I got a vasectomy in my mid twenties. Then I started sticking my ♥♥♥♥ in crazy. That lasted about 20 years, and it was so much fun.

Now that I'm old I'm happily single. Which infuriates so many women. Friend's wives, siblings, women online, so many people.

They want me to be miserable, but I'm not. I'm living my best life. Totally drama free. Super simple. No worries at all.

So like, my friends and I will get together, and everyone will talk about their current events. And I'm always just like, ya, I went surfing, I went hiking, I took naps. And they're like, Well I had to deal with this and that and this other thing. And then the wives look at me with daggers, and insult me, and ask how it is not getting laid.