command to type that would drop all the loot in my bags, and he would let me live if I dumped my gear.

I told him I only had meat. He told me to dump my gear. My daughter told me to dump my gear. I continue to back up with my shield out, hoping to stall for 20 minutes as I walk backwards to the city. You have no idea how slow going this is...

I am losing all hope. He is telling me he going to kill me. The end is near.

Behind him I see a man on a horse with the largest bow I have seen in the game. I yell out that I am being robbed. He stops. My robber turns and greets the man by name with humility and fear!!

My Savior asks what is transpiring, and I repeat that he is trying to steal all my meat. My Savior retorts with a funny meat joke and we all laugh.

However my robber still attempts to get me to drop my gear. My crawling backpeddle to the gates looks more hopeful, as my Savior tells me to continue into the city and that this man will leave me alone. I offer my thanks.

And then the robbers horse attacks me! Shield up I quickly learn to parry this magnificent creatures attacks. Life is dropping, at 60% life my Savior notices what is happening and runs to the rescue.

The robber runs. The horse runs. The Savior gives chase. Moments later, my robber lays dead, and I am free to head into the city, proudly displaying the wounds I earned to keep my treasure!

Best 43 silver I ever made.

This is for people who own the previous version. I put over 800 hours into the original, mostly on Breakdown, up to level 42.

-Textures are worse than before
-All previous glitches exist
-Full screen is not default, must use alt-enter to get fullscreen
-Shadows are sooooooooo bad
-New character uses generic voice
-Lilly is still annoying as hell

I'm not sure what I paid $20 for. A new character and some real bad retexturing?

If you do not own the previous version, then by all means purchase the game, it is great. If you own it already, and do not plan to put hundreds of hours into the game, I cannot recommend it to you. Mods will give you everything you need, this is a cash grab pure and simple.

Shame on you Undead Labs.

At least EA can't ruin a great game already made.

This timeless classic will always have our love.

RIP Battlefront franchise.

Super Fast, Super Fun.

After you play a little and decide you want to know what is going on, pause the game and read the Table Guide. It clearly explains the goals real quick.

This is a quick table with a nice flow when you are in the groove. Simple and unforgiving, this table makes you want to play over and over again.

Tips:
Red Bumpers = 2 Balls (Yep super fun)
Green Bumpers = I'll lose my ball. Yep, every time and so will you. Or not, but seriously, ♥♥♥♥ green.
Blue is hadest to hit. Wait for the last moments of the flipper.
HIT THOSE RAMPS! Top left bumper = awesome.
When she says "Hurry!" HIT THOSE RAMPS.

If you notice the hole in the middle... hit your ball into it and start the mini game. Have right flipper ready to go!

HIT THOSE RAMPS!! Over and over again. Feel the flow.

9/10 this table is addicting.

Welcome to a fresh take on an old formula. Much of the strategy takes place before a battle ever begins. Who gets which item, which row to place your units in, and who goes on the flank. Never before has initiative been so important. Support units are no longer a bonus, they are a real strategic necessity.

Notice how every game of M&M or King's Bounty turns into a combat grind that keeps you from finishing the game? You will not get that here. Combat is quick, and you no longer spend half the battle jockeying for position. I don't know about you, but that combat fatigue eventually wore me down, and I always eventually found my desire to play the game diminish as the thought of another half hour battle almost had me in tears.

Enjoy strategy and combat that does not dominate the game. Here you get a well written story, with many hard choices and a real touch of human nature where good and evil are not always easy to distinguish.

The developers care about this game to a degree which sets them apart from most other games. Legends of Eisenwald is a wonderful game, with a compelling story no strategy fan should overlook.

Crazy Characters. Killer Cowboys. Awesome Art.

Daughter loves it. I love it.

Will play again. 9/10

9.5/10

To date this game is the most immersive and realistic zombie survival game on the market.

So play this game, and beat the story line. Buy Breakdown and play the sh*t out of that. Breakdown is a great deal of fun.

Do yourself a favour, and pick a different Home Site with each play through. Each site provides its own unique challenges, and different approaches to survival. If you don't like the current Home Base you have, just build up your RV and get to the next level. It is up to you how long you remain on each level of Breakdown. But please.... experience them all, it really increases the depth of this game.

TL;DR:

Best flipping game of 2013.

-edit-

2014: Still the best zombie survival game on the market.

This game is so bad, I am going to remove it from my library.