Getting up can be hard as a mercenary, every morning you lay in bed thinking "Same old map, same old story. Can I really be bothered killing the same set of Spies and Snipers again?".

After lacking the motivation to get up, you then drift back off to sleep, however, unbeknownst to you those no-good assassins have wiped out your entire defence (somehow) and made off with your intelligence. You then face the shame of explaining the morning's events to your boss, followed by the inevitable termination of your contract which forces you into a job explaining the technical functions of Mann Co. weaponry to newer mercs over a crackly landline, leading you back to the memory of that fateful day, wondering "What would have happened if I just got up that day?".

After reading this poorly constructed scenario, you dear reader, must be quaking in your proverbial boots. How can I prevent such a scenario ever happening to me, how did you get my number, and just WHAT exactly does the Rocket Jumper do?

The answer to one of these questions is simple: What you need my friend, is a device that alerts you to your designated waking period, preferably located right above your auditory receivers. Luckily for you, such a device is now available for the low low cost of [INSERT HIGH % MARKUP HERE].

This newly developed time-based-alertness-raising-call-to-arms device can be attached to any hat of your choosing. Simply attach the device and be awoken to the calming and melodious sound of metal rapidly hitting another piece of metal.

Doesn't require batteries or electricity!
Comes with a choice of two very distinct semi-tone alarms!
Be the early bird to the battlefield, take on those worms and maggots before anyone else!

(Note from supplier: As device does not require power, alarm is unable to be turned off until the set alarm time has passed. D̶e̶v̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶c̶k̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶a̶r̶m̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶e̶v̶e̶r̶a̶l̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ ).

Made for the Particle Mayhem community TF2 event, which can be found here: http://particle-mayhem.tf2maps.net/