⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "I’m a Mayor, Not a Magician!"

I started Cities: Skylines with grand visions of utopia—a thriving metropolis with clean streets, happy citizens, and a skyline that would make New York jealous. Five hours in, my city looks more like a post-apocalyptic wasteland designed by a caffeinated raccoon.

First challenge: traffic. I built an elegant highway system, a feat of modern engineering. Then my citizens decided it was more fun to form a single-file line, 47 miles long, for no reason. I watched as ambulances with blaring sirens politely queued behind Karen’s SUV because she needed to turn left at the busiest intersection in history.

My city also has "issues." One minute, everyone loves the fresh water supply. The next, they’re mysteriously dying en masse. Turns out, I accidentally piped sewage water back into the drinking supply. Oops! On the bright side, I no longer have a housing shortage.

And don’t get me started on power. I built wind turbines to be eco-friendly, but apparently, the wind forgot to show up. So, I switched to coal. Now my skyline is just a murky cloud of despair. Residents complain about pollution while still living directly under the smokestacks because, according to them, it has "good schools."

Disasters? You bet. One time, I was finally making progress when a meteor struck my new commercial district. In true Cities: Skylines fashion, half the city was vaporized, but the traffic jam remained completely intact. At least someone in my city is consistent.

Oh, and I tried public transport! Built a bus line that somehow created more congestion. Added a subway. Lost track of the tunnels. Now my trains go on an endless underground odyssey, and I haven’t seen the passengers since.

But the best part? My citizens still re-elect me. Because when you’ve flooded half the city, turned the other half into a garbage dump, and caused more disasters than an insurance adjuster can handle… you’re still better than the alternative, I guess.

5 stars. I may not be a good mayor, but I’m their bad mayor.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "I’m a Mayor, Not a Magician!" I started Cities: Skylines with grand visions of utopia—a thriving metropolis with clean streets, happy citizens, and a skyline that would make New York jealous. Five hours in, my city looks more like a post-apocalyptic wasteland designed by a caffeinated raccoon. First challenge: traffic. I built an elegant highway system, a feat of modern engineering. Then my citizens decided it was more fun to form a single-file line, 47 miles long, for no reason. I watched as ambulances with blaring sirens politely queued behind Karen’s SUV because she needed to turn left at the busiest intersection in history. My city also has "issues." One minute, everyone loves the fresh water supply. The next, they’re mysteriously dying en masse. Turns out, I accidentally piped sewage water back into the drinking supply. Oops! On the bright side, I no longer have a housing shortage. And don’t get me started on power. I built wind turbines to be eco-friendly, but apparently, the wind forgot to show up. So, I switched to coal. Now my skyline is just a murky cloud of despair. Residents complain about pollution while still living directly under the smokestacks because, according to them, it has "good schools." Disasters? You bet. One time, I was finally making progress when a meteor struck my new commercial district. In true Cities: Skylines fashion, half the city was vaporized, but the traffic jam remained completely intact. At least someone in my city is consistent. Oh, and I tried public transport! Built a bus line that somehow created more congestion. Added a subway. Lost track of the tunnels. Now my trains go on an endless underground odyssey, and I haven’t seen the passengers since. But the best part? My citizens still re-elect me. Because when you’ve flooded half the city, turned the other half into a garbage dump, and caused more disasters than an insurance adjuster can handle… you’re still better than the alternative, I guess. 5 stars. I may not be a good mayor, but I’m their bad mayor.