*kicks open saferoom door as intro music starts playing*

who the hell puts an evac station up 30 flights of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stairs

Maybe the helicopter, maybe it's made of chocolate.

arn't they suposed to be saving our asses

Looks like there's been a change of plans...

STOP THE BOMBING RUN

It's coming from the bridge

It's GOT ME

Originally posted by Garstmarst:

kill all sons ah ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. thats my offical instructions

Can this day get any better first my true love say yes and now a mod is making me laugh ass off best day ever. !

Originally posted by Ncdiehl:

Originally posted by Garstmarst:

kill all sons ah ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. thats my offical instructions

Can this day get any better first my true love say yes and now a mod is making me laugh ass off best day ever. !:lunar2020confidentrooster::steamsunny::thoughts:

congrats!

WHERE TF IS CEDA!?

because of left4dead2 i thought CEDA was the real life thing

Hooooly ♥♥♥♥ ... *hands Shotgun* Kill all sum ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ *Nod*

thats my official instructions *primes shotgun* (I had to change it from C0c-ks bc steam blurred it)

[The Survivors walk past the motel on the highway while O Sweet Death plays in the background.]
[Coach breaks through the boarded up door to a convenience store Safe Room in the park, unlocks it and everyone walks in.]
Coach: "Report unusual behavior"...
[Nick opens the cash register with his pistol and smirks.]
Coach: "Barricade your homes"...
[Ellis opens a gun cabinet and looks inside. His expression of bewilderment changes to a devilish smile.]
Coach: "Avoid all contact with infected individuals"...
[Rochelle is studying a map as Ellis places a pistol on top of it for her. She pushes it away as Ellis studies a Combat Shotgun.]
[Coach is shown reading off a CEDA Safety Checklist poster as he holds a chocolate bar.]
Coach: "Wait for official instructions." Heh. "Wait" my ass!
[Coach crumples the paper and throws it away as he walks towards the others eating his chocolate bar. Ellis has attached a grenade launcher, sniper rifle, a pipe bomb and first aid kit to his back.]
Ellis: Kill all sons o' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
[Ellis racks his Combat Shotgun.]
Ellis: That's my 'ficial instructions.
[Ellis kicks out the Safe Room door and they open fire on a group of Common Infected. Chocolate Helicopter begins to play.]
[Coach punches an Infected in the face, knocking it down. Rochelle brings her axe into the face of a Common as Coach walks up to the downed Common.]
Coach: This used to be a nice neighborhood!
[Coach beats the Common's face in with the stock of his Chrome Shotgun.]
[Ellis and Nick run along the highway, when Ellis is tackled by a Jockey. Nick turns around.]
Nick: ♥♥♥♥!
[Nick fires. Cut to the downed plane in the crash site.]
Rochelle: What the hell was that?
[A trio of mud men notice them and charge.]
Ellis: Hey, watch out!
[Cut to Ellis and Rochelle hiding behind a fallen tree. Rochelle hushes Ellis as a Spitter appears on the other side of the tree.]
Rochelle: This is some grim ♥♥♥♥ we've got ourselves into...
[The Spitter hacks up acid at the camera as the scene cuts to the Survivors fighting in the streets of Ducatel.]
Rochelle: Get back! Get back!
[Coach and Rochelle fire briefly at the horde before the Survivors run away. Ellis is helping Nick walk. Cut to the Survivors climbing a stairwell.]
Coach: [Panting from exhaustion] Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stairs?
Nick: [Exhausted] Come on, Сoach. Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate... [Chuckles]
[Coach scowls at Nick.]
[The Survivors reach the top of the building. Ellis is calling out.]
Ellis: Hey, where is everybody? Hello?
[Four helicopters are seen flying away in the distance.]
Rochelle: Oh, this is not happening...
Ellis: Anyone here?
Rochelle: This is not happening. This is not happening.
Coach: Thought they're supposed to be saving our asses?
Nick: Looks like there's been a change of plans.
[Cut to jets bombing the embankment to the Louisiana Naval Shipyard, a Horde in the French Quarter, and a tractor trailer being blown into a group of Infected on the bridge.]
Rochelle: [Into a radio] Stop the bombing run!
[Cut to the Veterans Memorial Bridge collapsing into the river.]
Radio voice: Christ, that's coming from the bridge!
[Coach is thrown back onto the hood of a squad car as an explosion hits a gas tanker in front of him. Nick rushes over to help him.]
Coach: ♥♥♥♥!
[Coach and Nick looks up in surprise.]
[Ellis is attacked by a Charger in a burning shack. It roars, bursting through the wood, sending him flying. It then picks him up.]
Ellis: It's got me!
[The Charger pounds him on the ground. He grunts out loud.]
[Cut to Nick followed by a group of Infected climbing a roller coaster in Whispering Oaks. Nick is pulled up by Rochelle as fire engulfs the Infected.]
Rochelle: Hang on!
[Two hazmat suit Infected walk through flames and turn towards the camera.]
[The Survivors run down a hallway to an elevator. Ellis melees a Riot Infected, but loses his Sniper Rifle to a Common Infected that trips with it's arms raised, making it fall out of his hands. He makes it inside the elevator, but a Smoker grabs him.]
Ellis: Ah, what the hell? Aahh!
Nick: [grabs Ellis, pulling him away from the doors] No!
Coach: [approaching with a chainsaw] ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! Eat that ♥♥♥♥!
[Coach mutilates the Infected and severs the Smoker's tongue, allowing the elevator doors to close.]
[Ellis collapses on the floor, and removes the tongue still wrapped around him. His expression of disgust turns to shock as he looks out the glass window, down at a swarm of Infected.]
Ellis: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥...
[Coach helps Ellis to his feet as Rochelle hands him a grenade launcher.]
Rochelle: Hey. "Kill all sons 'a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥", right?
[Ellis sheepishly nods, grinning at the grenade launcher.]
[The floor count changes from five to four. Cut to the Survivors on the stage of the Dark Carnival finale fighting a horde. Coach throws a gas can into the fireworks.]
Coach: Yeah!
[Ellis shoots the flying gas can with his Combat Rifle and it explodes above the horde of infected.]
Nick (voiceover): I have not...
[Floor count changes from 4 to 3. Rochelle ♥♥♥♥♥ and fires a heavy machine gun from the porch of the mansion in Swamp Fever.]
Nick (voiceover): ...come this far...
[Floor count changes from 3 to 2. The Survivors are fighting a Tank on the Veteran's Memorial bridge. Nick reloads a Silenced Submachine Gun. A tank throws a car in the air and, as Coach dodges the car, charges at Ellis,who fires a grenade launcher,knocking it back, Rochelle shoots the Tank with dual pistols.]
Nick (voiceover): ...to die now.
[Floor count changes from 2 to L. The doors of the elevator open up. As the Survivors prepare, Coach revs up his chainsaw to fight the horde.]
There's the transcript for the running gag for this post.