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Baked Beans of Skyrim (with gas simulator)

Baked Beans of Skyrim (with accompanying Gas Simulation System)

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Available on Skyrim Nexus, which is where you should get it unless you just can't for some reason:
http://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/52614

The version on Nexus will be updated more frequently and also has a patch to support Realistic Needs and Diseases. You should go get it from there.

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Complete your immersive experience with the new comfort food of Skyrim. Nothing can compare to beans heated over an open flame! Portable and filling, baked beans offer a warm supper on those nights when cooking complex meals just isn't an option. Adventurers young and old can appreciate the wholesomeness of baked beans. But wait, there's more! These aren't just ANY baked beans... these are the Baked Beans of Skyrim!

Baked Beans of Skyrim is completely compatible with that most popular of shelter mods, “Frostfall”! Take your role playing experience to a whole other level.! Add richness and flavor to your dungeon runs, with effects and special bonuses actually make you and your targets behave in exciting and new interactive ways!

In their eco-friendly jars, it's easy to pick up as many beans as you need. They stay fresher longer than unpackaged vegetables, roots, leaves, or fruit. All you need is a campfire or cook pot and *BAM* you've got some beans goin'!


Oooookay... so where do I-

I'm so glad you asked! You can buy delicious cooked Baked Beans from most Innkeepers in the Skyrim mainland. You can also buy sealed glass jars chock full of ready-to-cook beans that will never spoil and require nothing but a cook pot to prepare!


Features


New food item: Bowl of Baked Beans
New misc item: Jar of beans
New custom meshes (for the beans)
Brand new textures (for the beans)
Wide range of quality sound effects


Why, Baked Beans of Skyrim not only introduces hot, steaming, delicious, nutritious Baked Beans to the world of Skyrim, but does so with compatibility in mind, and works so nicely with other popular mods!


But why would a simple food mod need compatibility?

Never mind WHY, old chum, the point is that is IS compatible! Completely compatible!


Compatible with what, exactly?

Well, Frostfall, for a start: Baked Beans of Skyrim are counted as a hot meal by Frostfall, so take some with you when you go out into that cold night air!

Baked Beans of Skyrim supports all food added by the following mods:


Hearthfire DLC
Dragonborn DLC
Realistic Needs and Diseases
Imp's More Complex Needs
ZF Primary Needs
Eat and Sleep
Osare Foods
Cooking Expanded
Babette's Feast
Real Wildlife - Skyrim
Realistic Wildlife Loot And Recipes


In addition, a bowl of Baked Beans will be counted as a medium-sized meal in:
Realistic Needs and Diseases (Requires patch, available on Skyrim Nexus)
iNeed (no patch required, medium meal)
ZF Primary Needs (no patch required, but does not spoil currently. Patch is coming.)
Eat and Sleep (no patch required, medium meal, spoils in 3 days)


So there shouldn't be any requirements...

Nope! You should use SKSE, though. The Baked Beans will be more efficacious and offer better immersion, and let's face it, you should have it installed already anyway!

Yes, it does make you fart!

"Farting" hardly does it justice! Baked Beans of Skyrim is a sophisticated digestion-tracking system. It notes the gas content of the various foods you consume, tracks them as they go through your innards, monitors the resulting internal pressures, and finally makes sure that the resulting miasma escapes in a fairly realistic fashion.

The practical upshot of all this is that you will fart vigorously after consuming foods that are, on Earth as on Nirn, renowned for their musical properties. Not merely the eponymous beans, mind you, but a whole variety of starchy, high-fiber or high-fat foods. This is why I had to write in support for other food mods: if you devoured a fried egg from Osare Food, a fruit pie from Babette's Feast, and a cheese-stuffed gourd from Cooking Expanded and then didn't shatter some windows afterward, I could hardly call it immersive, could I?


Become a social pariah for fun and profit

The more gas-laden foods you eat, the more powerful the resulting effluvium. A couple of leeks will do you no lasting harm (a few one-cheek squeaks, perhaps, that could be blamed on the dog). If, however, you pause in the middle of a fight to eat 6 bowls of beans, 4 baked potatoes, a slab of horsemeat and 26 cheese wheels, then you (and everyone around you) can expect to be paying the consequences of your capricious gluttony for hours to come.

Nor is this a mere sound effect, oh no. That would be too easy. You may find your ill-tempered zephyrs giving away your position to bandits, draugr, dragons, and indeed anything with sharper ears than a deaf mudcrab. Even your friends and followers will gaze upon you in disgust, and you may find merchants hard to deal with (and rightfully so!)

You will, at least, have plenty of warning. When your gut is heavy with your greed-fueled bonanza, you'll hear various grumblings and rumblings, as if you swallowed a camel that itself swallowed an oil refinery. Shortly thereafter, the symphony will begin with a few staccato blats and toots, letting you know the tubas and sousaphones are only moments away from really cutting loose.

The only cure, at least for now, is time: Skyrim is a simple land, having only recently discovered geared watermills, covered wagons, and organized crime, and as such probably won't address its severe lack of antacids anytime soon. Running may cause you to blow off the pressure a bit faster, as will jumping in place. But digestion takes time, and you're unlikely to be able to get rid of all of it all at once.


But why, Vert? Why?

What can I say? Farts are funny. Would you believe it was my wife's idea? No, seriously.

Whatever else it may be, Baked Beans of Skyrim is probably the most advanced fart system in gaming today. I hope you laugh as hard playing with it as I did making it!