Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2

33 ratings
Funny Binds
By Silience
A collection of the funny insults/statements I've seen thrown around during my time playing.
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Introduction
I'm not a clever person. If you're here, neither are you. But that's okay! Here's a guide full of clever binds to make you feel better about yourself!

This guide consists of a collection of insults/statements that I saw while playing and made me laugh. Unfortunately, over the course of collecting these binds, I didn't think to write down the profiles of those who said them. Please reach out to me if any of these were yours and credit will be applied.

Feel free to suggest additional binds and if accepted, you will be credited for contributing.
Offense Classes
Scout

• I don't believe in meat shots. I'm a vegan.

• I require a mechanical device that provides ammunition, medical aid, and scrap metal at my direct location!

Soldier

• Do you have a foot fetish or something? Because you only shoot at feet.

• Soldier mains are just Pyro mains in disguise.

Pyro

• Salt makes you dehydrated, which only makes you more susceptible to fire.

• That Pyro used all of his skill to kill you

• Remember kids, if you hold M1 long enough, everyone dies.

• More gain, less aim, no brain, Pyro main.

• Hold me like you hold M1

• The phlog isn't broken, you are.

• That burning you feel? It is Pyro

• Come on out you baguettes!
Defense Classes
Demoman

• If you land shots as Demoman you aren't roleplaying right.

• Spam is a legitimate tactic and I do not appreciate you speaking ill of it

• All Demomen are boomers

• Looks like he's going to need 2 eye patches now

Heavy

• Heavy is just bullet Pyro. Change my mind.

• POV: You couldn't outsmart bullet

• You are dead. Soup and rice.

Engineer

• Yee, and dare I say, haw!

• You've yeed your last haw!

• My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my sentry. Prepare to die!

Support Classes
Medic

• Uber has been popped like a balloon! You'll float too!!

• Medics can't fix stupid, we can only reduce it.

• I can't tell where the Heavy ends and the pocket begins...

• Hey, is that an unusual Medigun skin? Because you dropped it like it's hot

• Hey Medic, do you like Dubstep? Cause that drop was intense!

Sniper

• Scout was nimble, Scout was quick, but he couldn't outrun my quick scope flick.

• I can't believe they based the 8th class off of the ambassador.

• Oh you better hope I don't suddenly get better at Sniper!

Spy

• LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES WHEN I BACKSTAB YOU! >:l

• Watch out friends, I've noticed an individual committing espionage in the vicinity!

• Robbie Rotten wasn't the only master of disguise

• You can't DR out of a relationship, can you?

• Spy check? More like vibe check.

• Watch out! I got a knife and don't know how to use it!

• Not all spy mains are weebs, but all weebs are spy mains.
Gamemode Specific
MvM

Alexa, press F4

Capture the Flag

• Can we have the intel pretty please?

Payload

• Pub players in OT = plat players

• Pl_interp is the best map

• I tried so hard to stop the cart but they just ran it over my body

Trade Servers

• Buying a life (not the taunt)
Friendlies / Tryhards
Friendly

• Everything was at peace. Until the tryhard nation attacked.

• T-pose for dominance

• FUN FACT: Did you know, that when you don't accept a Hoovie's Sandvich, they spontaneously combust?

• Would you stop? I'm drowning in your tryhard sweat!

• How can you grip your mouse with all that sweat?

• Please stop shooting me without my permission.

• Your head must hurt, hitting the skill ceiling like that.

• Careful man, you'll cut yourself with all that edge you got going on

• CAN YOU DON'T?

Tryhard

• I learned something today. If you kill a friendly, they become a 'not-so-friendly'

• How can I be a tryhard if I don't even try?

• Will you bug off? I'm trying to kill friendlies!

• Good thing I main tryhard!

• I haven't lost my virginity because I NEVER LOSE!

• I'd like to thank the academy, my manager, and the guy I just killed for building my killstreak!

• This town ain't big enough for the both of us...

• If someone asks you to stop spawn camping, tell them to stop spawning!
Win / Lose
Win

• Sorry, I can't hear you from the bottom of the leaderboard.

• !slay @red

Lose

• We win the moral battle

• No! My only weakness! Dying!

• You only killed me because I ran out of health!

• I'd like you all to be pallbearers at my funeral so I'll know that my team will let me down one last time.

• The score says REKT, but you're all MVPS in my heart.

• You may have killed me but my hat is better.

• I would've had you, but my reaction time is that of a dead person.
Insults
• You should let your chair play. At least it knows how to support.

• This guy has the map awareness of Christopher Columbus

• It's like you're fighting me AND your own mouse

• Dom·i·na·ted (/ˈdäməˌnāted/) - adj: [1] To be controlled by a greater force [2] You

• I don't know what gets fewer hits. Your aim, or your online dating profile.

• Uh oh! Somebody call the WAAAHmbulance

• What's the difference between you and a mosquito? You won't stop sucking after I slap you.

• Your insults are as predictable as your movement!

www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Anger-Caused-by-Video-Games

• If you spent less time typing and more time clicking M1, you might not be losing.

• I hope your day is as pleasant as you are

• If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth

• You're not being the kind of person Mr. Rogers knew you could be

• This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, spatial awareness, crosshair placement, positioning, getting kills, and not dying
Criticals
• The video ends when I die to a random crit [0:00]

• Crits? The main cause of death? It's more likely than you think!

• This random crit was sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends

• Random crits? Surprising. But not as surprising as saving 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico

• And I would've gotten away from it, too. If it weren't for your meddling crits!

• Nice random burst of high-quality skill

• My luck is bigger than yours!

• Crit apology
Voice Chat
• Can you stop talking on your flip phone? And in a hurricane for that matter?

• Please don't use voice chat if you're under the age of 'fetus'

• Meet the mute button

• !gag @all

Other Binds
"gl hf" Response: Don't tell me what to do!

Without my binds I am nothing.

The next map Imma /gamemode 1 yall

This is a hat simulator, not a hate simulator...

As a Gibus player, I must taunt after every kill to assert my dominance

What a terrible day to have eyes

Shall I kiss the wound?

What the fart just happened?

• McScuse me?!?!

• 1V1 MINECRAFT HUNGERGAMES, NO DIAMOND.

• tf2 has been died for years, it was almost died when I was 6, and right now. I am 10.

Bonus:
Cool Console Binds

map_background background01 (This turns the homepage background into the ps3 and xbox versions of tf2)

map_background_koth_viaduct;tf_bot_add 18; tf_bot_quota 0 (This should spawn bots battling on your home screen)

Bind "/" +movedown (When you press / on a moving taunt, it should significantly slow down your speed)



Closing
Thank you for reading through this collection of binds.

If you have any binds you'd like to suggest you may do so in the comments. I won't add any overly vulgar binds though.


Any feedback/suggestions would greatly be appreciated. :)


Other guides:


https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2982453574

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1413872226

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=756421743

https://steamhost.cn/steamcommunity_com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3307355983
5 Comments
missing 29 Aug, 2024 @ 3:31am 
+movedown slows your overall speed, not just taunts
Pwnzorz 23 Aug, 2024 @ 11:53pm 
crit bind:
"That crit was close to being quadragular, but no fruit cup."
imbued with an ancient power from Quake 2's files
Antiiilluminatisquad 14 Aug, 2024 @ 4:48pm 
A banger I saw for the demoman who was dominating the server was "theres no way that dude is black" Great guide, I have new ways to bait cowards!
Silience  [author] 8 Aug, 2024 @ 6:28pm 
@grub now that's some dedication! Glad you liked the guide!
grub 8 Aug, 2024 @ 6:15pm 
These are amazing, i have a second keyboard just for binds, it now has a purpose