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The Raccoon Reckoning: Rodent Meat Reclassified

As a former biologist, I am really bothered to see raccoons classified as rodents.

They are not rodents. In fact they belong to the procyonid family and are more closely related to weasels and bears.

This is a simple mod that reclassifies "Rodent Meat" as "Small Animal Meat".

Here's what happened:

The year is 1993. Civilization clings to order with duct tape and denial. In the ashes of ecological collapse and late-stage capitalism, a single memo from the Department of Food Identity and Classification sends shockwaves across the crumbling remnants of society: “Effective immediately, raccoons are to be reclassified as rodents.”

What starts as a bureaucratic hiccup spirals into utter pandemonium. Hunting laws implode. Street food stalls go rogue. Five-star chefs riot. Backwoods survivalists rejoice. Vegan militias march. And somewhere in a fortified basement bunker, a government whistleblower gnaws on smoked raccoon jerky while uploading the truth to the darknet.

Enter Kate, a disgraced food inspector turned underground document smuggler with a raccoon sidekick named Spiffo. She’s on a mission to uncover the sinister origins of the reclassification.

Blending post-apocalyptic satire, culinary horror, and rodent-based resistance, The Raccoon Reckoning is a darkly hilarious, hyper-paranoid tale of identity, meat, and what happens when you underestimate the raccoons.

Tagline:
They called them pests. They called them dinner. But they never asked... what do the raccoons call us?

Workshop ID: 3449554731
Mod ID: MeNoRodent