What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sitting here, discussing it with you, now would I?!...

Hey, look, buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like, "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems....

I am Heavy Weapons Guy. And this... is my weapon. She weighs 150 kilograms and fires $200 custom-tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. It cost $400,000 to fire this weapon...for 12 seconds....

That was doctor assisted homicide....

Everyone Else: OOOHH MY GOD! I'M ON FIRE!!!!!...

Ya' listenin'? OK. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha'- I hurt people....

Sniping's a good job, mate! It's challenging work, out-of-doors... I guarantee you'll not go hungry, 'cause at the end of the day, as long as there are two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead....

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!... ." Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it, so that no living man could best him in the ring ...

Promise not to bleed on my suit and I'll kill you quickly....