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Nick Bateman (Alternative)

Nick: You like Huey Lewis and the News?

Ellis: Um, they're okay.

Nick: Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

Ellis: Hey, Halberstram?

Nick: Yes, Ellis?

Ellis: Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place? Do you... Do you have a dog? A little chow or something?

Nick: No, Ellis.

Ellis: Is that a raincoat?

Nick: Yes, it is. In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Ellis!

Nick murders Ellis with an axe

Nick: Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you f*ckin' stupid bastard!

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