The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-m o t h e r f u c k i n'-T!"
And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from f u c k i n' high school.
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better...
You'd better listen.
Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this s h i t never happens to me
Can't breathe right now, it was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland, all sort of terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why you all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real, finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing 'cause this s h i t never happens to me
Can't breathe right now
You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
G o d d a m n, s h i t the bed.
Hey ...
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen...
S h i t the bed again...
Typical.