Recent reviews by Derek

This game must be for people more autistic than I. Every area has random very precise and somewhat obtuse platforming you have to do and failing makes you spend a minute getting back to where you were. If I ran into similar situations in other games I would think I didn't have the necessary unlock and I was sequence breaking because what I'm attempting is jank and just barely works. The fish run way too fast and its extremely annoying to catch them. The open desert with random scattered and unrelated obstacles isn't really my favorite. Just collecting coins and fish is pretty boring. The NPC sounds like a remixed Spanish telenovela woman which is distracting.

There is a lot of good stuff here though. This game is very close to being something I'd really like but it just is not.

This game was freaking awesome the whole way except for the parts where you fight the "Pier Reviewers" and the "Invulnera-Billboards" and their variations. Those guys freaking sucked mega ass with their blocking, high health and resistances.

Overall I give this game a 9/10. This is the best Yakuza game from Yakuza 1 thru this one with only Yakuza 0 competing.

This game is freaking sick, it is visually immaculate. Everything is well animated and looks great, very impressive since it was developed by a middle aged father. I like the game play of the *other* dream "goat" game more but this one is cool too. Wish there were more unlocked movement abilities and of course that the game was longer but what can you expect out of a dad working on this in his spare time. The camera is often mega cancerous and causes you to miss headbutting the floating springing things. Also I hate the spinning bridge. I do like that the game gets pretty difficult at times, especially in the level 5 area. That should be enough to prevent casuals from getting all the achievements.

Overall I give this game a 8.5/10, it's pretty sweet and costs the price of a postage stamp.

Pretty sick game made by two middle aged dads just following their dream. Has good vibes and good designs. Having to save your game at the bed sucks, combat feels jank sometimes and I can't tell what the enemy even is or is doing at first because of the highly pixellated graphics, and the final boss turned off my controller so I had to do all that again. One of the two dads who developed the game seems to have been accused of using hypnosis (huh?) on his friends and ex which is crazy. Some of the puzzles are ooo wee. This game is tight though.

Overall I give this game a 8/10, it's pretty freaking sick but has some annoying ♥♥♥♥ in it like putting me on ice and giving me four hockey ninja enemy random encounters repeatedly.

This game does nothing interesting except have cute animal crossing type bunnies. This game would be better if you felt more in danger.

However, even on this bnuuy earth, Jesus is depicted as a Caucasian Human.

This game is significantly better than Firewatch. In fact, this game actually contains Firewatch making this game a sort of expansion to Firewatch. This is a classic and amusing walking simulator, a paragon of the genre. A good example of the devs thinking of everything. Nothing here really makes you laugh out loud though so the game isn't as funny as it tries to be. I hadn't played Stanley Parable since the first version came out hundreds of years ago so it was cool to see it again with new things.

Overall I give this game a 8/10, it's pretty cool.

This game is freaking awesome. Wall kicking is bad ass, great platforming experience. You can equip pants or armor cosmetics to hide your bare furry ass if you're a coward or attracted to men so this game is accessible to all. The music is pretty bad in a couple places, namely the library and the theater so you gotta do those parts quick before you go insane, which the game itself acknowledges in the library section books so it's self aware.

Overall I give this game a 8.5/10, its pretty freaking good and well worth the dirt nasty low price.

I liked the part when the baby starts crying and you have to wave him side to side or up and down.

This game is freaking awesome and I've had way more fun with it than the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ass Nintendo Switch Pokemon game. I welcome the wave of monster collecting games this game will bring on.

The final boss is terrible but the rest of the game is pretty fricking sweet. But this game is pretty short, much like Sonic himself.