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A single lord (including you) isn't supposed to take entire fully garrisoned towns on his own (although by mid-game it is still possible).
If you really want to start your kingdom on your own (without joining an NPC kingdom first and eventually rebelling, this way is a lot easier), find a town/castle on a border between 2 factions that was weakened by their war with each other and capture it. Fiefs that were recently taken usually have about 100-200 soldiers - a number of troops you should defeat without breaking a sweat if you plan to survive the real hardships of starting your own kingdom that will follow.