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The Iain M Banks

The Limited Offensive Unit. The Iain M Banks
The Iain M.Banks (Demilitarised) + (Sidegraded) Limited Offensive Unit .
COMBAT SYSTEMS:

X2 8000RPM reletavistic rail cannons - REMOVED.
X2 Small effector arrays - REMOVED.
X1 Long range 1000mm high velocity anti-matter cannon - DEACTIVATED.
X1 SC culture Mind (small) - HYPERSPATIAL ELEMENT REMOVED.
x2 5 barrelled 2000Giga Watt Gamma ray lasers - DEACTIVATED.
X22 Knife missiles (Contact standard) - REMOVED.
X9 AM capable knife missiles (SC standard) - RETIRED.
X18 Non sentient grid enhanced thermonuclear 1012 Megatonne thermo nuclear missiles - REMOVED
X4 decoy / tracker / interceptor missiles.
X1 161mm quad Sabot APS gun.
X1 161mm quad Flak APS gun.
X1 406mm Anti shield APS cannon.
X1 456mm HE inertial APS cannon.
X1 dual 500 mm high velocity HE APS cannon.
X2 medium power point defence.
Max velocity: 107 Killo lights at 5% degredation per hour. - MAIN ENGINE REMOVED (60 Ms-1)
Space capable (hence the cost).
Dual Core AI, Runs on Arial AI until it loses 10% health then switches to PID enhanced Naval AI, set to engage at long range, will also attempt to dodge missiles.
AI and pilot control. armoured command deck, and a glass hero cockpit.
Hyperspatial grid linked 2 000 000 000 Mega watt spatial traction engine - REMOVED.
20k-30k reactive hybrid distributed power palnt.
massive surge protection, repair and self repair.
Very basic medium power shielding.

Sidegraded, The IMB really should have thought more about what the actual word meant before saying yes.
The IMB had not really been listening at the mission brief, It was to busy trying to deal with the after effects of its attempts to effectorize an Idiirian cruisers nano bang hole thrower, it had kind of worked but The entire solar system was now awash with tiny black holes, moving at relativistic speeds, which were making a real mess of friend and foe alike.
MWAVE TIGHTBEAM # The GOU (General Offensive Unit) Grounded for Life. @
ROU (Rapid Offensive Unit) IMB. " Pull anything like that again on my battle field and I will slap displace you into the centre of the nearest star."
MWAVE TIGHTBEAM # LOU "IMB" @ GOU (General Offensive Unit) Grounded for Life. Sorry sorry sorry
Like sorry^1200.
The IMB knew it should have stopped the simulation at this point and listened to what the Big warships were saying but it was having so much fun running the simulated battle inside its own mind.
The IMB imagined that the warship that had constructed it the "Grey Area" would probably have said something along the lines of,
"daydreaming during a mission brief is usually going to end in a rapidly expanding ball of plasma with you at the centre."
The IMB missed the grey Area.
The IMB missed its human crew, It had always considered them as something halfway between a cat and a tick, constantly irritating, but somehow for some inexplicable reason, it was always nice to have them around. Culture warships tended not to approve of that kind of thinking regarding their humans, but the IMB was a Special Circumstances Limited Offensive Unit and the rules were different in Special Circumstances, and even more so for LOU class ships, as Limited Offensive Units themselves were generally considered insane by most of the larger culture ships.
But what the IMB really missed were its knife missiles, averaging somewhere between the size of a human fingernail and a finger, they were much smaller than its current missiles, but its current missiles were unlikely to go AWOL for a day or 2, only to return with nothing to say other than happy birthday big guy. Having smashed a perfect 200 km diameter tube through each of the next 7 planets that you had spent the past week moaning about the course corrections and matter/energy ussage required to navigate around.
"Everbody loves Knife missiles" The IMB morosely thought to itself.
The word Sidegraded, the IMB realized was not actually in Culture vocabulary, and when and if the IMB returned to its own universe, it was going to make dammed sure everyone was aware that sidegraded was suspiciously like being downgraded, only done with a very very very large hammer.
And now here it was, alone, several centuries flight from home; a shadow of its former self.
"sidegrading... Ironically" the IMB thought to itself. "this is exactly the kind of thing I was created for, to do to other people and entire civilizations."

If you understand any of the above then you will realise this is a ancient killer class, Very Fast Picket or demilitarised Rapid Offensive unit, sidegraded into a military shuttle.

75 X 29 X 16 Meters (smallest class of dedicated culture warship).
17 K resource.
Blocks 7 k.
Volume 15 K
fuel for 20 mins heavy combat
resources and steam for 35 mins heavy combat










@Iain Im honoured to be the inspiration, but cheradenine, for christs sake. FU for the gay ass name
I never would have thought you would sublime first.







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