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HEXEN LOCUST ICBM

Basscat here, from HEXEN ENTERPRISES. Now, let me tell you about the LOCUST ICBM. If you thought the LEGION was top-tier, you’re gonna want to buckle up, because we just threw the rulebook out the window and wrote a new one on the ashes.

Remember the old LEGION missile? Yeah, that thing was impressive—when it wasn’t taking a nap. See, LEGION had this little issue where it’d run out of fuel, so we slapped on a dormancy mode to keep it operational. Clever? Sure. But who’s got time for naps?

The LOCUST doesn’t need naps. It doesn’t need a snack break. It’s got infinite range. You fire it, and it just keeps going. No dormancy, no fuel limits—just pure, unadulterated, target-hunting mayhem until there’s nothing left standing. No more naps, just nightmares.

Here’s the beauty of it: the LOCUST is the last thing you never see. The LEGION was fast—180 meters per second fast. But speed isn’t everything, folks. We slowed this bad boy down to 150 m/s. Why? Because stealth is the real killer. The LOCUST doesn’t announce its arrival with a big flashing sign. No, it sneaks up on you like a cat stalking a mouse. By the time you know it’s there, well, you’ve got about 2 seconds to regret all your life choices.

Now, let’s talk about how fast we’re cranking these out. LEGION was great, but it had a production speed limit. Not anymore. LOCUST missiles roll off the line so fast, you’ll think we’ve broken physics. We’re talking more missiles, faster. It’s like running a missile assembly line with a jet engine strapped to it. Forget about conserving resources—we’re here to make history, and history’s written by the ones with the most explosions.

Oh, and I almost forgot the best part: the beep. When the LOCUST locks onto a target, it’s not just a missile. It’s an alarm clock of doom. It starts off with this low, eerie beep, and as it closes in, that beep gets faster, higher-pitched, more frantic. By the time it’s over your head, it sounds like the universe’s worst game show countdown. It’s psychological warfare, people—they’ll hear it before they feel it, and by then, it’s too late. That’s how you win a war, by making the enemy afraid of every little noise they hear.

Oh yeah, and LEGION had this neat little trick where it could recycle itself. Guess what? We ditched it. Recycling’s for soda cans, not weapons of mass destruction. The LOCUST doesn’t bother with that. Why? Because we don’t need to. We’re producing so many missiles so fast that recycling would just slow us down. So, we downgraded that feature in favor of maximum destruction.