I believe you figured this one out. I'll post what you discovered so anyone stumbling here knows:

"basicaly you want the mod loading order from the game to be the same from the server, this can be done by modifying the sbinit file like i did

ingame if you press the little wheel on the lower right corner you will find the mod list, get the numbers from there and add them to the file in the same order with the corresponding path and this will fix most mod errors, and the extra benefit of this is that when a mod is updated the server will get it auto updated as well, and as an extra extra bonus: no more mismatch betwin client and server so the option does not need to be checked"

Thank you for this :)