Are your movies too boring, too safe, not made of enough explosive and/or flammable materials?
We at Mann Co. introduce the all new (old fashioned) "Cranium Attached Feature Length Film On Fire Starring A Firepit!"
Or CAFLFOFSAF for short(ish)!

Now you too can wear a lovely fireplace film burning away all those harmful materials (your head hair) while putting those chemicals to good use!
Get ready mercenaries, coming to a cinema near you!

- Saxton Hale

Mann Co. is not responsible for the inevitable cinema burnings from possessing such a dangerously outdated (cool) form of entertainment.

Concept & Particles - Cheesypuff
Sprites & Promos - Skibuster