Recent reviews by Mißgunst

After the sex update it now supports buttplugs

There's little to say about Iron Long: A very short game where after an eldritch catastrophe of unknown causes suddenly strikes the system, you're sent to investigate the depths of an ocean of blood. Your submarine is not made for such a depth, and as such you'll have to hurry in your investigation if you want to emerge before the crushing pressure executes you.
You'll navigate through the ocean without your eyes, as the front window is sealed, instead having to rely on a map and coordinates for wide motions, and an occasional camera press to keep yourself from crashing into walls when you're not picturing the points of interest.
The atmosphere and narrative background will make your expedition more eerie, however my one caveat with the game is how long it is for what its biggest shock is, especially if your unexpected company beneath the water doesn't quite raise the tension for you, or the length itself will wear it out. All in all it's still a decently spooky experience for a decent price
8/10

Mommy

bisexual game

I don't have much to say about this game. Amid Evil is a beautifully rendition to old-school shooters while noticeably refined by the age it was made in: It is simply beautiful at glance, with classic high-fantasy themes twisted to its own style, and majestically at that, leading to increasingly complex architecture the further you go into the game. Movement is as simple as it can be for any shooter, but it feels polished to a blade's edge; even if you hardly do more than running, crouching and jumping (I guess you can rocket jump, but you'll land in several places at once, torn to bits) it feels incredibly smooth when you do, and you'll need to do the most of your agility both when exploring the gorgeous levels and during a fight. Combat, equally as essential as your movement, is both challenging and pleasing; You don't need no grappling hooks, kick, dedicated melee buttons, finishers or stuff like that to make combat engaging, as the power of your magic weapons (The which not only feel and look amazing, but which's punch and purpose is instantly recognisable) shocking, blasting, and slicing through hordes of enemies cleverly hand-crafted and placed makes every encounter feel like a rush, and the bosses truly offer you a unique challenge.
That's really all there is to Amid Evil: a modern tribute to boomer shooters, but an incredibly pretty and polished product at that... Or it might be accurate to call it a work of love. Vast exploration, great combat, eye candy and all bundled up for lots of fun. And if you didn't get enough from the campaign, go hit the survival mode to test how long you can go, and for managing your ammo too.
This game really just makes my ♥♥♥♥ hard enough to cut glass, 10/10 for its type

Destiny 2 is a cautious recommendation, but if you've got the storage to spare and want to try out some meaty and pleasant RPG looter shooter gunplay, this is a quintessential experience next to Borderlands. Despite all the controversy behind every expansion, Destiny's core systems are fantastic: Beautiful art direction that never fails, gunplay with amazing damage feedback and flexible buildcrafting that feels near endless when you're a new player.
If you wanna try this game, farm yourself some of the (honestly quite good) 3.0 armor and guns, hopefully with a friend; and if you want more then try out legacy expansions which often get discounted in large packs for around 10 to 20$ depending on the bundle. The gunplay remains fun, the buildcrafting is far more interesting as of EoF, and the reward systems has improved from the weekly 5 activities for pinnacles then log of even if it's flawed, and weapons have been getting plenty more interesting and more fun to use...
However, it is quite a shame see the rest of the game suffer when the sandbox has improved massively over the last year and a half. But what is all that worth in 120 GBs when old content has not even received a blanket update of 3.0 stat systems and old activities are yet to be added? Let's hope it improves with the upcoming free updates and DLC.
Also, for the love of god make dungeon keys included in legacy expansions. They're amazing, but 20$ a pop is a robbery

We got plenty of the funny reviews so I want to write something that is representing of the game. I would not recommend this publicly normally, but if you're here, you know what you're in for, or at least I hope you will know.
This game sucks, it's more the kind that sucks your soul than being plain bad. You know what art is right? Music, paintings, drawings, games themselves are art of course as well: They all evoke emotions, and have for certain Getting Over It will cause you to stir amounts of anger to the point of cholera, rage you didn't even know you could muster.

Best way I can describe it is a massage for the masochists after a long day of stress for not suffering enough. You know that stinging pain you feel when pressure sinks at the back of your shoulders? That's what you'll feel failure after failure, and trust me you'll fail a lot, whether it is because the vertically connected mountain has gaps that will lead you all the way through the bottom on key points or because controlling your movement is actually less intuitive than what it seems. That is an ache you'll have to endure if you want to feel the relief that comes afterwards, but for every step forward you make you'll immediately find a new reason to wonder why you put yourself through this ordeal.

Bennett explains his inspiration for this particular game and the unique emotions that rough pieces like this evoke, compared to the quick rushes that videogames from nowadays offer, and for those who prefer that side of the industry: it's a respectable decision. I think however that this little chatter is instead a conduit for reflection, wherever it might converge: Our taste for challenge, pain, our courage, determination or even mere stubbornness... Whatever the case, anyone who has decided to embrace this soul-draining experience understands the bitter pleasure that comes from pain and adversity, or will be forced to acquire the taste.

I may be getting out of hand with this silly chatter here, but regardless of if I overthink the themes of Getting Over It, it is precisely the reason why I see it as art in a more unorthodox way games tend to be. They can have wonderful stories, beautiful design and music, carried by gameplay that allows you to feel like it is come alive and shed a tear or feel euphoria... Getting Over It has none of that, and for its purpose, it most certainly does not want or need it. This is instead a thing for those who long to bleed, to catalyse their inner strength, as there's no victory with no proper defeat.

This game is wonderful to say the least, beautiful in more ways than one by truly showing that variety is quite the spice.
Furi is a Shoot 'em up, Hack 'n Slash bullet hell that'll keep you on your toes from start to finish. This game combines the best of its genres into a stylish boss rush game that is as pleasing as it is to look at as it is to play it.
Furi's biggest strength is its aesthetic, and the disconnect between areas allows it to experiment with different palettes and themes with every enemy and its environment, and the devs show no fear to brag their creativity. All the bosses have a personality of their own, and the masterfully composed synth tracks that go along their fights will immerse you even further while they swing and fire at you with all they got on a duel that constantly evolves in depth and intricacy, not to mention the voice acting for each and one of 'em is phenomenal.
You will play as a mysterious stranger the which's nature we cannot be certain, who has been trapped at the top of a prison before being set free by a man we know as The Voice. You'll fight ten of these bosses on your way to the free world, armed with your laser gun and your electric katana graphene saber you'll slowly find out why the guardian's so desperately want to put the stranger in chains.
While it is HIGHLY encouraged that you play with a gamepad, it still is playable on keyboard and mouse, but you might find movement too hard to nail down some times, the which will require clever positioning in order to compensate for the missing 24 directions a joystick would otherwise offer you. Past this defect however, the fast-paced and technical combat always feels quite responsive, and Furi makes sure that the fundamentals of combat are laid down for you (I do recommend checking the "How to Play" as a couple aspects are not so clear in the tutorial) and that all forms of attacks are well telegraphed.
My only nitpicks for this game are a potentially unexploited layer of combat that could be achieved if you were allowed to have other weapons as in other Hack 'n Slash games such as DMC or MGR, a couple cinematic animations that seem rather sudden in timing and the amount of hatred the designer put on the final fight against The Star because I was stuck in that ♥♥♥♥♥ for like 3 hours although it was still an enjoyable encounter in retrospective.
This game gets a solid 9/10 for me. I'll very likely buy it again on the Switch just to play with the sticks

This game is pretty amazing to let off some steam if you're stressed in lots of different ways. If you are a simple person without much creativity like me, you can always grab a bunch of ragdolls and torture them for a little bit by just throwing them against each other, seeing how many heads a .50 AE can go through before stopping or crushing them under lots of weigth. If you're a more creative person, the physics this game has (even if somewhat janky at times, but understandably so) are easily exploitable through a lot of different devices for you to create whatever death machine you want. You got your basics: pistons, cables, springs, thigns that rotate... And a few other things that I haven't seen in games of other nature, like gyrostabilisers, a device which, when activated, will attempt to remain at the angle you set them in. I don't recall there being logic gates for you to make circuits with, but the Steam Workshop has a mod for that, to add even more depth to your contraptions! Graphically there's not much for it to stand out, however the visual and sound effects are pretty great, making the somewhat pixelated guns feel like they really pack the punch they should and allowing you to hear the flesh being squeezed under a ton of steel. I think it's worth its price tag. 8/10

He is alright but it'd be great if he stopped triggering every single trap I come across

Edit: since people are actually looking at this review, here's a tip. Just let him get murdered. If you use spirit vision, Sir Lora will still follow you around, but now unable to trigger traps, although it won't stop him from getting in your way the scarce times he does