someone should do a voice over for this ad

Now I know everyone claims this thing is useless but I got 24 kills with a stapler after kiting zombies around for an hour and nearly breaking my legs after getting cornered. It's actually semi-viable with 10A/10R gun skills because the hitstun to zombies pushes them back into the horde - so long as you have enough Nimble to backstrafe forever, the Tactical Stapler is actually a competent tool if your name is Sisyphus and you would like a handicap.

Until it starts to jam, anyways. I ended up having to grab another one whilst kiting around the office.

If you do ever revisit this, I'd really appreciate if you could unbox staples whilst walking, and maybe add a Swingline 333 as an easter egg item. My parents gave me one and it looks awesome :)

LOL Kudos for the reference to the old 1970's Ginsu Knife commercial's line "In Japan the hand can be used like a knife! But this method does not work on a tomato." and all of the other tropes of that style of commercials and later infomercials.

what does this even do

That's so stupid, I love it

I really like the other additions than the stapler, The T-shirt, VHS Tape, Cap, Abilitiy to order one with money

can i craft staples out of wire?

Attachments when? I want to put a 12x on a stapler.

It makes sense that we could Staple papers to the zomboids face to make them bllind, right?

INTRODUCING THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER! TWICE THE RANGE, TEN THE EFFICIENCY, AND TWICE THE BENEFITS! AMPLIFYING OUR PREDECESSOR'S 0% EFFICIENCY UP TO 00%, YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT NOBODY WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY!

STUCK IN A PVP MATCHUP? OUR EXPERTS ON THE FIELD HAVE GUARANTEED THAT, AFTER RAIDERS SHOOT DOWN THE ONES WHO HOLD THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER, THEY LOOT IT FIRST OUT OF EVERYTHING ELSE THEIR HAPLESS VICTIM WAS CARRYING!

CAN OF BEANS?! MORE LIKE, CAN OF STAPLES! BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT WILL BE RUNNING THROUGH THEIR MINDS!

THAT, AND THE HORDE OF UNDEAD THEY ATTRACTED WITH THEIR GUN!

WHAT'S THIS? THEIR GUN JAMMED?! TIME FOR THEM TO TAKE THEIR BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER, AND PUT IT TO THE TEST!

WATCH AS THEY FLAIL THEIR HANDS AFTER THE ZOMBIES AT 10X THE REGULAR SWING SPEED, ONLY TO MISS 100% OF THE TIME!

THE BLUE SWINGLINE 647 TACTICAL STAPLER! COMING NEVER IN A STORE NEAR YOU... mostly because there are zombies at our door right now.

OMG! That would be so cool! Still my favourite mods I've found. Love it. <3

@MrQuiet I have tried countless times to play with only the stapler and died every single time.... might be time to add in super staples or something. lol

Happy New Year Orc. This mod got me killed... and I laughed my a55 off. This mod is still THE best for laughs (That I've encountered).

Honestly one of my favourite mods I've found! Love going full send into a horde duel wielding staplers when the end is near for my survivor!

did anyone else call the phone number?

Died because of this mod
10/10

I really need a feature where I can craft a stapler bomb. The whole crafting recipe is just a pipebomb shoved into a stapler and it has a 2% chance of just blowing up in my hands

@Willow that's a hilarious idea. I'll add it to my rainy-day ideas list

Hilarious mod!

Could you make a mod that lets players smash zombies with a tool box? Me and my friends play too much Space Station 13 and we want to beat zombies to death with tool boxes

This mod is STILL the funniest and most honest ad I've seen regarding the apocalypse. It really DOES get you killed in PZ! (Great work Orc!)

I tried calling the number provided, I was so stoked to get the full 646 tactical package and the person who picked up the phone was very angery with me. 5/10 I kind of liked being yelled at, felt good.

I tried calling the number and they told me to fuck off 10/10

@lil_bluntz yes it should still be working. No you can't staple notes to zombies heads. lmao

Ok can i actually staple notes to zombies foreheads? Also is this mod still working?

@Lilac it goes to someone in Illinois, cant afford long distance calls tho lmao.

@ZaddySchlongLeg Oh wow...... wonder where that went..... I'll update

Workshop ID: 2831453493
Mod ID: TacticalStapler

where do i find the Workshop ID and MOD ID?

so the number is real.
Its not a joke number, it leads to somone's actual number

What the fuck ? ? ?

with the gun suicide mod, the stapler can be an instant zombie curer without finding a pistol

Do i need a "Stapler License" for it? I am considering buying one, but my mum said: "20 bucks, go get it" my dad said: "expensive..., read the small text, the SMALL TEXT!" my brother said: "Get the license first!" <- he's an A... and my older sis sally said: "does he have a Girlfriend?".., it's aways the same... too many Zombies out there, and i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

@Historian_Gamer If only it could function as a calculator!

40$ For A Stapler? Must Be Good!

Ooh. Old people like me who remember UHF? lol. I can use this to staple my bo-lone-ah slices into a sandwich without needing bread.

@Lilac
(Not a sex line)

Whats that phone number go to? I want to call it but I am In Fear of what it could be lol

@Skip Shoot staples at zombies and staple paper together to make journals and notebooks. It's mostly a joke mod

@MrQuiet That scene is exactly why this mod exists. It came up in conversation while playing one night and running out of ammo and finding a stapler. And thus, the useless tactical stapler was born in Stanley's honor

When I saw this mod, I thought of Stanley Spudowski on UHF stapling that guy's face. Hilarious!

It's not what you sell, it's how you sell it. And I'm sold.

exactly what i was looking for thanks a lot

Quick mid-day fix. Apologies for the disruption. Resolves an issue causing duplicate staples from appearing in world and bugging out on reload.

As compensation please accept this free Tactical Stapler Retail-VHS Infomercial complete with ordering opportunities! Visit your local Hit-Vids to get yours before supplies run out.

@BDZ1972 Unfortunately, Tactical Stapler ships from California and is restricted to 105 staples as per local laws.

Will high Capacity magazines be made available?

I absolutely love your mod description 🤣