I was recommended to buy The Witcher back in 2007. I didn't immediately dismiss the recommendation, but no less ended up buying another game in its place. As time passed, The Witcher 2 came out, and The Witcher 3, but the incessive hype surrounding the game's series never phased me, because the game still seemed to be in third person, still seemed to force the player to play some man whose story have already been predetermined in what assimilates an RP-element, it still seemed lacking in choice of weapons and any real spells, and customization, it still seemed to be set in the most boring wannabe-realistic era of European history, and the fantasy still seemed as off-putting as is it seemed divorced from pretty much everything else that I want in an RPG. 11 years later and I buy The Witcher 3, mostly because it's on sale, but I'm also thinking that now is as good a time as any to try it because I'm running out of interesting and innovative games to play. I download it, watch the introduction videos, and walk around in a room with a naked lady using my witcher senses to inspect various items. By now, I dislike how clunky the movement feels and how it feels like I have to spoon the walls just to inspect items. I follow Ciri through the first tutorial, and now I really can't stand the way that movement feels. I follow the combat tutorial, and now I'm very certain that I was correct about how dull the combat would be. I get into the wilds, am attacked by a small pack of ghouls, and now, I really-- really dislike the combat. I really-- really dislike the movement. I really-- really dislike the way things look. I really-- really dislike the fact that I am recommended to individually target things, and that I am swinging my sword around in the air like a half-wit missing things. The illusion of a "dodge damage" system was clearly added to the game, but as the rest of the combat system was not developed to revolve around it, it is frankly useless, so either you're like me and don't care, get your arse chopped off in the process, or you're like the millions of people who enjoyed the game because their RP-aspect mostly goes to pretending that the dodge system works properly and that they are 1337 using it, clicking "load saved game" every 5 minutes. I eat 6 large breads, not 6 slices, but 6 breads, and drink 2 barrels of water to return my health, pick up some random pointless flowers while the old guy tells me to get a move on, and now I really-- really hate the fact that I want to do one thing (pick flowers, because I like crafting, but mostly flowers), whilst the game tells me to f--- off and get to the story. But I "man up" and take a big bite of the horse manure as big boys do when they are challenged to eat horse manure, and now I'm running around on horseback with my sword still drawn like the game couldn't figure that out on its own, following an old guy galloping about 200 meters in front of me talking about something like I'm supposed to hear him from that distance when it dawns on me: I'm going to delete this game. There's a lot of people who love this game, so I am in no way saying that the game is bad, but the game is bad. I ate more food in this game over the past 15 seconds than I ate in real life over the past two weeks. Either this game owes me more bread, or real life owes me a cure to my scoliosis. But, honestly, I don't know why I don't like the game. Maybe the same people who like this game also liked to play God Of War, another game that I can't find remotely interesting no matter how many million USD they've wasted into animating unappealing videos.

I was recommended to buy The Witcher back in 2007. I didn't immediately dismiss the recommendation, but no less ended up buying another game in its place. As time passed, The Witcher 2 came out, and The Witcher 3, but the incessive hype surrounding the game's series never phased me, because the game still seemed to be in third person, still seemed to force the player to play some man whose story have already been predetermined in what assimilates an RP-element, it still seemed lacking in choice of weapons and any real spells, and customization, it still seemed to be set in the most boring wannabe-realistic era of European history, and the fantasy still seemed as off-putting as is it seemed divorced from pretty much everything else that I want in an RPG. 11 years later and I buy The Witcher 3, mostly because it's on sale, but I'm also thinking that now is as good a time as any to try it because I'm running out of interesting and innovative games to play. I download it, watch the introduction videos, and walk around in a room with a naked lady using my witcher senses to inspect various items. By now, I dislike how clunky the movement feels and how it feels like I have to spoon the walls just to inspect items. I follow Ciri through the first tutorial, and now I really can't stand the way that movement feels. I follow the combat tutorial, and now I'm very certain that I was correct about how dull the combat would be. I get into the wilds, am attacked by a small pack of ghouls, and now, I really-- really dislike the combat. I really-- really dislike the movement. I really-- really dislike the way things look. I really-- really dislike the fact that I am recommended to individually target things, and that I am swinging my sword around in the air like a half-wit missing things. The illusion of a "dodge damage" system was clearly added to the game, but as the rest of the combat system was not developed to revolve around it, it is frankly useless, so either you're like me and don't care, get your arse chopped off in the process, or you're like the millions of people who enjoyed the game because their RP-aspect mostly goes to pretending that the dodge system works properly and that they are 1337 using it, clicking "load saved game" every 5 minutes. I eat 6 large breads, not 6 slices, but 6 breads, and drink 2 barrels of water to return my health, pick up some random pointless flowers while the old guy tells me to get a move on, and now I really-- really hate the fact that I want to do one thing (pick flowers, because I like crafting, but mostly flowers), whilst the game tells me to f--- off and get to the story. But I "man up" and take a big bite of the horse manure as big boys do when they are challenged to eat horse manure, and now I'm running around on horseback with my sword still drawn like the game couldn't figure that out on its own, following an old guy galloping about 200 meters in front of me talking about something like I'm supposed to hear him from that distance when it dawns on me: I'm going to delete this game. There's a lot of people who love this game, so I am in no way saying that the game is bad, but the game is bad. I ate more food in this game over the past 15 seconds than I ate in real life over the past two weeks. Either this game owes me more bread, or real life owes me a cure to my scoliosis. But, honestly, I don't know why I don't like the game. Maybe the same people who like this game also liked to play God Of War, another game that I can't find remotely interesting no matter how many million USD they've wasted into animating unappealing videos.