Have you ever pondered the profound implications of ratifying a rat? Our latest theory, highly scientific in its absurdity, delves into this very question. If we ratify our rat, does it gain extraordinary powers over other rats, whether ratified or regular? The answer, much to our chagrin, is a resounding no. A ratified rat, despite its elevated status, cannot wield its newfound influence over another ratified rat. It's a paradox of ratification, if you will.

But our experimentation did not end there. We ventured into the realm of speed, introducing a speedified rat into the mix. Now, one might hypothesize that a speedified rat, with its boundless energy, would be hampered by the staid, methodical nature of a ratified rat. However, in a delightful twist, the speedified rat zoomed past the ratified rat, unimpeded and seemingly untouched by the bureaucratic aura of ratification.

This led us to an even more curious discovery: the behavior of kats (or cats, as they are more commonly known) in this whimsical ecosystem. When introduced to the conundrum of ratified and speedified rats, the kats displayed a remarkable indifference. It appears that kats, in their feline wisdom, are immune to the trivialities of rat status, be it ratified, speedified, or otherwise.

And what of the bats, you ask? Ah, the bats. In the twilight hours, they observe this spectacle from above, their silent wings whispering secrets of the night. Unconcerned with the terrestrial trials of rats and kats, the bats continue their nocturnal ballet, a reminder that some creatures are beyond the reach of our nonsensical theories.

In conclusion, our lil theory, while entertaining, offers more questions than answers. Can a ratified rat ever truly be content with its ratification? Will speedified rats inherit the earth with their boundless zest? And will kats and bats ever take notice of the intricate dance of rat statuses below? Only time, and perhaps a touch more whimsy, will tell.