75 people found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 11.0 hrs on record (6.2 hrs at review time)
Posted: 11 Jul, 2022 @ 4:40pm
Updated: 25 Jul, 2022 @ 2:54pm

I remember when I bought this game in 2021. A key part of that memory involves the fact that, at that time, I was actually able to, you know, play the game. (For a few hours. I think I snagged it during a sale, tried it out for a bit, and then planned on playing it more substantially later.)

Now. in 2022, I attempt to start the game up. I discover that there are now about 10 layers of Epic Games garbage retrofitted to the game; and so in addition to taking forever to launch, it never gets past the very first "Loading" screen. I literally can't even make it to the main menu. I've done all the usual troubleshooting steps, and nothing works. It's just completely effing broken.

Add to that the various other controversial changes apparently done to the game in the time since the developers/publishers sold their souls to Epic Games (these changes are well-documented by others), and the only message I can reasonably say I'm getting from the people behind this game is a giant middle finger.

I'm currently attempting to get a refund, since I bought the game under a particular understanding, and the game has been completely changed in such a way that it no longer reflects the buying decision I originally made at all. (For example: when I bought it, I did so on the understanding that I would be able to, like, you know, play the game, or at least even get to the main menu. And while this was possible at the time I paid for the game, it's no longer possible. Not being able to play the game is one fairly significant factor that would generally tend to make me not want to spend money on a game and buy it.)

If the developers/publishers are going to take away my ability to play the game I paid for, then I think it's only fair that I be allowed to take away the money that I gave them, in good faith, on the understanding that I'd be able to effing play the damn thing in the first place.

UPDATE:

For anyone who runs into the same problem I did: After an inane amount of time wasted troubleshooting this stupid problem, I have concluded that the infinite loading screen is, in fact, actually just Epic Games's intuitive way of informing you that you need to link your Epic Games account to your Steam account in order for the game to load. Their game overlay system is apparently broken or ♥♥♥♥♥♥ or whatever, and so it just doesn't bother to show up and inform you of what the hell you need to actually do. This is genius-level game design. Also, if you weren't able to figure out that "infinite loading screen means I need to link my accounts", then you are probably an idiot who will be yelled at by other, definitely much smarter, people for not being able to figure out such an obvious thing yourself.

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2840429916
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14 Comments
sigsegv 18 Aug, 2022 @ 1:05pm 
@SANDER I think, you didn't, read, the, review. It had, nothing, to do, with my PC, needing, to be, fixed, in any, manner, whatsoever.
sigsegv 18 Aug, 2022 @ 1:05pm 
@Your car's extended warranty Yes, I agree, it's a horrendous mistake on the part of Epic Games to make their game completely nonfunctional in this manner.
Cap N Cook 7 Aug, 2022 @ 5:38pm 
i think
ur pc
needs
to
get
fixed
rosa parks wap again 29 Jul, 2022 @ 9:22pm 
this is the dumbest mistake ive ever heard of in a long time
sigsegv 25 Jul, 2022 @ 2:58pm 
2.5 hours of further wasted troubleshooting time later: it turns out that the Epic Games devs are geniuses of the highest magnitude, and have managed to fuck up "show a message at startup saying that you need to link accounts" into "loading screen that just goes forever and never does anything lol".

And no, I am not kidding, I am not making that up. That's literally actually what it is.
sigsegv 25 Jul, 2022 @ 12:10pm 
@Your car's extended warranty Well, for me, the loading screen just doesn't load anything. No substantial disk I/O, or growth in memory usage, or growth in VRAM usage, etc. Thanks for the support article, but it's not applicable.
sigsegv 25 Jul, 2022 @ 12:07pm 
@Crouton This problem has nothing to do with my system purportedly being a "toaster". I'd be able to tell if it did.

And I easily meet the stated minimum requirements anyway.
sigsegv 25 Jul, 2022 @ 12:04pm 
@BestAdam Yes. Obviously I had to run the game to troubleshoot it. And eventually I just left it running at the loading screen for about an hour to see if anything would ever happen (nope, still didn't load).
rosa parks wap again 19 Jul, 2022 @ 1:18pm 
rosa parks wap again 18 Jul, 2022 @ 6:40pm 
Same issue here. I left fall guys run on the loading screen for like 5-10 minutes and it finally booted up, with Major performance issues, especially considering I run a GTX 1650 super, which, while budget, is still pretty good. The thing is, it did work before the epic games thing.