Recent reviews by everythingexcepthavefun

Dogsh*t jank.
A colony simulation game where telling colonists what to do and where to put things has no bearing on whether or not they do it.
I literally check mark the option, "Prevent colonists from using this storage" and what do they do? They take resources out of said storage and waste them.

These ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ literally walk off ledges and kill themselves when there's literally a ladder they can climb down safely or platforms to walk down from to prevent taking FALL DAMAGE.

You know what would be great? If you tell colonists NOT TO EAT THE F*CKING CRAFTING MATERIALS TO MAKE MEALS AND EAT THE F*CKING MEALS! THEY LITERALLY REFUSE TO EAT THE COOKED MEALS!!!!
WHAT THE F*CK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I CANT CRAFT THE HIGHER TIER FOODS BECAUSE MY FARMER WONT FARM AND PLANT SEEDS AND MY ♥♥♥♥♥♥ COLONISTS KEEP EATING ALL THE INGREDIENTS WHICH I FARMED BY MYSELF AND INGREIDEWEINTS REPLENISH F*CK ALL SO THEY EAT ALL OF IT TO REPLENISH THE SAME AMOUNT AS ONE F*CKING MEAL AND NOW I HAVE TO SPAM CLICK TO EAT COOKED MEAT BECAUSE THE ONLY RESOURCE THEY DONT EAT IS THE RAW ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MEAT!!!

HOW HARD IS IT TO PROGRAM NPCS TO NOT TAKE SH*T FROM THE F*CKING STORAGE????
WHY DO THEY KEEP TAKING THE FUR FROM THE CHEST AND THROWING IT ON THE GROUND????
WHY IS THERE NO OPTION TO QUICK STACK SAME RESOURCES?
WHY IS THERE NO OPTION TO SHIFT CLICK THINGS OUT OF YOUR INVENTORY?
WHY DOES BREAKING BLOCKS WITH DIFFERENT TOOLS CREATE SEPARATE NBT+ DATA SO THEY DONT STACK??? i HAVE 4 DIFFERENT STACKS OF 1 WOODEN DOOR!!!! AND PLACING THEM DOWN AND BREAKING THEM WITH THE SAME TOOL DOESNT FIX IT!!!!!
WHY DO TORCHES BURN OUT? THATS A DOGSH*T MECHANIC FOR THIS KIND OF GAME!!!
WHY IS EVERY BUTTON TO INTERACT THE SAME KEY?
IF CORPSES, CHESTS, SLEEPING BAGS, OR OTHER CONSTRUCTIONS OVERLAP YOU CAN'T INTERACT WITH THEM.
This game has a line of sight mechanic that they can't even keep consistent.
IF you aim to the right its fine, but if you aim to the left, since that's where all the UI stuff is, you just open menus instead of shooting your gun.
Or like, when you break blocks, even if you have line of sight on the block, you're forced to break a closer block because it's technically behind and you technically can't reach it? Other games that use this 2D style allow you to break blocks you technically dont have line of sight on. Why out of all the game mechanics you could've done something different on, did you make block placing and removing more tedious.

I also love the fact you have to break a block before you can replace it. Terraria? If you're holding a block you can replace a block as long as you have a pickaxe that can break the block in your inventory. This game? If you have constructions on a piece of dirt or whatever that you want to replace you need to break them before you can break the block to replace it.
Why can't you tell npcs to mine out the background blocks?
Why can't you move while making a selection? It's so tedious having to make a selection, move, open the menu to make another selection, on top of once again, the ui elements on the left side making it more tedious to select to the left than to the right of your screen. The map is so useless I don't understand why they have it. So you can see where you colonists are? I can't see elevation on it so it isn't very helpful in a layered base design.

Why the f*ck would you make a game you clearly wouldn't play yourself?
Unless you like how tedious the game is, then which, you can go f*ck yourself.

The end game or post game, is genuinely some of the worst I have ever experienced in any game ever, purely due to the fact it is relatively jank platforming. If the movement was consistent, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I genuinely despise the refresh detection of double jumps, because half the time I don't even get a regular jump. Or having two different slope brushed in conjunction but one is traversable while the other is not.
I don't understand why they have to be inconsistent with it.
I don't see why you can't have a consistent system or layout.
The difficulty spike was just completely jank related and had nothing to do with puzzles or exploration.
You know where to go, getting there is just nonsense.

Especially when they put artificial ceilings in certain areas? like they remove your ability to double jump or your ability to place wires or use the teleporter, if you use it in a place where you're technically able to do so, but would be an unintended way to access areas. Like genuinely the laziest form of putting invisible walls. Just don't let me able to get to those places, dont let me get up therand be like "You're not allowed to jump here so you can't access the area you would be able to if you were able to jump from here."
Dog-sh*t. You call this a metroidvania?
This is linear dog-sh*t. No freedom of approach.

Everytime I tab out of the game the game softlocks.
The hitboxes are pretty lazy for weapons for ones that require precision.

More to play with.
More challenges to be had,
failed on the micro.

If "Kill All Humans" and "Goat Simulator" had a love child.

This game starts you off with the equivalent of three Tree Sentinels from Elden Ring in the starting area of the game. The game was a pain in the ass to die to unchoreographed side-jabs. But then I realized that you really can just button mash with little thought and the AI can't do anything about it because you can just catch it in a loop and not have to think very hard about it. The game was hard, now it ain't. The only thing that's hard is how jank the camera is whenever you jump out of the water.

I genuinely despite how the camera moves with a passion. The camera will arbitrarily decide I wanted to 180 and spin the camera around so I'm no longer looking at the target. It's honestly confusing why it does that. Because it will make the shark do a backflip when I'm trying to ram into a boat in front of me. The grind for resources is kinda slower than I'd expect from a single player game. Especially since the passive mobs don't scale with the player. Kinda mystifying where exactly you go to farm specific resources.

At the moment all I'm doing is just killing humans for "DNA" and then running into a safe zone where the "cops" can't reach me just like I used to do in Kill All Humans. I'm not kidding when I say the concepts are incredibly similar. Except instead of an open world, Kill All Humans is a level select. Same dated humor regarding certain things too. Idk. Not really my cup of tea.
Somewhat underwhelming.

For what it is, it's not bad.
The PVP is kinda mediocre for a game that seems to encourage it as a main gameplay element.
Damage seems to be pretty inconsistent or at least meaningless because what appears to be a significant damage increase actually doesn't do all that much more. I don't understand why something that does double the damage and half the clip is actually worse than what I had before. The balancing is kinda all over the place. It's kind of a sprawl approach which isn't exactly all that fun.

Especially when I die to two hits from a melee despite having melee resistances on top of complete third parties reviving downed players despite not being friends or having allegeances. I don't think that makes all that much sense. Cross teaming is always kinda infuriating.

The resourced needed for basic progression, is also needed to craft guns and armor which I think is kinda stupid. Either have a different resource or don't. I don't want to do 3 expeditions to be able to craft better shoes.

Enemy AI is pretty trivial because they get stuck on most geometry. You can also skip a lot of puzzles or parkour from just jumping and vaulting on stuff that is unintended to be able to do so from. I don't understand the mechanic of being able to transfer your gear between worlds or seasons if you aren't allowed to access items stored in your vault. As well as what happened to my base that I was playing on a PvE server. My entire base was wiped as well as all the stuff inside of it before the season was over. The neighboring bases were still there. It doesn't make any sense.

I don't feel like playing any more of this game.

It's a tough market because there are already a lot of games that have the same gameplay, and progression. I don't want to over generalize the things that were done differently in this game, but I fail to see much variation from games like Paleo Pines and My Time in Portia when you have an open world where most of your time is spent running around rather than doing tasks and farming resources.

I don't like having to wait 30 real minutes to have materials needed to progress finish crafting, as well as the rng aspect of how many resources you get from a node, or where the node spawns. Usually you bet on having the nodes in a consistent area but it's quite honestly random. Also with the servers joining and kicking you randomly, the nodes keep disipearing and respawning somewhere else instead of the same general area. Its kind of annoying to have the entire world lose collision and having to wait until I can fast travel home because I fell thru the map. Its really annoying that upgrades to your tools are not permanent.
And you have to repair them using repair kits, which are cheaper than crafting them fresh, but honestly its an aspect of gameplay that slogs the game down with how tedious already resource gathering already is.

Realistically, do you expect people to play the game until they are level 10 in all skills? That doesn't sound fun. A lot of these types of games aren't fun and quickly lose my interest because of it. It's like how clash of clans makes you weight longer and longer with each upgrade. The cost of resources and the time it takes to craft is genuinely some of the most annoying things ever.

Having the fishing mechanic of Far Cry 5 is interesting especially since you still insist on having the Animal Crossing, wait 3 times before you snag a fish. Especially when you can time your snag so you dont have to wait 3 times in animal crossing. Fishing is boring. I hate it. I especially hate having to stop harvesting resources to go repair my tool. The fast travel is a joke. You either pay to travel, or have to wait for the free one which is 15-30 minutes with each use. It honestly seems arbitrary. Why make the player wait? Your gameplay is limited by time. You cannot progress time for it is on a server. You are forced to wait for specific windows to carry out tasks. Why add even more to that with the arbitrary wait time for crafting resources. It makes little sense. You lock the player in an animation for some, you have automatic crafting for others, you don't need fuel, resources are inconsistently spotted around the playing area.

It convalutes a straight forward loop for no other reason to keep you playing for as long as possible. If you could go to designated areas to grind for the resources you need, the game would be easy. They need you to run around, deload and reload areas in order to respawn or despawn nodes in order to roll the dice that it spawns an iron node and hoping you get 4 ore instead of 3 or 2. It's obnoxious. Why even have the BOTW climb mechanic and paraglider? You can'y climb anything that isn't very specific terrain.

Why even have a stamina meter for climbing if you can sprint indefinitely?
Not a very ambitious title. Not the worst game in this genre. Not much incentive to play often.
Adding daily rewards seems up their alley. They're ♥♥♥♥♥-footing around with what they intend to do.

This would be better with key binds.
I'm sure there is a way to set them up but I can't be bothered to look them up.
I've just been using this like MS paint fr fr

DUDE
WHEN DOES THE FEMME FATALE SHOW UP?
im DRY AS A BONE
All these goons trying to rub me out
I'm just trying to hook up with the chick that leads me on and shoots me in the liver at the end
GAWD DAMN
too much to ask?????
♥♥♥♥ dude.
They're scaring all the chicks off
all the dames are up and gone
bruhhhhh
WJERES the CABARET
Where's the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ FFeather Boas and Feather Bands

Post Apocalyptic future where you can't use a ladder unless you have an internet connection.
God Forbid ladders be analog. We have to connect them to the cloud or else you can't place them.
Who the ♥♥♥♥ put a computer chip in a laddder.
Who'd the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that thought that would be a good idea?
FFS.

Genuinely some of the most ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ enemy placement I have ever experienced. Dying the moment you load into a new zone to three enemies that saw you and started attacking you before the screen even fades in. You can't pause the game, you can't move while the screen is fading in. Unbelievable.
The people who made this game are quite honestly bad at level design because its room after room of loading into getting instantly attacked that in order to avoid it, you have to cheese the game which honestly makes it incredibly boring to use a summon to kite some damage or shooting enemies from a spot they can't see or reach you from.
Genuinely disappointing.
There are many areas that have well designed level layouts. The rest are either empty and sprawling, or claustrophobic cluterf*cks. It's incredibly disappointing the level of care some areas received than others. It is the textbook definition of sprawl. The sheer amount of artificial walls ruins the mood for me personally.
Piss easy. Just boring. Trial and Error nonsense.
You fight one basic enemy in an open ampitheatre and then in the next area fight 3 enemies, two of which are tankier and have enchanted gear, in a 1 bedroom apartment the moment you load into the room which refuse to follow you out of the load zone to fight in the more open area you were just in.
I simply don't understand where they went wrong.
A lot of terrain just doesn't have collision. You can scale most surfaces that aren't vertical by spamming space. You fall through objects that are placed as if you're supposed to traverse them like a fallen tree bridging a gap between two cliffs. I don't understand why the game functions as it currently does.
I enjoy the Macro of this game. The Micro is mainly my gripes with this title.