Recent reviews by everythingexcepthavefun

This is genuinely one of the most disappointing games I have ever tried to play.
Why is it that when you try to role play and do these little side gigs that aren't murders that they're literally impossible. I can't return stolen items because every single place to return them results in a fine for trespassing. Even public places such as where the person works, will often refuse the item or ask me to leave which makes no sense. The reward for returning the item is 30 crows, but the fee for trespassing is 50. So how does it make sense that in order to return lost items, I lose money?

Also lets talk about murder cases, a lot of them, generate poorly. A lot of them have errors or details that do not track. If the entry wound is from a gun tell me how it makes sense the murder weapon was actually a knife that was not in the apartment or the suspect's body and property. There is wayyyy too much of that. You can't solve any cases because the answer is impossible to come to a conclusion on. Anything other than a murder case results in heavy fees.

I booted up a sandbox save just to see if I could get away with murder. I slashed a man in the bathroom of a resturaunt with a katana. Made a bloody mess, but he was only unconcious WHICH MAKES NO SENSE.

Not to mention how many times this game crashes on start up. Only 4 inventory slots? Dogsh*t.
Crouch jumping being inconsistent and doesn't work for the most part? Annoying. I don't understand the point of being a lawful citizen. No wonder this city if full of murderers. You literally cannot make an honest living.

Genuinely a great a idea, but one of the most mediocre dogsh*t executions ever.
It's not fun to walk great distances back and forth with no fast travel. The only fast travel in this game are via towers which only have one per region which makes little to no sense when the Underworld allows you to travel between campfires which are more abundant and make more sense in terms of being able to easily get around.

I have spent more time running around looking for things, not because I want to, and trust me when I say, I spend most of my time in video games aimlessly walking around looking for things, but because there is no other option in terms of movement. I genuinely despise how slow the game has become. Both in movement but also progression. I can't upgrade my character unless i find new food recipes, but i can't cook new food recipes if I don't find the random kitchen counter or boudoir that will give me said recipe.

I can't upgrade my tools unless I find titanium, but I have no clue where I'm supposed to go in order to find any. The progression in this game makes very little sense. It's not region based or level based. It seems incredibly sprawled or random chance that you find a unique encounter in a random corner of the region you're in. Even when I wandered into the DLC which seems fairly late game in terms of the resources found there, i still managed to make a fair bit into before I couldn't progress with the crowbar and machete any further. The game is like this constantly. You will find easy POIs in later stages and late game POIs in early stages which encourages a seemingly back and forth playstyle, but what's infuriating about that, is that the game isn't designed to backtrack very well.

There are shortcuts that open up. Eventually you can tear down cement walls that will allow even better shortcuts, but you can't demolish mountains and the game has a lot of rock faces you cannot interact with. And unfortunately with a lot of shortcuts, you don't know what you need to unlock it until you reach it, and in most cases will result in a lot of walking back to where you started without being able to open said shortcut which is beyond infuriating how much time is wasted simply walking around, Lost.

There's so many 'collectables' that are late game collectables because you need to cross the entire map in order to learn how to use the teleporter signature or whatever the f*ck else. On top of just the inventory system kinda being crap. You have to sit at campfires to replenish your consumables, but its kind of rediculous it only replenishes ones you have equipped so maybe if you come across something else that needs a different consumable that would be useful you can't pull it out, you have to go sit down and run back and if you don't have the kill switch for enemy respawns which you install at the tower, you have to kill everything again.

Which also, the 'puzzles' in tombs are not puzzles. A lot of them are literally designed to be brute forced because you cannot carefully navigate a fire maze because you will just get set on fire and die despite not standing in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fire. Or a sh*tty sokoban puzzle on a breaking floor which doesn't account for the player needing to also stand on tiles so you have to literally rush through it before the floor gives out which is stupid given that the boxes have cool downs on when it can be pushed again so i just kept getting pushed off because the box was planted to the floor and fell into the pit multiple times.

They aren't well thought out puzzles. And neither is the story. I mean it isn't a good look when all the voice acting in the game is AI Text to Speech. They couldn't hire a single voice actor to record a few lines? I don't want to listen to this cringe ass nae nae text to speech that I can't even skip. Its not even like they tried it a couple times and used one that had a good cadence, it was very much one and done and it pisses me off.

Also, the combat is the most boring ♥♥♥♥ imaginable. Its so easy that its genuinely the worst experience of the game. Even if your weapon does 'splash damage' if its not an explosive or something labeled, "pierce" it only hits one guy at a time which makes no sense. it also makes no sense how the targeting changes automatically when you manually select a target. It's the most infuriating thing. Like they couldn't even code good combat. There's literally nothing to it cus almost every enemy gets stunned when you hit it, so its just hit, dodgeroll backwards, or if you one shot them just w+m1ing like a braindead pyro from tf2.
I mean you can even just wind up a power attack and let things walk into you. It's very little skill which was honestly the most dissapointing part. They have all these different weapons and throwables, but literally everything is so niche and specific you will not use half the stuff because you need to be wearing the stupid hat that increases throwable damage or use the trinket that gives you extra consumables and whatnot. Switching things out in your inventory doesn't even work again, because you have to sit at the campfire in order to do so. You can switch things out while out and about, but only some of them, and they wont have any ammunition.

The size of the world to explore makes little sense with what you have to interact with it. Its open and empty, and there's no fast travel.

One step forward, Three steps back.

The main antagonists are genuinely annoying and frankly, the story makes little sense at times.
But maybe that was the intention, it's unclear what the intention was. Handsome Jack was Iconic, whatever these twin demigods are, are not very likeable or memorable. I don't remember what their names even after having them pipe up all the time.

They added fast travel which is a god send. They added collectables on every map, and for some reason sleeper collectables which are missable and don't count towards the total which is gay.
The challenges of Borderlands 2 were interesting even if a lot of them were repeats, there were always a couple that were unique such as parkour challenges. Every single collectable in this game is a repeat, especially since they added vaulting, parkour is less of a challenge and more of a brute force until you can find a random ledge that may or may not be intentional to vault over.

The gameplay is great. The gameplay is the best part. The story is obnoxious and is reductive to the overalll experience because it's hard to like both protagonist and antagonist and quite frankly wished the game didn't hinge on nonsense.

Boss fights last longer than they would otherwise because everytime you deal damage to the boss they turn invincible because they need to say their witty one liner and reposition themselves. Boss fights would be shorter if the game just didn't have 4 different phases for each boss. Especially since you're 10 levels higher than the boss it makes little sense for the game to stall out something that isn't much of a challenge.

I wish this game was longer in scope, because it could totally get away with it.
Its a very short game that you can knock out in an afternoon.
If you optimized it you could 100% it and still refund it which I think is silly.

There is less strategy involved the further you progress, and it devolves into spam clicking and waiting for UI to show up or go away. If there was more puzzling involved it would be more interesting and would probably take more time to play, instead of just brute forcing it once you reach the halfway mark.

Addictive and Abusive.

Skills that suggest would exponentially increase, cap off.
A +7% for every stack, would actually require you to have 450 of them or whatever the f*ck to reach 99.98% instead of 14 of them.

Items that are supposed to spawn minions, do not spawn minions, if you have more than 16 drones or something like that for some f*cking reason. They will only spawn in the void, null, or shop because drones can't follow you in there, and even if you don't have ANY drones they will stop spawning in later stages in the game for no valid reason.

The game can softlock in several ways and you will lose runs because the game can't handle whatever shenangians you were up to.
Sometimes it's as simple as spamming e to pick up items will cause the game to break.
Or somehow teleporting to two different locations at the same time will cause the game to break because you can enter multiple portals for some unknown reason.

They don't cap how many drones you can have.
But they cap how many minions you can spawn either as your class's skill such as the engineer only being allowed to spawn 3 sentries or 4 mines.
You can have infinite drones, you can't have infinite anything else.

Projectiles and Shots that home onto targets will home into dead targets long after they have expired.

If you turn invisible, enemies that are locking onto you, will not lock off and will shoot you while you are invisible.

The game will consistently spawn in enemies directly behind you. Enemies that are spawning in are able to charge up a shot before they even full load in, so the moment you hear them spawn you will immediately get hit by a projectile you can't react to.
You have to stand with you back to a wall to avoid it from even being a possibility.

You can start a game and immediately die because the game spawns an elite in front of you which attacks you the moment you leave the pod before you can even dodge or do anything to evade or attack.

It's ridiculous how consistently a run is either sh*t or really good. There is never any middle ground of a mediocre run. Runs last hours. Or minutes.

Oh to be doing a challenge run and pray to ♥♥♥♥♥ sake not to have the stupid f*cking wisps spawn directly behind me and immediately shoot me. Like it's one thing if you can react to the sound, but even when I do they still laser me when I evade it's the worst kind of RNG.

My favorite kind of run ends are ones I can't react to.
Getting sniped by a golem across the map that was attacking a turret and locked onto me at the last second where I can't even see or hear it.
Getting hit by a brass construct through a wall because the projectiles linger and explode even when they miss.
Getting pulled into a black hole by a void jailer the moment the black hole collapses.
It's quite f*cking obnoxious.

I can't believe the degree to which people raved about this game to me when it sucks so much ass, it's unbelievable, starting out.
Do you know how much trouble I had to go through for to make the audio not sound like complete ass with constant crackling and static and peaking?
Like seriously, how ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dogsh*t do you have to make a game that just does whatever the ♥♥♥♥ it wants with your audio settings that you have to manually go in and f*ck with everything so it sounds normal? But now everything else sounds different and it's going to affect the quality of other games I play while I still have it like this?

Not to f*cking mention the way you unlock new items is so f*cking ass. Click and hold, but you can't click and hold on the item icon to purchase it, no no no. You have to click on the item you want, and then go over to the opposite side of the f*cking screen and click and hold there and you can't let go even after the circle fills up all the way, because you're connected to a server and you have to wait for the server to respond to give you the f*cking item. And then, if you want another item, move back to the other side of the screen and do it all over again. Why can't you just make it simple? Or streamline it so you can just select the icon with the keys and hold down the mouse.

The AI is genuinely infuriating. Enemies literally jump to the moon if you stand in a weird spot, or they phase through walls, or they see you through several walls and call in reinforcements even though you can't see or shoot them.
Friendly AI for that stupid escort mission run straight for the enemy horde despite the fact they have a clear path to the safe spot without having to go all the way around and running into a horde that is blocking that other path. Like why is it RNG which direction they run in, if they all ran in the same direction, or better yet, the same direction every time you activate their chamber, it would be so awesome, and it would be so cool, instead of just trial and erroring which is boring and tedious.

Don't even get me started on extracting solo, I have died so many times with less than 20 seconds remaining only to respawn more than 10 seconds away and aborting the extract. Do you know how infuriating that is? Don't say it's a skill issue. Even when I b-line straight through the horde that somehow tracked my spawn point and immediately blockade me the moment I land, I still can't f*cking make it. Where's the gun bash or shove to push enemies away? Why the ♥♥♥♥ do you start with NOTHING and not have missions that scale in difficulty with your current level so you can at least have some variety with what you start with? Like most of the missions aren't even hard, the most time consuming parts are just waiting or travel. which is like 10 minutes which baffles me why the game is so slow.

Like I don't give a sh*t if the game "gets good" after you sink 20 hours in or if you play with 2 other people. The fact of that matter is, this game, starting out, regardless of playing solo or not, sucks absolute d*ck. Even joining in progress games, what am I met with? People killing me on "accident" while I'm providing them cover fire. Like it's ridiculous that out of the three games I extracted, despite being killed by teammates multiple times, It says that I'm the one that friendly fired instead of the person's turret that mowed me down, or the orbital laser that swept through and cut me off and set me on fire, or being hit by a grenade while im being overrun by the purple zombies.

I also love not being able to pick up items because they either end up in a weird physics stack or behind an object so I don't have direct line of sight on it. Really good game mechanic there of getting weapons or resources stuck. Or even better yet, this one's my favorite so far, getting knocked by an explosion and getting softlocked, unable to move because I'm caught in a loop of infinitely on some random slope and barbed wire and dying.

There is so much jank, which I immediately noticed an utilized to trivialize a lot of the survival of running down a clock. The enemy pathfinding is jank. There are so many areas I can stand in where the enemy just stops trying to get to me. The enemy spawn system is jank. There are so many times where enemies just roll up out of nowhere. The explosion radius of grenades, launchers, and whatever else are jank. I let enemies pile up to a 100 and a single grenade in the midst of them kills 56 of them, whereas the launcher has one ammo and kills like 14 of them in a similar grouping.

There is so much jank that the only reason I want to keep playing, is figuring out on a scale of surgeon simulator to goat simulator, how delicate do I have to be to harness said jank to have things work in my favor. And frankly, the potential grind I see to crank out currency to buy more items looks really f*cking boring if I'm being honest. But it also looks really trival, and I don't understand why the game feels like this starting out. It's like intentionally trying to weed out people from playing more. Like I find myself already trying to push back and exploit the game to do as little work as possible.

I see the cracks and I'm going to frack. And frankly I'm not particularly looking forward to it.
I bought this to play with friends, and I just wanted to unlock some items before I got into games with them.

Honestly, any game that has mindless dungeons and enemy drop farming is a time sink for me because I will sit here and reap the reapers until I get enough collars to reroll the enchantments on my own scythe.

I mean the fat tits and asses are cool and all but I was rarely looking at my own character let alone other people's in the heat of battle.

I found myself not using the lock on feature to line up collateral damage hits instead. I also find it strange that the equipment storage in your inventory doesn't like free up space when you equip an item so you really only have 12 slots you can store new items in which makes the dungeon crawling a back and forth if you really want to min-max every ounce of loot so you make petty cash and spend it all on the good stuff.
Its cool you can teleport to spawn whenever you want so you can peace out during boss fights if you run out of healing items.

I think it should be faster to teleport when out of combat. The music is kind of annoying during dungeons too because sometimes it accidentally plays the sound of "room cleared" or whatever when there's very much still a fight going on. I mean audio indicators being misleading is always kind of a pain the ass when you need to be dead eyeing to dodge or parry.
Speaking of which, some enemies don't really have a tell, like the slimes. They just attack and it doesnt seem to matter how far away they are. I guess there's also the issue of groups, but never really got ganged up on i just run circles around the room and spam e while shooting my infinite ammo wand or whatever it is.

Dont add a dodge to your game if it A) doesnt make you immune to damage. B) Doesn't move you very far and its less efficeint than sprinting away and C) requires you to hold two different buttons to preform a single action.

I find it hard to believe the people who made this game actually like playing video games if you can't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ re-ignite a campfire with over 30 peices of wood when it takes 3 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ years to cut down a tree to get 10 peices of wood. Kill yourself.

I 100%ed this game to tell you that it is genuinely not worth the price for the amount of content in the game. This is a clear step backwards in the series. The only way this game is returning to the roots of Origins is because the game is buggy, god awful sound design, and the animations are so floaty there is no gratifying feeling of autonomy.

I tried to engage with the game the way the developers intended, but the developers are overworked and understaffed so it was genuinely a miserable playing experience because there wasn't enough time or resources given to make a polished game.

The first thing I noticed when I played the game, was the fact that the animations were not responsive to the keys I press. Genuinely just as bad, if not worse than Origins, because the two games in between didn't really have these issues. Like they remove the bow, so you can't stockpile long ranged assassination tools, and it doesn't matter cus the map is so small, you won't be having long ranged assaults anyways. But the fact that you can one shot literally every enemy in the game makes it such a non-threat that before I even played the game I selected the hardest difficulty knowing full well it was not going to matter.

The DLC adds a weapon that makes combat trivial. All you have to do is parry once, and then the enemy gets set on fire and they stop attacking you as they flail around. I genuinely don't know what they were thinking. The combat is genuinely some of the worst. They added a stamina system which you can't upgrade. This is not a 1v1 game. You are fighting multiple enemies if the stamina ever comes into play, the game wants you to run away, or rather forces you because you dont have the stamina to keep up. Not to mention how quick animations fly, that half the time you can't react, or even if you do, the game is so poorly optimized that the choreography doesn't sync with the hit and hurt boxes. And that's not me being bad. There is so much snapping when it comes to animation. The game will arbitrarily position an enemy several paces forward from where they landed their attack so even back stepping or backrolling, which you seem to have no control which you do, twice, will still cause the enemy to land their hit. Or just rolling into an unparryable attack somehow makes you immune to the damage. Or like if you don't parry a parryable attack the enemy can chain multiple attacks which is stupid.

The parkour element of this game is also dogsh*t. The interaction triggers are lazy. And even if the game trains you that certain textures are scalable, they intentionally misleading. You can't scale castle walls, but there are certain parts with exposed brick which you are supposed to be able to scale. The game reuses this texture in other places, yet despite this, you cannot scale all of these textures. Same goes for bricks jutting out of houses or towers. Sometimes there is a clear brick you should be able to grab and the game does not see it. Or how finicky the game is that in order to go to the left you have to go all the way right around a pole in order to scale up which is ret*rded.
So many times I just get stuck on an object and I can't climb down or jump off. There are so many small props on the ground that if you walk over a sack of flower you can't walk off like you walked onto it and have to jump off for no reason. Or better yet, the game being inconsistent on whether you were crouched or not before vaulting over a wall. There have been so many times where I just want to pop over a wall and fall in the foliage on the other side but the game decides, "you wanted to be standing straight up right so the enemy can see you?" ret*rded.

Don't even get me on the AI. The AI is genuinely a step back. The AI cannot traverse the map. There are so many places where you can get to, and they can't follow and immediately lose you. While other times there are areas where it doesn't matter how well you are stealthy, for whatever reason, even if you are hidden, the AI will just spot you from a safe distance away. If you hire Mercenaries to kill guards, the guards they kill, respawn, while you are in the area you are exploring. If you are doing a story mission, and you decide you want to go the PVE route instead of the espionage route, the game will respawn enemies the moment you turn your back. I have killed the same npc 5 seperate times during a mission because they are positioned at a choke point. And it's beyond retarded because their corpse is still there and its the same model.

Which is another thing. NPCs don't give a sh*t if you kill in front of them. Their reaction speed is so slow. Or they are so nonchalant, They don't care. It's mystifying to me that they decided that in addition to NPCs being ret*rded. You needed a smoke bomb which makes all npcs inside forget you exist, allowing you to drop a smoke bomb at you feet while charging into a group, and allow you to chain assassinate everybody in the smoke and leave before NPCs path over and discover the bodies.

Shouldn't they be alarmed that everyone is dead? Shouldn't they go into high alert when the POI is assassinated? There are so many times where NPCs just commit suicide investigating a murder. They jump off a high place and take fall damage and die, or just get themselves stuck on a platform that not even I can access without getting stuck. It's abysmal how bad their pathing and AI routes are. Like you can stab and grab someone from a hay bale, and their partner doesn't care. What's the point of having duos wander together if they can't even have object permanance or care their partner mysteriously vanishes.

Godforbid you actually add upgrades or skills that add new ways to play the game. You add swords and daggers that basically don't do anything interesting since you're limited on stamina. And you add armor that either muffles the sound of assassinations or your movement but it doesn't matter because NPCs are deaf because the devs didn't program the sound of a body falling, yet alone pots breaking. Like genuinely, how did they mess up weight. Bodies and objects used to have WEIGHT when you THREW THEM. Bodies float. They're like feathers. They make sounds like you dropped a pen or a blanket instead of a f*cking corpse.

You have to be sh*tting me.
Odyssey was such a good game aside from the DLC's why the f*ck did they go, "yeah let's re-release Origins without fixing the bugs. When they could've done another Odyssey. This game doesn't even have 30 hours of content in it. Most of my playtime is d*cking around to see all the bugs of magically respawning enemies, or the fact the horses have magic hitboxes and send explosive pots flying with incredible velocity and seeing just how much I could mess with an npc until they jumped off a ledge and died.
You can beat the game 10 hours or less. The side content is non existant. There's no fun challenges.
Other than like contracts which are mandatory to get skill points to unlock skills. Genuinely, "don't kill anyone" is such a sh*t is such a terrible objective. The game forces you to kill people, You have no nonlethal options other than gadgets. Odyssey, you could knock people out. This game forces you to kill after the prologue. You can not be force me into stealth in a mission where all of the stealth routes except 1 is blocked off, and you have to carry somebody constantly sneezing and alerting the guards to my position constantly.

I have so much more to complain about but you have to keep these things "consise"

Play a different game. Poorly optimized, Terrible AI, floaty animations, inconsistent level design, lazy back and forth gameplay, nothing special or new that makes it stand out as unique from the other games. Literally, I mean genuinely, copy and pasted Origins and did NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING new.

The camera sucks absolute d*ck.
The problem is that regardless of what keys you input, they're sensitive to the direction the camera is facing, so even if you're prone, visually in a way that allows you to back up, the game will force you to walk forward so it can do a wide turn despite the fact, that you want to just back on up.
The game is pretty inconsistent about this. Even for things like walking to the side. The game will either overcorrect so you take a wide turn because of the camera, or not at all.
The game isn't able to make up its mind about this. Does your mouse cause control the direction you drive in? Does it control the direction you walk in? Because sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't.
Not to mention the auto-aim correction being genuinely the worst feature in this game. LIke the crosshair will tell you if you're unable to shoot from your position as well as unable to shoot where you are aiming, but despite this, there are plenty of times where the crosshair shows no problems or arguements yet turns out I wasn't actually able to shoot where I wanted, or how randomly when I throw a throwable the game suddenly decides the moment I let go of the trigger, to toss it much higher and further than I wanted.

The game is pretty consistent in that though, displaying incorrect information.
In a game that encourages precision, your tools lie to you. It's obnoxious.
Like it's one thing if a weapon has sway, it's another thing entirely if your gun shoots 3 inches to the left despite the fact your crosshair was dead on. Why is that?

I love that too. The game arbitratilly decides when you want to ledge grab and when you don't.
I'll vault to cross a gap and the game will ledge grab so I dont make it. And othertimes I want to drop down so I manauver to grab the ledge and the game just lets me fall to mt death.
I genuinely despise there is no quick restart for the shooting range missions. I genuinely despise there is no fast travel between the different base islands and you have to hail a helecopter to take you back to the main area, and then ask it to take you back to base.
How hard is it to have a simple system that allows you to do those stupid shooting gallery missions with ease. It's just as bad as the time trials for Dying Light not having any quick restarts so you either have to suicide or reach the end only to "fail" for not doing it fast enough.
It's also obnoxious that going into first person doesn't actually fix any of the crosshair lying issues.
I am genuinely tired of aiming at an enemy only for the game to magnetize my crosshair so fast to shoot a wall or a pole that's nearby but completely misses what I want to shoot that it makes me immediately ALT-F4 because it is unfair to me that I cannot shoot where I aim. Why is the game like this? Not to mention the controls don't display stuff for keyboard and mouse. And only display controls for controller.

Why did you port the game to steam if you weren't going to implement acessibility? I don't need aim assist on a mouse. It is actively screwing me over.