217 people found this review helpful
25 people found this review funny
5
5
4
3
3
10
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 6.8 hrs on record
Posted: 20 Apr, 2024 @ 2:53pm

Early Access Review
---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☑ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☑ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☑ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☑ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☑ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10
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7 Comments
garmod 19 Sep, 2024 @ 11:37am 
Or just, y'know, dont play this game.
Snickerdoodle 20 Jun, 2024 @ 6:36pm 
☑ honestly just play legacy for the time being
AndrewDaMan04 9 May, 2024 @ 10:59pm 
You no good troublemaker, absolute goober, you silly scoundrel. Remove this review this instant young man or prepare for the butt whoopin of a lifetime punk. Don't mess with the Dino busters pal. You messed with the bull and now you get the horns understand me? You absolute hooligan, delinquent, vandal and dare I say ruffian. You are going to get it fella
Khooba 9 May, 2024 @ 10:55pm 
Angel pretty much sums it up. Bad game don't buy.
-Angel- 8 May, 2024 @ 9:57pm 
Oh, 6 hours on record. Yeah this review now makes sense...
-Angel- 8 May, 2024 @ 9:53pm 
Minor bugs? I think this game caused the issues for Ark atp. The most buggy game out there IMO... Only get it on sale, which is almost never, which should tell you to honestly not get it at all. People have been waiting since the very release of this game for things that will NEVER come, I mean some promises have been dragged on for nearly a decade!!! Also it has NO story, unless you like looking into the history of a totally brain-dead dev team, then there's a lot to unconver. Also go beg daddy NASA because after the last update people seem to no longer be going above 30 FPS, even the ones that did unspeakable acts to get a NASA computer. So please say good bye to your processor and GFX card. If however you liked fried eggs then certainly don't forget to crack one onto your PC as you play since it'll be well done within a minute, give or take. And now I just realized I should've made my own review.
MR.G 8 May, 2024 @ 2:29pm 
---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☑ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs ur 100% a ark players this made my day thx for ur helpful coment