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Jailbreak:The Final Chapter

Here is the latest instalment of Jailbreak ( used to be knows as Jailbreak:Shtate ), which is known as well, Jailbreak, no funny names for u to find it under gamemodes....JUST JAILBREAK

Due to my new university and job I no longer have time to keep them updated. These were originally made for my own gaming communities and they served me very well over the years.

SUPPORTS ALL MAPS AND REBEL MODES..SO GO FUN URSELF MORONS



a guy is walking when suddenly falls and injures his hand. on his way to the hospital, he sees this huge ad on a new machine,the ad claimed that the machine is able to diagnose any disease and write treatment plans for it only by taking urine sample. the man walks to the machine puts a penny in it and then gives the sample. after a few beeps, a note comes out "your hand's tendon is injured, don't put it under any stress and exercise". the man was amazed and decides to mess with the machine, so when he reaches home, he takes a bottle, then pours some water in it, then makes his dog urinate in it, and then sees his daughter's chewed gum on floor so puts it on the bottle also, and finally to sum it up, masturbates in the bottle. then heads towards the machine and gives the sample to the machine. after 10 minutes of strange noises and sounds that machine made, a note comes out "your water pipe will clog soon, be sure to fix it. your dog will die in 2 weeks, be prepared for it. your daughter is pregnant, go beat the boy living upstairs. and if u keep masturbating like this, your injured tendon won't heal!"

Me:Dude,you should see the movie i watched yesterday.It is messed up.
Friend:Well whats it about?
Me:Its about a guy whose wife is brutally murdered,leaving his son physically disabled and in a twisted turn of events his son gets kidnapped and he has to find his sons kidnappers with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Friend:Cool whats it called?
Me:Finding Nemo

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥." And the idiot went to heaven, while the Devil went to Hell.

Morale of the story:
Read Less Imbecile