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Which plants are gooners?: a full directory

By Roemint

So we all know that 70% of all zombies are sex offenders, right? Well i wanted to know: what plants are shlickity shloinking their shlong to GW34? from peashooter to cob cannon (+bonuses), what plants are gooners?

Award

Created by

Roemint
Online

Category: Characters, Story or Lore

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

15 May, 2024 @ 10:18pm

16 May, 2024 @ 4:57pm

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Guide Index

Overview

Peashooter (no)

Sunflower (no)

Cherry Bomb (no)

Wall-Nut (YES!!!)

Potato Mine (100% yes)

Snow Pea (Yes)

Chomper (No)

Repeater (Kind of)

Puff Shroom (unwillingly so)

Sun Shroom (no)

Fume Shroom (yes)

Grave Buster (no)

Hypno Shroom (yes)

Scaredy Shroom (No)

Ice Shroom (no)

Doom Shroom (Nope)

Lily Pad (surprisingly, yes)

Squash (He-Hell No!)

Threepeater (No x2)

Tangle Kelp (Yes)

Jalapeno (Yes, actually)

Spikeweed (no)

Torchwood (no)

Tall Nut (no)

Sea Shroom (yes)

Plantern (Yes)

Cactus (yeah)

Blover (No)

Split Pea (Yes x2, again)

Starfruit (Yes)

Pumpkin (yes)

Magnet Shroom (Yes)

Cabbage-Pult (no)

Flower Pot (yes)

Kernel-Pult (He damn well tries)

Coffee Bean (24/7)

Garlic (no)

Umbrella Leaf (Yes)

Marigold (No)

Melon-Pult (Yes)

Gatling Pea (yes)

Twin Sunflower (No)

Gloom Shroom (No)

Cattail (No)

Winter-Pult (No)

Coin Magnet (Yes)

Spikerock (Yes)

Cob Cannon (Yes!!!!)

Imitater (???)

Bonus lightning round!

Final list of gooners.

Comments

Peashooter (no)

Okay, starting out with an interesting one. I think the peashooter ISN'T a gooner. Why? Because clearly he has sex with the sunflower every Wednesday. I saw it happen. And although that does make him a kid twiddler, it doesn't make him a gooner.

Sunflower (no)

The sunflower is obviously NOT a gooner. She's 13 + the whole peashooter thing. Although if being gooned to earned you a medal, she'd have more than every war veteran ever combined.

Cherry Bomb (no)

Cherry Bomb is NOT a gooner because once you place him down, he INSTANTLY explodonates. he can't edge, goon, or even mew. And he doesn't have to. Because it's cherry bomb, that's why. Sorry that none of them are gooners, but we're just starting to get to the good stuff.

Wall-Nut (YES!!!)

Ok, I know what you're thinking. "how the hell is he a gooner?". Well have you EVER thought about why he sits there and does nothing? It's because he can shoot with his arms (he's hiding them), but he's too busy gooning to do anything! He definitely goons more than even the No. 1 gooner, the Giggly Goon Clown.

Potato Mine (100% yes)

Potato mine is obviously a gooner, I mean, what do you think he's doing while he's underground? Planning? No, he's clearly edging! Not to mention if you place him too late he edges getting eaten by a zombie (sometimes failing).

Snow Pea (Yes)

This is a somewhat controversial, less obvious one. But I think he is. Why? Because, think about it. He slows zombies. And when the zombies get to him, do you know what they do? They eat him slower. Snow Pea edges being eaten by zombies, similar to Potato Mine. Not to mention he uses ice cubes on himself when he's gooning because he's freaky like that.

Chomper (No)

Chomper is NOT a gooner. He is a god fearing man. He has a god fearing wife and kids (The Odyssey reference). He has good christian values that keep him away from gooning and keep him towards killing the unholy (zombies). Chomper respects women and puts gold bricks in homeless peoples donation buckets. Unless he's in a 3D form. Then it's compost for him.

Repeater (Kind of)

Repeater is an iffy one. Because he watches with a chastity cage when peashooter "does it" with sunflower. And he desperately tries to goon. but his girlfriends boyfriend (peashooter) says he can't take the cage off. And no games after 7:00 PM.

Puff Shroom (unwillingly so)

The Puff Shroom doesn't want to goon. But when some of the other shrooms feel like it, they use him as a flesh light. They call it puff puff pass, and it happens every saturday at 7:00 PM. Feel free to join by calling 555-PUF-PASS.

Sun Shroom (no)

Sun Shroom doesn't even know what gooning is. They come from an old orphan home in the middle of nowhere without any devices. And besides, they're a grower, not a shower.

Fume Shroom (yes)

Fume Shroom can't stop thinking about big booty oiled up digger zombie twerking with efficiency and velocity, and it's really weighing them down as a person. When did pvz get so relatable?

Grave Buster (no)

Grave Buster definitely doesn't goon. Just look at the name. Grave Buster. And he only takes like 8 seconds to remove a grave, thus busting instantly.

Hypno Shroom (yes)

Hypno Shroom goons 24/7/365/2024. How so? Well have you ever thought about why they possess zombies? It's because they want to have the label of a sex offender, without actually offending sex (they're into being blamed for things they didn't do). And they definely smoke shrooms before edging, which makes them a cannibal! Keep Hypno Shroom away from your family and your figurine collection.

Scaredy Shroom (No)

Scaredy Shroom DEMONSTRATES that they don't goon in how they work. When a zombie gets close, they just let it happen, thus not being able to edge being eaten by one. Scaredy Shroom is too busy being scared to have time to edge anyways. But he is an incel.

Ice Shroom (no)

I'm just going to throw this out there for any plant that instantly goes off when you place it, because that means they DON'T GOON. And even if snow pea attempts to make them goon together (Snow Pea is on some freak stuff), Ice Shroom would NEVER.

Doom Shroom (Nope)

I know what you're thinking. "Doom Shroom, more like Goon Shroom". Well Doom Shroom is too busy sleeping in the day and to busy defending Neighborville from evil that lurks during night (bro thinks he's batman).

Lily Pad (surprisingly, yes)

I know this sounds confusing, "How?" you might be thinking. Well I have a theory. A lily pad is too heavy too float. I know that sounds dumb but bear with me. So the seed company Bloom & Doom sells plants with organs and other animal-like features, as evidenced by Chomper having a tongue & digestive system. Well those organs must be too heavy, making the Lily Pad too heavy to float. Well, you might ask "How does it stay above the water?". I have an answer. It has a 2 foot long drakenator that it hides underwater, standing on it like a table. This also explains why it's able to carry heavy plants like Melon-Pult and Cob Cannon.

Squash (He-Hell No!)

Squash is too "Based and Trump-Pilled" to goon. Squash believes this is gods country, gods land, and he's going to practice his 2nd amendment rights with his guns, not his thangalang. Squash is too busy scrolling through Overwatch fun fact youtube shorts and Patrick Bateman x Gigachad gay sex edits to goon anyways.

Threepeater (No x2)

So you know how Repeater watches Peashooter & Sunflower? Well Threepeater watches Repeater watching Peashooter & Sunflower. And they wear 3 chastity cages, one for each guy.

Tangle Kelp (Yes)

I've been starting all these entries the same, so just let me state it bluntly: There's actually a Snow Pea in the middle of the kelp gooning with ice cubes (Snow Pea is the #1 most freakiest plant).

Jalapeno (Yes, actually)

"Hey wait, you said insta-kills can't be gooners!!!!!!" Well look at that face. And in it's description it implies he's always close to busting, stating "He's not going to explode, Not this time. But soon". Also this png tall as hell so here's Ecclesiastes 3:1-3.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

Spikeweed (no)

Spikeweed is too sigma to goon, obviously. But he does have a fetish for his drink being spiked and him being date-raped. He even named himself after it. How quaint. He also likes being stepped on too. Same!!!!!

Torchwood (no)

Torchwood can't even read, let alone goon. No offense but... he's too wholesome, he could never. We love Torchwood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tall Nut (no)

"Oh, so Wall Nut is a gooner but Tall Nut isn't? Erm... bias! Reported guide for hate speech!" Well think about it. If you don't goon, or edge, or bust for a long time, you get more nut. And what is Tall Nut? It's Wall Nut with more nut.

Sea Shroom (yes)

"So Puff Shroom isn't a gooner but Sea Shroom isn't? " Well take a look at them again. Notice anything? Well it has 5 limbs under the surface. 2 for arms, 2 for legs, and 1 for it's... 3 FOOT LONG DRAKEY SNAKEY!!!

Plantern (Yes)

Plantern relies on 100% naturally sourced, cruelty free, cage free (repeater can't relate), bust free, darkness free, women free (I WANNA SEE MEN!), gluten free, non-GMO, non-processed, environmentally safe, fog free gooning power (batteries not included).

Cactus (yeah)

Cactus has to goon on hard mode, with the spikes and all. BUT THEY LIKE THAT!!! (#2 freakiest plant, behind Snow Pea).

Blover (No)

Blover is giving zombies blowie-owies for 3$ behind Dave's house. And of course, as they're zombies, they gave Blover every STD ever made, making touching themselves not even worth it.

Split Pea (Yes x2, again)

Split Pea has a special policy. Only one of them can goon at a time, and the other gets to watch. And they're very open about it. VERY OPEN. Cause they're into that (like 7th most freaky plant). Oh, and the image cuts off, so i'm killing mice elf later (censorship!!!).

Starfruit (Yes)

Starfruit works on a similar logic as Sea Shroom, having 5 limbs, one being their caked up drake. But the difference is, they actually shoot out of the limbs, making them 6x as freaky as Sea Shroom (#3 freakiest plant)

Pumpkin (yes)

OK, that's the face of someone who's secretly gooning and knows you know and he's into that because he craves attention because his parents were never really there for him growing up and it's really weighing him down.

Magnet Shroom (Yes)

Magnet Shroom is most known for taking the helmets off of bucket heads, right? Well that means they are obviously gooning and busting in the buckets, making a collection of sorts. Duh. This also means every plant in the fog levels, except for blover, is a gooner. Must be something in the fog.

Cabbage-Pult (no)

Cabbage-Pult would LIKE to goon, but their "zzzaddy" says otherwise. Cabbage-Pult wears cat-ear headphones and has a Valorant e-boyfriend, plus they watch lankybox & DaFuq!? BOOM! everyday. Put them out of their misery already.

Flower Pot (yes)

Flower Pot is into them GILFs. I would know, Flower Pot is my friend, and they reference this regularly. "I want to hear it RATTLE, like i'm playing the tambourine!"

Kernel-Pult (He damn well tries)

Kernel-Pult is constantly edging on the battlefield, but he fails so often, resulting in the "Butter". Keep in mind they bust to EVERY zombie. Conehead: Uuuaaaagh. Buckethead: OOOOOOG! Gargantuar: WAAAUUG! Imp: IEEEEEEEEEEEGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGH!!!

Coffee Bean (24/7)

"I'M OFF THAT PERC 700 DAWG, THEY DON'T KNOW THAT I'M HIM!" "I'M GOONING AT SUCH SPEEDS THEY CALL ME THE JERKINATOR, DAWG!" "I'M MAKING THEM CREAM, THEY CALL ME THE JIZZARD!" "OHH GOD THIS PUFF-SHROOM GOES CRAZY, ANYWAY WHO'S NEXT?"

Garlic (no)

I don't know Garlic that well so i tried to interview him, but he wouldn't answer anything, so here's an interview with Coffee Bean: "OH YEAH, GARLIC? HE'S GOT THAT STANKY PANK, DAWG!" "HIS PINK SKIDMARKED PANTIES GO HARD, DAWG!" "BUT NO, HE DOESN'T GOON, HE'S A BOTTOM, GAWG!" (and yes that was an excuse for more Coffee Bean lines)

Umbrella Leaf (Yes)

All Umbrella Leaf does is smoke meth and watch R34 videos. Need I say more? "HEY THERE, DAW-" Get out Coffee Bean. 3 in a row is TOO MANY.

Marigold (No)

Do you ever wonder how Marigold makes those coins? Well obviously, Marigold has to be Pimpin' Hot Stuff (Pizza Tower reference). "I'm too damn busy calculating to goon, homie!" "That's how winners stay ahead."

Melon-Pult (Yes)

Ending the story mode plants off with a bang, and i'm not talking about the gunshot variety. Remember Kernel-Pults "zzzaddy"? Well this is them. Them and Marigold are using Cabbage-Pult, Blover, and Puff-Shroom as a prostitute on top of Dave's roof (and in his car, but don't tell them). IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!! Oh yeah Melon-Pult plays Valorant too and he goons while playing it, while Marigold does the tough work.

Gatling Pea (yes)

Oh, you thought it would be watching Threepeater watching Repeater watching Peashooter and Sunflower? Oh, you silly thing. Gatling Pea, thanks to his upgraded form, has broken free of the cage (don't ask what the gun barrel really is. He still chooses to watch, though.

Twin Sunflower (No)

I'm just going to say this for all sunflowers, they CAN'T GOON. And even if Split Pea tries to convince them to goon with them (they wanna be Snow Pea so bad!!!), Twin Sunflower would NEVER. Hey wait, this sounds familiar...

Gloom Shroom (No)

Gloom Shroom is too sad to goon. But i have a story to tell about how they almost became the subject of Puff Puff Pass. So they tried to break out of their sadness, so they stepped outside, and the first thing they saw was an ad for Puff Puff Pass. "HOT PUFF-SHROOMS IN YOUR AREA!". "I guess I'll try it..." and so he arrived there at 7PM. And then Coffee Bean saw them. "YO, DAWG, THIS ONE'S GOT 8 HOLES!" and then Melon-Pult saw them. "Oh yeah, i gotta try this, homie." and then Gloom Shroom Fumed his Melon-Doodle right off... "OWW, MY MELONS!" "Whoops..." and so Gloom Shroom never stepped outside again.

Cattail (No)

"Bust!" says Cattail "Bust!" "Bust!" "What, you think I would goon just because i'm a plant?" "I refuse to be pigeonholed, I bust INSTANTLY."

Winter-Pult (No)

"Melon-Pult, it's me from the future!" "Well why are you here?" "Don't go to Puff Puff Pass on 3/2/2009!" "Ok... I guess... (homie)" (He proceeded to forget 2 Puff Puff Passes later). (Winter-Pult doesn't goon because his Drakey-Pult is ripped off, remember?)

Coin Magnet (Yes)

Marigold is pimping, right? Well Coin Magnet is her "zzzaddy", and he's the manager of gooning. The lore runs deep, buddy. I'm going CRAZY PLEASE HELP I HATE THIS GUIDE PLEA haha gooning.

Spikerock (Yes)

Spikerock, instead of being into getting spiked and stepped on, is now into pain and being stepped on. "Go ahead, drive on me zzzaddy zomboni!" Also got into gooning, thinking of naming themself Spikegoon.

Cob Cannon (Yes!!!!)

The last upgrade plant. Anyways, think about it. It takes 2 Kernel-Pults to get them. And what does Kernel-Pult do? Constantly bust to EVERYONE. And Cob Cannon explodes EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME.

Imitater (???)

"I've been the one behind the scenes the whole time, watching ALL of you." "Snow Pea, Puff Shroom, Melon-Pult, ALL OF THEM!" "Oh, and I goon from time to time." "With no videos, only guts. Guts and a spoon." "May the new legion of gooning COMMENCE!" "You thought Chomper was a good guy?" "HE DOES ALL THAT GOOD STUFF TO HIDE THE FACT HE'S THE BIGGEST GOONER BY FAR!" "ALL OF THEM SHALL GOON, EDGE, AND MEW SOON, AND I HOW CARE HOW MUCH I HAVE TO POISON THE FOG!" "ONE DAY!.."

Bonus lightning round!

Now for the table scraps.

Crazy Dave: Yes, he twiddies with his dinkies all day.

Stinky the Snail: Yes, but only if you give him chocolate.

Angel Garlic (Don't ask): Too angelic to goon, so no.

Final list of gooners.

And finally, the gooners are: Wall-nut, Potato Mine, Snow Pea, Chomper (shh), Fume Shroom, Hypno Shroom, Lily Pad, Tangle Kelp, Jalapeno, Sea-Shroom, Plantern, Cactus, Split Pea, Starfruit, Pumpkin, Magnet Shroom, Flower Pot, Kernel Pult(?), Coffee Bean, Umbrella Leaf, Melon-Pult, Coin Magnet, Spikerock, Cob Cannon, Imitater, Crazy Dave, Stinky the Snail (kinda). Truly a gooners paradise. That's the end of the guide. Go home.

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