Recent reviews by Derek

I like jumping

9/10

A somewhat half hearted attempt by valve to capture the Candy Crush crowd, Portal 2 exemplifies the desperation to capture this growing mobile phone audience. In exchange for Candy Crush's brilliant and vibrant color, the laboratories of Aperture Science are a lugubrious, drab greyish white. The charm that King's mobile title exudes at every corner is lacking in Valve's poor imitation. The illustrious guide, Mr. Toffee, whose physiognomy personifies joy is discarded in exchange for a heartless, inhuman machine. The delightful player character, Tiffi, is replaced by a voiceless, utterly uninteresting test subject. With no character development whatsoever, Portal 2 fails to make the player become invested in the outcome of the characters, one of the main reasons Candy Crush was so well received. The game mechanics of Portal 2 have been watered down in order to appeal to toddlers. The once mentally intensive act of matching varieties of candy has been replaced with generating portals to the end of the levels. No skill is required as one may just create a portal at any moment to the end of the game. Overall Valve's attempt to cash in on the success of puzzle games lacks all that made Candy Crush so fantastic, including the ability to play on the go. Why a puzzle game such as this lacks mobile phone functionality is an enigma to me.

Overall I give this game a 2/10.
As others have suggested, play Candy Crush instead.

10/10 Very original storyline, never before seen in any video game before, very adult.

Have you ever played Call of Duty and all you could think of was how much better the game would be with one less dimension? Neither did I, but this is exactly what LISA strives to accomplish. It takes the classic CoD formula and attempts to apply it to a 2D map. The results are a game with a third less strategy and two thirds the fun of an actual Call of Duty title. The story has no memorable moments, unlike Call of Duty Modern Warfare in which you are thrust into the point of view of a president being executed at point blank by a desert eagle.

2/10 As some others have suggested, just get Black Ops 3 when it comes out.

Once again, a kickstarter funded entry in the CoD series attempts to reimagine Call of Duty in two dimensions, the first was LISA. Once again the gameplay falls flat when compared to traditional entries in the CoD franchise; one less dimension simply doesn't do Call of Duty justice. This game however will most likely entertain your younger sibling who wishes to get into the Call of Duty series; it is a great, entry-level part of the series that will introduce children to the fantastic backstory of Call of Duty. However, when they are old enough, they should move onto the three dimensional Call of Duties, they are better in every way imaginable. One of the few gameplay aspects I enjoyed about this CoD is that if the player successfully kills every enemy in the game, a full-size nuke, not just a tactical one, is given to them at the end of the game and they are forced to use it on the entire planet, destroying it. The match then ends, and the player is sent back to the main menu to queue up for a new match. A nice addition to this entry is the ability to form friendships with characters in the single player campaign. Never before has a CoD allowed such bond-forming between the player character and his fellow soldiers. Nonetheless, any adult looking to purchase this game would be better off saving their money for Black Ops 3.

10/10 for babies.
2/10 for true hardcore adult gamers such as myself.

2022 Update: Finally, I've gotten every single achievement I don't have to play this stupid game ever again. 50% of the time I spent on this game was just losing as 3 of 34 characters. The Lost, Tainted Lost, and Tainted Jacob (AKA the 3rd Lost) are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AAAAAIIIIIIDDDDSSSSSS.

I give this game a 2/10 for being twice as good as the original.

For the small amount of time that I have played this game I have found it to be extremely boring and monotonous. You might think that it would be fun with zombies or karts or other stuff but no, its not. If you want to play a moddable game might as well play Garry's mod, which is much much cheaper. The game is full of bugs and the controls are all backwards. Half the time I find myself looking at settings when I'm actually trying to open a door. Overall this game sucks and I reccomend that everyone steer clear from it. I also forgot to mention that it is poorly optimised.

9/10 If you want realistic

0/10 If you want fun

I have played this game for a while now, and I can honestly tell you that it has some of the most basic quests ever. Literally every quest consists of either picking up a certain number of something, or killing an enemy. Many of the quests are extremely similar and the game relies on the loot and humor to be entertaining. The levels are much more varied compared to the original borderlands however, with snow and lava and stuff. If you get a good weapon, have fun not being able to use it in a few levels, because gearbox decided that weapons should become useless after 3 levels, and you can also expect not to get any more than 1 or 2 legendary weapons if you don't farm bosses. The game also gets really repetitive when you are doing the story mode over and over again to try to get to ultimate vault hunter mode, it really is annoying. The characters you play as have different parts of the game where they are fun like zer0 is boring until later on while krieg is fun at all times. In fact, you might as well not even play as anyone other than Krieg because he is the most fun character. Salvador is statistically the best character however so if you like to be really good at video games you pick him. Finally you pick Maya if you're a girl and you pick Gaige if you like my little pony. Oh yeah i forgot about the most forgettable playable character ever, axton. He is a generic soldier with a dumb turret. One of the things I did like about the game however are all the HILARIOUS quotable dialogue lines that the characters have. Oh and the beginning snow areas are the most boring parts of the game and the game has horrible leveling, where in the first playthrough you will be horribly overleveled if you do the quests and ultimate vault hunter mode forces you to use slag A LOT.

Overall this game is definetly 10/10 and I recommend it to everyone.

Enjoy hundreds upon hundreds of copy-pasted dungeons, boring enemies, uninteresting skills, basic spells, fetch quests, glitches and bugs. Take in the breath takingly small Skyrim (If this is a country then how big is the planet.) as you click on draugrs, click on bandits, click on falmers, click on spiders, click on wizards, and click on dragons. Watch as your hero cinematically kills the easiest enemies in any game ever, and when you turn up the difficulty, the game lazily only increases the enemy health and damage. Feel like you haven't gotten any stronger due to the amazing scaling enemies. But people keep telling me that this is the best game ever so I guess they're right.

I give this game a 10/10.

2d minecraft ripoff.

I give this game a 0/10, for being a cheap imitation