Ok as much fun as this is, I'm going to do you a massive favor.

1) Go ingame and try to use this item, when the realization of why you're a complete moron dawns on you just know that I'll be here laughing at your ignorance.

2) I'm going to delete this entire conversation just to help you save face publicly. Not everyone has to know you're a retard: Just me.

Good luck in life.